Ferdinand Page #4

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Oh, mama!

Don't let that jerk

get in your head, Guap.

Where is he? Show me!

Point me

in the right direction.

Excuse me.

Goat coming through.

(GRUNTING) El Primero.

CROWD:
Ol.

(EXCLAIMS)

El Primero! Love you, man.

(GASPS AND BLEATS)

El Primero, seor!

Welcome to Casa del Toro.

What an honor to have you here

at my humble home.

Es un honor.

I do not shake.

My hands are my instruments.

As are my arms, legs,

chest, feet.

(INHALES)

And buttocks.

Comprende?

Uh... Of course, seor.

I am here to select a bull.

(GASPS)

Uno!

One?

My final fight. One bull.

The best bull.

Against the best bullfighter.

No, of course.

The best...

for the best.

S. I understand.

But we have...

The best against the best.

No, we will...

To see who's

the best-est-est-est.

I have a new bull. I think

will be perfect for you.

Zip!

Only El Primero knows

who is the best.

Sorry. I meant no disrespect.

And yet, I felt disrespected.

Now, what is the best bedroom

in the house?

Uh...

Mine, I suppose.

I'll take that one.

(EXCLAIMS)

Let me know

when the bulls are ready.

Get the bulls ready

for Seor Primero.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

(SIGHS)

(RANCH HANDS SPEAKING SPANISH)

Vamos! Vamos!

Okay, listen up, F-Train.

I've got exactly 30 seconds

to teach you everything

about bullfighting.

Number one. Don't get hit.

Number two.

Destroy anything that moves.

And number three...

Actually, that's it.

It's not that complicated.

Oh, trust me, Lupe.

This is not for me.

Relax, buddy.

It's a slam dunk!

El Primero is going

to take one look

at your big beautiful

hugeness and boom!

You're on your way

to the big show.

I can already hear the crowds

in Madrid chanting your name.

Lupe! Lupe! Lupe!

(BLEATS)

I want the new bull out first.

(BELLOWS)

ANGUS:
Well, well.

(SPLUTTERS) Looks like

someone's the teacher's pet.

News flash! No one likes

the teacher's pet.

(GRUNTS)

You know I've been waiting

for this day for a long time.

It's gonna get messy,

Ferdinand.

(WHIMPERING SOFTLY)

(GRUNTS) This is it.

Come on! Bring it on!

Let's go! Let's go out there

and give it 110%.

(GAGS)

(RETCHING)

Hey, that better not be

my bucket, Guap.

It's definitely your bucket.

Ugh, gross.

Hey, hey, buddy.

You feeling good?

No. Not really.

Okay. Cool.

Try to have some fun with it.

I'll be sitting

in the front row.

I call it the splash zone.

I'll see ya later.

Impress me.

Release the bulls!

Nope. Nope. No, no, no.

BONES:
Get outta the way!

I'm gonna sit this one out.

Get out there!

Let's go! Get in there.

No, I'll pass, thanks.

BONES:
Let's go. Move!

You guys go ahead.

Move!

(YELLS)

ANGUS:

For the glory of Scotland!

(GROANS)

Whoo-hoo!

Smash them in the head!

Whoa!

Watch out.

Hey.

(WHIMPERING)

Up high. Down low. Too slow.

Outta my way, Bones!

Ha! That didn't hurt.

Ferdinand,

El Primero is watching.

You gotta hit something.

Nope. Actually, I'm gonna pass

on the violence.

Well, if you don't hit them,

they're going to hit you.

Gangway!

Whoa!

(ANGUS GRUNTS)

You finally ready to fight?

Come on!

Guapo with the hit.

Take that, Valiente.

You think you got

what it takes, Guapo?

Then show that to El Primero.

Oh, I will. I'll show him who

the real champ is around here.

Keep it together, Guapo.

(GROANS)

Bull down!

Aah!

Hey! Get off me!

EL PRIMERO:
Enough.

The bullfight is a battle

of wits and strength.

These bulls have nothing.

Espere, seor.

Give the bulls another chance.

My final fight is in two days.

If I do not find the best bull

for the best bullfighter

by then...

no bullfighter will ever

use your ranch again.

What did you think you were

doing back there, you numpty?

Are you trying

to make us look bad?

Because you made us look bad.

You made us look real bad.

I was just trying

to help Guapo.

Help? There's no helping.

(GRUNTS)

Oh, you are the worst

fighting bull

I have ever partially seen.

Well, that's because he isn't

a real fighter. (LAUGHS)

Oh, little Ferdinand

had a growth spurt.

But he's still the same scared

little coward he always was.

Why does not wanting to fight

mean I'm scared?

Yeah. That's ridonculous.

Look at him.

My boy is a killing machine.

Right, Ferd?

No, I'm not a killing machine.

I've been trying

to tell you, Lupe.

You didn't destroy a village?

And I didn't eat a baby.

Not even a nibble?

Eh...

Are you trying to tell me

that you don't want to fight

for glory in the ring?

I'm not a fighter.

I don't understand that

at all.

Yeah, me either.

What else is there?

(TRUCK GATE CLANGS)

GUAPO:
Whoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Look who got picked

by El Primero.

Who's the bull now?

Uh-huh. Guapo going to

the big show, that's right.

What in the blazes?

I have no idea

what happened back there.

No clue.

But it must have been epic!

(STAMMERS) What in the deuce

is happening?

Somebody narrate.

I'm gonna be famous! Whoo!

Oh, no!

So long, suckers!

Wait a second.

Where are they taking him?

Uh...

They're taking Guap

to the chop house.

You.

You messed with his head.

This is on you.

Oh, please.

Guapo was never going

to make it to the ring.

We all knew that.

And so, because of that,

he deserves to go there?

Listen to me, Flower Bull.

Things have changed

around here

since you ran away.

Now, you're either a fighter

or you're meat.

Later, meat.

(SNIFFLING)

Bones?

Ferdinand!

I'm not...

You okay?

Why wouldn't I be okay?

I just have, uh... allergies.

Oh, yeah, sure.

You know,

there's a lot of pollen

in the air this time of year.

That's right, a lot of pollen.

Makes my eyes water.

FERDINAND:
Hey...

I'm really sorry about Guapo.

I know you guys were friends.

Bulls don't have friends,

Ferd.

Guapo was my competition,

okay?

I'm fine.

Oh, okay.

I mean, how many times

did I tell him...

"You gotta get

outta your head, man.

"You gotta control

your fears," you know.

But he wouldn't listen.

(SNIFFS)

Sorry.

It's okay to feel bad, Bones.

You won't tell anyone

about this, will you?

I won't say a word.

But if you ever

wanna talk about,

I don't know, allergies?

I'm around.

Thanks, Ferdinand.

You're okay.

Hey, Ferd, look...

if you don't wanna

end up like Guap...

you gotta get your horns

in the game, man.

That's the one thing

Valiente's got right.

I'm comin' for ya,

you bleedin' barrel!

Oh! (GRUNTING)

And the barrel wins

another round!

Give up, dude.

Hey, big guy, you're on.

Mr. Matador is watching.

BONES:
I got this. Uh-huh.

I'm ready. Let's go.

Come on!

In. Out. In. Out.

(GRUNTS)

Hmm!

(GRUNTING)

HANS:
Come on, Klaus.

Come on, Greta.

Und up! Two, three, four.

Pirouette!

Oh, jealous?

GRETA:
Good prancing, boys.

ANGUS:
Oh, yes.

That's the one.

Look alive, F-Stop.

We got 24 hours to whip you

into shape for El Primero.

From now on, you're not soft.

You're not a flower bull.

You're a killing machine.

ANGUS:
I'll finally get you

this time, barrel.

LUPE:
Say it with me.

I am a...

Bunny!

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