Feed the Gods Page #3

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especially not when it's not blowing.

Animal? No, that's

definitely not an animal.

That's, uh...

Imagination?

Yeah. I could

just sleep in here.

No, no. I'm...

I'm gonna go out.

And monsters. They open

doors as easily as close them.

Yeah, what the hell? You only

live once, and chicks dig scars.

Let's do this.

Jesus, f***!

Everything okay?

Do you need help getting back?

Yeah.

I think I, uh...

I just need some sleep.

Okay.

Wyatt, still think

this was a good idea?

Okay, you're right.

F***ing Thailand for Christmas.

Stick with me now.

Payoff's comin'.

I hope it's worth the trouble.

I wouldn't be here if it wasn't.

Did you remember

to lock the doors?

Maybe it was a bunch of

schoolkids or something.

The tape's gone and the

battery's dead. So, now what?

I would say you have...

about a 1-in-30 chance

of finding your parents.

What makes you say that?

There's only 60 people

left in town.

Oh.

Right.

The math works.

Thank you.

900 hours.

After suffering a slight delay,

zee expedition continues as we search

the few remaining inhabitants...

for information as to

the whereabouts of our parents.

We split into two groups:

Kris and his fiance Brit,

and me alone.

Alone. Alone with Emma.

Alone with Emma.

So you make movies?

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I mean... No. No.

No, I-I used to, uh, tool

around when I was a kid.

But then I found this camera

after Baba died.

Who's Baba?

Uh, our foster mother.

Kris and I.

She had a stroke

a couple weeks ago.

You know, strokes

are a natural part of life.

Can't control them.

Best not to try.

At least it was fast.

I'm so sorry.

I had no idea.

I'm...

Thanks.

It's... It's been hard.

Was she, um...

Was she the only family

you guys had? Or...

Yeah. Yeah, pretty much.

Just me and Kris.

And he is not...

Haven't been

getting along lately?

It's complicated, you know?

I mean... And-And now...

him and Brit are moving to New

York, and... New York? That's...

Yeah.

Wow.

Well, I mean, come on.

I'm big-time too.

No, I don't doubt it.

Yeah. I mean, I'm gonna... I gonna be

the guy who catches Bigfoot on tape.

You just might.

Yeah.

Uh, anyway...

Thanks for the ride.

And, um,

I guess I'll see you later.

All right.

I'll See ya.

Thanks.

Pete, we're still okay.

Hello.

Uh, we are from...

Really, really

friendly folks up here.

Salt of the earth.

Can I help you?

Uh, yeah.

Do you know when the tourism

and information office opens?

Yeah. About 10 years ago.

Uhh.

Um, then do you know anything

about Thomas and Janet Oates?

Need lots of answers, huh?

Well, I need customers.

What, this?

If you could just do,

like, my Amish neck beard.

Of course.

All types of tourists used

to roll in and out of this town.

I probably couldn't tell you

even if I had met them.

Head back.

What makes you ask?

They're my parents.

Your parents?

Well, I mean, biologically, yes.

Me and my brother, Kris,

we were raised by another woman.

She's actually,

uh, from these parts.

Olivia Osenchuk?

Some call her Baba.

Would you look at that.

Nope.

Never heard of her.

Turn to the left.

Sure as the sun rises,

there has never been anyone

in this town by that name.

Curtis! Strop!

What's that figurine

on the mantel?

Wild Man. Superstition.

Lots of that in Tendale.

What kind of superstition?

Well, some time ago,

natives lived here.

Taking from the land.

Giving to the land.

Small things.

Animals, usually.

Offerings,

if you can believe it.

Sacrifices.

Yeah.

They still do it? Natives? Nah.

- Well, why not?

- Don't have none.

See, after

the white folks settled,

well, people started

goin' missing.

Children, mostly.

They put a red mark on the door

of every home that lost someone.

Why'd they go missing?

Well, you are Mr. Q & A,

aren't you?

Well, I guess I wouldn't

put him up there...

if I minded people

talkin' about it.

Wild Man took 'em.

'Course...

that's what the natives said.

Then the Red Purge.

The white man drove 'em out?

They killed them.

How's that?

Yeah.

5.50, please,

and thank you.

Yeah.

So what happened

after the purge?

Well, poof.

Half the town

taken by the Wild Man.

Taken?

Where were they taken?

Do you really wanna go to all this

trouble just for a wives' tale?

Well, I mean...

Curtis.

You mind finding

our friend here a map?

Thank you.

Emma.

Yeah.

I'm lookin' at it right now.

Left the car unlocked

with the lights on.

And the tape? Yeah, no, no.

There's nothin' on the tape.

No. Everything looks good.

So they're free to go?

Yeah. There's nothing on here.

Just a few shots

around town. That's it.

- They didn't see anything.

- How'd your thing go?

Uh...

Bunch of slammed doors.

Rude.

Copy that.

Hey.

You guys ready to go back?

Uh-uh. Actually...

here, please.

Pick up the gear, head into

the woods and find Mom and Dad.

- Why would they be in the woods?

- 'Cause that's what the barber said.

You sure you guys

don't want me to come with you?

No. That's okay. This

is a family thing anyway.

Uh, we'll meet here tomorrow.

Uh, this exact spot. Yeah? Yeah.

See you then.

- You guys ready yet?

- Yeah.

What's gotten you so excited?

I got a good feeling about this!

1800 hours.

Vee continue our journey

on foot.

Za bugs are buzzing.

Za birds, zey singing.

Careful of the prickly bushes.

Uh, no. I'm coming. Yeah, no.

All right. Safe to say

we're officially lost.

Doesn't make any sense.

The map says that we're...

It's not a map, Will. It's some

doodle drawn by some backwoods morons.

Why would they draw us

a map to nowhere?

Us and those Aussie horndogs

are the only tourists they have.

They need our business.

Oh, our business.

For what?

There's no one here.

This town's f***ing dead.

What about our parents?

They dead too?

This is a waste of

time. Okay? All of this.

What? You don't think I

see what it is you're doing?

Feeding Brit a sob story

about how we need to do this?

How we need to find our roots?

Well, guess what, Will.

Our roots don't exist.

Our roots are long f***ing gone.

And Brit agrees with me.

Kris, stop it.

The only reason she agreed to do

this is because she's a nice person...

and she feels sorry for you.

I do not feel sorry for you.

I believe in you, and so

does Kris. He's just...

Don't put words in my mouth. All right?

You don't see it.

You don't see what he is.

Family.

I'm your family.

Ah. Well, maybe family

is overrated.

And there it is.

Right?

Kris, the patron saint of douche

bag c*cks around the f***ing world.

Go to hell, Will.

Yeah. Save me a seat.

Okay?

You know what?

I am sorry.

I'm sorry I'm such

a disappointment to you.

I'm sorry that you have to move

to the other side of the country...

just to get some time to yourself.

Yeah, well, you said it, not me.

Do you ever think maybe

I want you out of my life,

that I'd be happy if

you left? Well, great.

Because I'm tired

of keeping an eye...

on my irresponsible,

half-baked, older brother.

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