Fever Pitch Page #8

Hi. Would you like an omelet?

They... won.

The Red Sox?

Oh, good!

This really is your night.

No. You don't understand. They scored eight runs

in the bottom of the ninth to win 8-7.

It was the best game ever.

I- I can't-

I- I never miss a game.

Ever.

This is like a nightmare.

No, this is beyond that. This is like

a punishment from God or something.

Two minutes ago you said

this was the best night of your life.

Yeah. Two minutes ago it was.

Hey. I didn't tell you

not to go.

Oh, no. No, no.

Of course not. No.

You had nothing to do with it.

I just suddenly had a whim...

after 11 years of never missing an inning,

to suddenly not go to a Yankees game.

Hey.

Wasn't it you yourself

that said just tonight...

"It's only a game"?

Oh, that's great.

That's great. Pile it on. Yeah.

- Kick me when I'm down. That's great.

- It is just a game.

Clearly, it's not just a game!

If it was, then obviously I wouldn't

care about it this much.

Twenty-three years.

Do you still care about anything

you cared about 23 years ago?

How about 10?

How about five?

Name me a single thing that youve cared

about for 23 years.

Yeah. No, um, there isn't actually

anything I've wanted for 23 years...

because 23 years ago

I was seven...

and if I still wanted to marry Scott Baio,

I would think that my life went terribly wrong.

I- I just thought tonight

was so different.

You broke my heart, Ben.

Hey.

Awesome!

Whoo-hoo!

Wow!

- Wow!

- Yeah, baby!

Well, the Red Sox's once-promising season...

has certainly taken

a turn for the worse.

Losing the last three games,

and today trailing to the Texas Rangers.

Curse of the Bam bi no.

T o think we quit our jobs

for that road trip.

It's not a curse.

Did you know the Titanic

sank the same week Fenway Park opened?

April 1912.

Oh, you-

Well, that's it.

The Yankees officially

clinch the division.

Seven years in a row now,

we finish with our faces in their butts.

Hey, hey, hey. It's not time to jump off

the Tobin Bridge yet, okay?

We still have the wild card.

Oh, that's easy. First we gotta beat Oakland

or Anaheim- on the road.

Then we gotta play

the Yankees in the House of Pain.

Why do we inflict this

on ourselves?

Why?

I'll tell you why.

'Cause the Red Sox

never let you down.

- Huh?

- That's right. I mean-

Why? 'Cause they haven't won a World Series

in a century or so?

So what?

They're here.

Every April, they're here.

At 1:
05 or at 7:05,

there is a game.

And if it gets rained out, guess what.

They make it up to you.

Does anyone else

in your life do that?

The Red Sox don't get divorced.

This is a real family.

This is the family that's here for you.

You know, I don't ask her

to give up her family, do I?

Come on! Let's get some runs!

Let's get some runs!

You know the best part?

I can get over her because I am a Red Sox fan.

I mean, I'm tough. I've been through

a lot in this park, man.

I can take this.

Because I am bulletproof.

Behind the bag! It gets through Buckner!

Here comes Knight, and the Mets win it!

Open the door, man!

Little roller up along first.

Behind the bag!

It gets through Buckner!

- Oh, my God.

- The Buckner game?

- I thought you took that away from him!

- I did!

Behind the bag! It gets through Buckner!

And the Mets win it!

It wasn't just Buckner.

Stanley screwed him.

He didn't cover first.

- Where'd you get this?

- I- I don't remember.

Don't lie to me. Right.

Do you have anymore of these?

Huh? Where's your stash?

Ben, this isn't helping you.

You understand that?

This solves nothing!

Ben, look at you.

Yeah, leave me alone.

- All right. Let's clean him up.

- Come on.

- I let her down.

- Let's go.

- I am the Red Sox.

- You're not the Red Sox.

- I am the Red Sox.

- You're not the Red Sox.

Get him up on the shoulder

there, Gerard.

I got the shoulder right now.

- What are you doing?

- Relax. I'm a doctor.

Yeah, well, not to pry,

Doc, but why are you shaving my balls?

- Well, if you don't want me to-

- No, I don't want you to.

- Whatever.

- Hey.

- Bottom of the 10th.

- Swing and a fly ball to left field! Way back!

Way back!

The Red Sox are going...

to the American League

Championship Series...

on the back of David Ortiz!

Al I right. You've been waiting

al I year for this.

The Yankees, Red Sox,

the best rivalry in sports starts tonight.

8:
00, Yankee Stadium.

Let's get it on.

The 2-2 pitch. Mueller back to Rivera.

To second for one.

On to first. Double play!

And the Yankees take game one.

The Yankees

are a strike away. Here's a 1-2 pitch.

Struck him out swinging

That'll wrap it up.

For the second night in a row,

the Yankees have beaten the Red Sox.

Here's a 2-0.

Mueller flies to center.

Bernie Williams is there,

and the Yankees have won it.

The end of a long night,

and perhaps the end for the Boston Red Sox...

losing tonight 19-8, now falling

in the series three games to none.

I mean, this thing is over.

They keep swinging the bats...

the way they are, Don,

this thing's done.

19-8. Good God.

Will you stop saying that? Okay?

- Now, who we pitching tomorrow?

- What's the difference?

We're losing three games to nothing

to the Yankees.

In a hundred years, no team in the play-offs

has ever come back from that.

It's over. It's finished. Bye. Wave to it.

Bye, Charlie. Bye, Charlie.

Oh. Isn't that Jason Varitek?

Yeah. That is him.

With Johnny Damon and Trot.

- They're eating.

- So what?

So what? We're sitting here

dining on our guts over the Red Sox.

And there three members

of the Red Sox are eating.

With gusto?

- Ironic.

- Ironic?

Ted Williams would roll over

in his freezer if he saw this.

Would you please be cool?

Why shouldn't they eat?

They-They played hard.

They did their best. Move on.

I kind of envy these guys.

You know. No.

They understand something that we don't.

Their whole life

isn't out in that field.

It's their job.

It's not an obsession.

My God!

It's official.

I'm an idiot.

That's funny because I was gonna-

- Can you get the door?

- Sure.

Hello.

Uh, is- is Lindsey-

Who are you?

I'm Patrick. Who are you?

- I'm Ben.

- Oh, Ernie. Stop it, Ernie.

- Please.

- Hey, Ern.

Ernie! Ernie, be nice.

You be a good boy now.

- Uh-

- Come on. Sorry.

- Ben.

- Hi.

Uh, what are you-what are you, having a party?

Uh, a group of us, um,

just had this work thing...

and then some of us

came back here after.

Um, I'm gonna

talk to him, okay?

- Are you okay?

- Yeah. I'm good. Thanks.

- Are you- Are you on a date?

- No. It's-

It's a work thing.

I didn't want to go alone, so, you know-

Carrie and Ezra are here as well.

Oh. So it's a double date.

Well, that's- that's perfect. That's great.

- Ben, what are you doing here?

- I- I wanted to talk to you. I-

I can't believe youre on a date.

This is like-

- I'm not.

- Yeah, well, you know what? Look. I'll call ya.

Sorry I bothered you.

I'll call ya.

No, no. This is crazy.

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