Fido Page #2

Bill!

I met our new neighbors today.

Did you know that he is the new head

of security for Zomcon?

Really?

That's who moved into

the old Johnson place?

Uh-huh. And did you know

that they have six zombies. Six!

And when his wife asked me

how many we had,

I didn't know what to say.

So I told her we had one.

You what?

What was I supposed to do?

Tell her that my husband

is afraid of zombies?

I'm not going to talk about this.

Hey.

Zombie?

The roast.

- Dad.

- Sorry.

I thought that was

a different button.

Whoops.

What are you doing?

It's hurting him.

Sorry. I...

You know,

I bet with our new neighbor,

we'll have the safest

street in Willard.

I can't argue with that.

And, obviously,

it will be chained up

in the backyard

when it's not doing chores.

Obviously.

It'll have to be.

Helen, propriety.

You're the boss, dear.

Afraid of zombies.

I'll tell you what

I'm afraid of, little lady.

Nothing, that's what.

Just stay right there.

Think I'm afraid of you?

Huh?

That what you think?

That's right.

That's right.

Nicely done, Tammy.

No.

Grandpa's fallen

and he's getting up.

The elderly.

They seem friendly enough,

but can you really trust them?

No.

So don't get caught off guard.

Buy the Zomcon Zombie Alert

heart monitor.

When the heart stops, we start.

Aren't you going to

help me practice, Dad?

Oh, is that today?

You already changed it

from yesterday.

But I've already got

the driving range booked.

Don't other dads take their kids

to the driving range?

No.

No, they don't.

Honey, honey.

Please don't play

baseball by yourself.

It makes you look Ionely.

Now, I'm going over to meet

our new neighbors.

But you said you already

met the neighbors.

Timmy, I thought

you were on my side.

Give it here.

Come on, stupid. Throw it.

It's a baseball.

You throw it.

You throw like a girl.

Did it again.

It's so dumb.

Ow!

What are you doing?

It wasn't me.

You shot me with a B.B. Gun.

Get him!

So, where do you want

to get shot?

Head shot, Roy.

That's the first smart thing

you've said all day.

- Roy!

- Leave me alone!

Ow, my arm.

My arm.

Stay away from me.

Stop, zombie! Stop!

Let's get out of here.

And that loser Stan,

I thought he was

going to pee himself.

Crying like a sucky baby.

They sure won't

pick on me again...

at least not when you're around.

What?

Do you want to play?

Okay.

We should get a name for you

before Mom does.

I know.

How about Fido?

Nice catch, Fido.

Well, if you're not going to catch it,

you got to go fetch it.

Go get it, boy.

Come on, boy.

You're disgusting.

Why don't you go home

and get some clothes on?

If your mother could see you now.

Can't bear to look at you.

You rotten zombie!

You nearly scared me half to death.

Stop that!

You're spoiling my quiet time!

Fido?

Hello?

Oh, jeez.

Fido!

Stupid collar.

That's Mrs. Henderson.

What am I supposed

to tell Mom and Dad?

You're not supposed to

even be off your leash.

Dad's going to kill me.

Come on.

I got to get you cleaned up.

Hi, Cindy.

My mom and your mom

think we should be friends.

Oh.

Sorry.

That's okay. I don't mind.

Well, bye.

You're not allowed to have a zombie

without a leash.

You're a kid.

I don't care about

stupid Zomcon rules.

Here comes my dad,

and he sure cares.

- Hello, Tommy.

- It's Timmy.

Right you are, sweetheart.

Is that blood on your zombie?

Uh, it was a nosebleed.

Well, that's not a fresh zombie.

Only fresh zombies bleed, son.

I meant my nose.

How did blood from your nose

get on to your zombie, then?

I wiped it there.

Daddy, can we go now?

I can't be late for

my first ballet class.

All right, princess.

Get in. Come on.

Okay. Bye, Timmy.

I hate ballet.

I think we're in trouble, boy.

Hmm.

Heart attack, eh?

My grandpa had a heart attack.

You're not so bad, are you, boy?

Too bad you had to go

and eat Mrs. Henderson.

- I don't even want to ask.

- He got dirty.

And how on earth did he get dirty?

We were just in the park...

What were you doing

in the park with the zombie?

You stupid zombie.

Look at what you've done.

I'll never get it cleaned up in time,

and in your father's garage!

You're not allowed in here.

You know that, Timmy.

Mom, when we were

in the park...

Timmy, are you listening to me?

Your father is going to

send the zombie back.

No, Dad always does

what you say.

No, not this time.

Not with a zombie.

And then what are

people going to say?

They're going to say

that the Robinsons are strange,

and they're going to be right.

It's nothing, Mom.

We'll clean this mess up.

Dad won't even know.

I promise.

What was so important that

you needed to tell me, Timmy?

Um, it's Fido.

He protected me

from the bullies.

Fido? Who's Fido?

Fido.

What kind of

a stupid name is Fido?

Who names their zombie, anyway?

Lots of people name

their zombies.

Mr. Theopolis has a name for his.

I bet he does.

At any rate,

zombies don't have heart attacks.

No, I mean before,

when he was alive.

That's what killed him,

like Grandpa.

What...

You know you're not

supposed to talk about your grandfather.

Sorry.

I forgot.

Well, that's quite a thing to forget.

And she's missing since this morning?

Well, she's always

wandering off on her own.

I'm sure she'll turn up.

Mr. Henderson should have put her

in a retirement home years ago.

Really, Bill!

What would Francis do without her?

He'd be all alone.

Those homes are very comfortable

and... secure.

They're only secure because

they use the old prison.

Well... she is over 65, Helen,

and old people can't be trusted.

Isn't that right?

Yeah, we had a lot of trouble

with old people during the war.

Jonathan, please.

He never gets tired of talking about

that dreadful war.

You must have been, what, 10?

Uh... 11.

Any kills?

Just... one.

Someone close to home?

It was his father.

But you're fine now, aren't you, honey?

Yep.

Well, you did what

you had to, Robinson.

It's a terrible thing,

the Zombie War.

Families having to kill their own.

Never lose sight of that.

I'd take Dee Dee's head off

in a second if I had to.

He always says that.

Don't let 'em get too close.

It makes it harder to pull the trigger.

Well, that went well.

What is it, Timmy?

I just hope a zombie

didn't get Mrs. Henderson.

What a thing to say.

Well, what if somebody's

zombie did attack her?

What then?

Well, we all remember

what happened to the Johnsons

when their zombie

ate those Christmas carolers.

Did Zomcon really chuck them

into the Wild Zone?

That's probably how

the Bottoms got their house.

Bill.

Let's just say there's a very good reason

we don't have prisons anymore.

Bill.

Well, Helen,

he's gotta learn someday.

Can't keep denying it.

Timmy, I think it's nice that you're

caring so much about Mrs. Henderson.

But I think she's gonna be just fine.

Come here.

Come on! Come on!

Come on. No more mistakes

on Daddy's rug.

No, no, no. We're not going anywhere

until you do your business.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes