Ferdinand Page #3

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Lupe in the house.

BONES:
You suck, Lupe!

Oh, yeah? I used to suck,

but not anymore. (CHUCKLES)

Let me introduce you

to the new guy.

He's a monster

and I'm his coach.

And did I mention

that he is my closest

and dearest BFF...

What did you say

your name was?

Ferdinand? Is that you?

Hey!

That is a ridiculous name.

Tell him your real name,

killer.

Yeah, it's me, Ferdinand.

Hey, guys.

Wait a minute.

You know these chumps?

Whoo! Little Ferdinand.

You've had a growth spurt.

Suddenly I regret every time

I called you weirdo.

Don't sweat it, Bones.

We're good.

My gosh! What have

they been feeding you?

Oh, hey. Guapo?

That's right.

The one and only.

Ah, I get it.

You try to come back here

and intimidate us?

'Cause let me

tell you something.

I am not intimidated

by your freakish hugeness!

Oh, mama.

I don't know you...

but I'm not scared of ya,

you sorry sack of meat.

You're an affront

to my nostrils.

(CHUCKLES) Angus,

you're talking to his butt.

Oh. (SPLUTTERS)

I will not take any lip from

the flea-bitten likes of you,

you wee goat.

(CHUCKLES)

Now you're talking to my butt.

Aah! Go and boil your head,

ya bunch of bampos.

I'm away.

Uh, a few new faces

around here since I left, huh?

(EXCLAIMS)

(GRUNTS MENACINGLY)

Hello, Maquina. Hi!

He was created in a lab.

A Franken-bull.

Says nothing, feels nothing.

(FLY BUZZING)

You seem fun.

Look what the goat dragged in.

Hey, Val.

Valiente?

He remembers. Oh, I'm touched.

Hey!

Oh. Didn't see you there,

Bones.

What do you mean you didn't

see me? Oh, I get it.

'Cause I'm small.

You know what you are?

A sizeist.

(GRUNTS)

Guess some things

never change.

Look at you. All grown up.

When you ran away with your

tail between your legs...

I never thought

I'd see you back here.

That makes two of us.

Nah, I get it.

Now that

you're a big tough guy,

you think you're better

than me.

What?

Correction, Valerie.

Actually, he knows

he's better than you.

Ain't that right, F-Bomb?

I didn't say that.

You said it with your eyes.

Well, I'm glad you're back.

You are?

Oh, yeah.

Good to have a real bull

around here for once.

It'll make me look even better

when I beat you to a pulp

inside the ring.

Welcome back, Ferdinand.

Wow. He really hates you.

That was insane.

They all hate me.

Yeah, they hate you.

They hate me.

They hate each other.

A lot of hate.

It crushes your soul if you

let yourself think about it.

Oh, well.

Come on, pal.

Let me show you your new digs.

This is the one.

Ooh.

Get that big butt in there.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Oh, that's heavy. Get in!

(STRAINING)

Ow!

Isn't this great?

It's smaller than I remember.

Oh, you don't like it?

You know where I live?

A bucket.

And there it is.

Took the liberty

of moving my stuff in,

hope you don't mind.

Wait! I know

what our place needs.

Little feminine touch.

(GAGGING)

(UPBEAT SONG PLAYING)

A little something

from me to you.

(BURPS)

Excusez-moi. (CHUCKLES)

Little bit of regurgitation.

Nighty-night, bestie.

Don't let the bed bugs bite.

No, seriously,

there are bed bugs

and they are vicious.

(LUPE SNORING)

(SIGHS)

(LUPE VOCALIZES)

(LUPE MUMBLING)

(LUPE SNORING)

FERDINAND:
Huh?

Wow. You weren't kidding

about the bugs.

UNA:
(GASPS)

He saw us. Stay still!

DOS:
Hey! Why would you stop?

UNA:
(WHISPERING) Go back.

We have to do something.

DOS:
All right,

let's do it old school.

(CLAPS TWICE)

(UPBEAT SONG PLAYING)

Um... Are you trying

to steal my stuff?

Oh, no. We'd never

do something like that.

Nope. Not us.

You have offended us, sir!

I'm sorry, little guys.

I feel terrible.

Ow!

Don't fall for it, Ferd.

They're filthy weasels.

Hey! We're not filthy weasels.

We're filthy hedgehogs.

She knows what we are.

Yeah.

Beady-eyed, little thieves.

We're not thieves.

We're survivors.

(LUPE BLEATS)

Balls!

Let's roll!

No, wait! Hold on! The flower!

(SCREAMS)

Please don't chew on us!

My greatest fear

is death by chew.

Step back, beast!

Come on.

You wanna dance? Let's dance.

Oh, hey!

Don't tempt me, pinecone.

Will you stop?

Eat quills!

And you,

I'm not eating anyone.

Ha!

Wait, wait. Hold on.

You're not like

the other meatheads, are you?

Don't be fooled, sister.

Where do you think the

word bully comes from, hmm?

It ain't from chickens!

No, no. Look at him!

He's soft and sweet.

Like butter.

Thanks. I think.

Let's start over. I'm Una.

I'm Dos.

And I'm Cuatro.

Oh. What happened to Tres?

(GASPS)

We do not speak of Tres.

Oh.

Sorry.

Look, you can

take the food if you want.

I'm not hungry.

Oh, really?

Whoo-hoo! You don't

have to tell me twice.

Ah-bup-bup-bup.

The flower stays.

(SIGHS)

Good-bye. For now.

Let me give you a boost.

Oh, thank you!

Nah, I don't know.

Ow! Okay, fine.

Ooh! Free ride!

Great to meet you!

What a nice bull.

Oh, yeah.

Sucker won't survive

a day in this place.

Hmm.

I gotta get back home.

(SNORING)

(LUPE MUMBLING)

(EXCLAIMS)

LUPE:
Get back. Get back!

Ow, ow, ow. Get back!

(GASPS) Where are my teeth?

(SNORES)

(MAN LAUGHING)

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

All right, I'm going home!

I'm going...

(GRUNTING)

Holy cow, that hurt.

(GROANING)

Face is on fire.

(LAUGHTER)

Klaus, Greta, look!

Looks like somebody

wants to come

to our side of the fence.

Silly moo-moo.

He doesn't know the rules.

Hey, can you guys help me out?

How do I get

to the other side?

Hmm. How do you get

to the other side?

Oh, let me ponder

this question a little bit.

(LAUGHS)

Mmm... (GASPS)

Spoiler alert! You don't!

(ALL LAUGH)

Hoof bump. Hoof bump, Klaus.

Hoof bump, Greta.

(ALL WHINNY)

See, this is the beautiful

horsey side.

And that

is the stinky bull side.

Yeah.

Beautiful horsies stay here,

and you ugly beasts

stay there.

Don't even think of coming

over to our side.

Or we'll alert the humans.

Yeah.

Sucks to be you.

There is no escape.

Nothing gets past us.

Never ever never.

Never ever, ever, ever.

HANS:
We have eyes

on the back of our heads.

KLAUS:
Yeah.

HANS:
The nose of a kitten.

GRETA:

The flexibility of a monkey.

Ears like that

of a cocker spaniel.

Good one.

Shoo! Shoo, shoo!

Go on, stinky one.

Have a nice day

smelling terrible.

KLAUS:
Yeah.

(HORSES LAUGH)

HANS:
I bet his parents

weren't even related.

(HORSES LAUGHING)

(BLEATING)

(YAWNS)

Wow. People around here

are pigs. Aah!

Aah! Sardine can!

(RETCHING)

Oh, that turned.

RANCH HAND:

El Primero is coming.

El Primero is coming. Come on!

RANCH HAND 2:
What?

El Primero is coming here?

El Primero? El Primero!

El Primero!

Oh. Here?

El Primero!

El Primero! El Primero!

El Primero!

What?

El Primero. El Primero.

Ow, ow, ow.

El Primero.

(SCREAMS)

LUPE:
Ow!

El Primero.

Oh! Hey. Uh, sorry about that.

El Primero.

Who?

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

Big P is in the house!

There are many

great bullfighters in Spain...

but there is only one

El Primero.

You got this, Guap.

You got this. You got this.

Hey, Guapo. No pressure.

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