Fever Pitch

Eighty-six years of banging

our heads against the big green wall...

but we finally did it.

That part you know.

That part everybody knows.

But I got a story

you don't know.

It's about this schoolteacher

friend of mine named Ben.

This is him, back in 1980,

when he was a kid.

The little guy

was going through a tough time.

His parents had just got divorced,

and his mom dragged him up here to Boston...

where he didn't know nobody.

One day Ben's mom says,

"Enough moping 'around, "

and she calls her brother Carl

to take him somewhere...

anywhere, just to get

the kid out of the house.

Uncle Carl didn't have

any children of his own...

so he wasn't exactly

what you'd call "kid savvy. "

I'm not gonna have to change hi m

or anything, am I?

Carl, look at him.

He's seven, you dope. Come here.

Carl wasn't the kind of uncle

who was gonna take you to the circus...

or the zoo or a puppet show...

but he did know the greatest place

to bring any kid-

The heart and soul of Boston,

Fenway Park.

That was also the day I met Ben.

The pretty boy with the glasses?

That's me, Al Waterman. I sell sponges.

Now that's the Green Monster, kid.

- Monster?

- Yep.

I taught the boy

what I knew about the game...

and Carl taught him what he knew.

Hey, Zimmer, you idiot,

what are you batting this bum leadoff for?

Dwight Evans parked

a couple homers, the Sox won...

and by day's end, poor Ben had become

one of Gods most pathetic creatures-

- a Red Sox fan.

- Wow!

And that's where the story begins.

Careful, kid.

They'll break your heart.

You could have gone over right there.

Come on, you gotta be aggressive, man.

- Take off the training wheels.

- Hey, I got a crowbar under the seat, okay?

So don't make me

knock your teeth out.

What are you doing?

Audrey and Tammy, are you guys talking

to each other on the phone?

We're conferencing Amanda. She's home sick.

Amanda likes that song, Mr. Wrightman.

Can you turn it up, please?

Okay, so I asked for no ham, double turkey,

but it looks like they gave me double ham.

- Do you want me to go back?

- Uh, no. Just toss some of it in my mouth.

- And that teacher's here with those kids.

- What?

That teacher you talked to on the phone,

about coming in, having a tour.

Oh, oh, God, that's today?

- They're here.

- Oh, no.

Okay, uh, just pretend that you're me

and take them around and- Hi.

- There they are.

- Ben Wrightman. We talked on the phone.

- Nice to meet you.

- Yes, yes, I've been waiting for you.

Hi, I'm Lindsey Meeks.

Excuse me.

Can I get anyone

something to drink?

Vodka martini, straight up.

Three olives, please.

Hey, I asked you to behave.

Uh, are you allowed to hit them?

Yeah, actually.

Do you wanna take a swipe at him?

I'll hold him if you want.

- Maybe later.

- Uh, okay. As I said on the phone, Lindsey...

I teach honors geometry,

ninth grade.

And every year I pick

a few promising math students...

to meet someone who's pursued

mathematics as an educational discipline...

and has made practical use

of that education.

So, thanks for having us.

All right, the client

I'm working for right now...

is this really cool company

called Marquis Jet...

and theyre trying to figure out how to

make renting private jets more affordable.

Wow. Now that's the way to go.

Yeah, and they're growing

like crazy...

so they'd have to buy more jets

in order to meet the demands.

Now let me ask you guys

a crazy question.

Are any of you in the habit

of looking at numbers-

You know, addresses, license plates,

phone numbers- and adding them up...

and rearranging them in your head

to make more interesting patterns?

Oh, my God,

she knows my secret shame.

Well, step into the light, my friend,

because this is the church of numbers...

and every day is Sunday.

- She was a major hottie.

- Major?

- Colonel hottie.

- Yeah, she went optic for you, Mr. Wrightman.

- Optic?

- Yeah, I saw her glance to the pants.

- No way. - Yeah.

- What do you mean?

- I mean she was totally-

- No, no, not you. You. What did you mean?

Nothin', you know.

Well, come on, man.

You saw her.

What? Wait. Are you saying

that she's out of my league?

She is bringing some serious heat, man.

I don't know if you got the bat speed.

Oh, I got the bat speed. I got plenty

of bat speed. I could hit her best cheese.

Ezra, I need those

customer satisfaction data reports.

- I put them on your desk, Lindsey.

- Good lad. Keep me posted.

You got it.

- Those kids were cute.

- Which kids?

- The ones from earlier today.

- Oh. Yeah.

Maybe I should become a teacher

or a college professor, you know.

The hours would be better. You get summers free.

It's so much less competitive.

- Oh, my God, Jack is leaving.

- What?

Jack is leaving

the company next summer.

What that- So, do you think they're gonna

bring someone in from the outside?

- I have- I don't know. - Or do you

think they're gonna promote from within?

I thought you were

becoming a teacher.

Low blood sugar. I didn't eat yet.

Hi.

Hi. I didn't wanna interrupt.

It sounded like you were involved

with some major corporate hoo-ha.

Oh, well, there's a position

about to open up...

so it might get

mildly murderous around here.

Oh. Wha-Wha-Wha-

I want your job! I'm the boss!

Wha-Wha-

Yes. So, um-

Why am I here? Um-

I just wanted you to know that you really

got through to the kids today.

You know,

they're really juiced.

Oh, thanks. They were- They were great.

Well, you're welcome.

Thank you.

So, is the conversation over?

You mean 'cause neither of us

are speaking?

Yeah.

No. Yeah, I also-

I came back because I just-

I wanted to ask you if I could

ask you out sometime.

Socially.

I won't be bringing the kids.

Oh!

Uh-

- Hike.

- Get him! Get him!

- Oh!

- All right, good "D." Good "D."

I know why she wouldn't go out with me.

She thinks I'm not in her class.

- She said that?

- No. I could see it on her face.

- "Like I would really date a schoolteacher. "

- Ouch.

Down, set, hike.

Yeah, go, go, go!

Ben, what are you doing? It's two-hand touch.

You were down back there.

And back there and back there.

What's the matter with you?

Come on, guys.

Sorry. Sorry, guys.

All right, Lindsey,

so what's the matter with this one?

He's not smart?

He's not attractive?

He was.

It's just, you know-

- I don't know. It's hopeless.

- Oh, boy, here we go.

You're right, I'm an idiot.

I'm about to turn 20-10...

and the dating market is,

shall we say, bearish.

And instead of becoming more open

and available, I'm becoming less open.

Come on, people.

Talking isn't burning calories.

Let's go. Start pedaling.

Come on.

Maybe you should date

a different kind of guy.

Why? What do you mean?

Well, all the guys you date are sharp

and competitive and successful.

- It's like youre dating yourself.

- Ding, ding, ding.

Wh-What's wrong

with the schoolteacher?

- Well-

- He's a schoolteacher.

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