Fido Page #3

Spike, come here.

You're being a naughty boy

tonight, huh?

Why are you being such a naughty boy

tonight, huh?

Oh, no.

Stay away, Mrs. Henderson.

Sorry, Mrs. Henderson.

You weren't very nice,

Mrs. Henderson.

But I'm really sorry you're dead.

Now you're in a garden.

You always liked plants.

So I hope that's okay.

Shh. You'll wake up

Mom and Dad.

Fido?

Oh, no. Your collar.

Hey, Timmy?

Zombie troubles?

Okay.

Now, Tammy.

All right.

Okay.

It's okay, boy.

Hey!

You trying to get yourself killed?

No.

Let me tell you something.

I've had some pretty

close calls with my Tammy.

Lookee here.

You want that?

Not the teeth, Tammy.

Not the teeth, Tammy.

Good girl.

She looks good for a zombie.

Same as the day I met her.

She was shopping in the grocery store

for candy corn with her mom.

Had some kind of

a brain aneurysm.

They slapped a collar on her before

she even hit the floor.

Got her before there was

any decomposition.

Where'd you get all this stuff?

Part of my severance package

when I quit Zomcon.

Hey!

Will you look at that?

Watch this.

Here you go, Sparky.

You used to be a smoker, boy?

Old habits die hard.

You wanna rip

my face off, don't you.

Oh, yes.

You wanna eat me for dinner.

How come zombies wanna eat people?

You know...

I don't know.

Geiger used to say it was their way

of trying to come back to life.

Would that work?

Not a chance.

He was a strange bird, Geiger.

I think that when

his wife went zombie,

he couldn't stand the thought

of losing her.

That's why he invented the collar

in the first place.

Okay.

Go ahead, Tammy.

Now...

not a word of this to anyone.

Not your mom, not your dad.

This will be our little secret...

or it's free lawn mowing for a year.

Yes, sir.

Much better. There you go.

Is that Dad's suit?

Yes.

And we don't need to

mention it to your father.

He won't even notice.

You look great, boy.

Not bad at all.

Hurry, your father's waiting.

Do we have to go?

These Sunday drives are

very important to your father.

How would it look if we didn't

go together as a family?

But it's weird.

We never know anybody.

Well, maybe this time we will.

Oh, I love this park.

It's so peaceful.

Come here, puppy.

Come on.

Come have some cheese.

Have some cheese.

They seem, in the view

of the foolish, to be dead.

And their passing away

was part of affliction,

and their going forth

from us utter destruction.

But they are in peace.

For if before men indeed

they be punished...

Is that zombie wearing my suit?

What would you suggest, Bill?

That I buy him a new one?

Why didn't you leave him

the way he was?

They way he was dressed?

Come on, Bill.

Head coffin, please.

Head coffin.

This guy's not coming back,

you can bet on that.

Shh.

Look. This is the best part.

Emmitt Mitchell,

from dust have you come

and to dust shall you return...

...and from dust shall

you not be resurrected.

So if a person dies

and becomes a zombie,

then they're not really dead.

No, not really.

Well...

it's like being in purgatory

before going to heaven.

What is your father doing?

So... zombies are sinners?

L... I suppose

we're all sinners, honey.

But God sees

the good in everyone.

God loves zombies, too?

Even when they kill?

Well, l... I think zombies kill

because it's their nature.

So then it's not their fault.

No, not really.

What are you so happy about?

I was just gonna

tell you something.

You know what Herman

the gravedigger just told me?

- Bill, Timmy was...

- Only 10% of people get funerals.

Most become zombies.

Can you believe that?

Well, they are expensive.

I'd rather be a zombie than dead.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hold on there!

Timmy is making observations

about the world.

I think it's healthy.

Observation about the world?

He's a kid.

What does he know?

He knows a lot.

At least he's not

obsessed with funerals.

Better than focusing

on walking corpses...

who should be buried...

without their heads.

Hey!

We're all getting funerals.

All three of us!

Bill, get your own funeral.

Timmy and I are going zombie.

Would you look at that?

Zomcon at the Hendersons'.

I wonder why they're

taking Francis away.

He probably gave her

an illegal funeral...

without a permit.

Is that bad?

Oh, yes.

Oh, dear!

This is how it always starts.

Oh, Bill.

One wild zombie, Helen.

That's all it takes.

Hey, that's the schoolteacher.

Any sign of the old lady?

God, I hate old people!

I'll be right back.

It's just water, boy.

Come on!

You missed a spot.

Hi, boys.

Hi, Mom.

I thought you two might be thirsty.

Timmy! Timmy!

Don't be cruel.

Timmy!

What's going on?

I was just bringing

the boys something to drink.

Zombies don't drink, Helen.

Yes, they can, Bill.

They just don't have to.

We can pretend, can't we?

It doesn't hurt anybody, does it?

Hey!

Give me that.

This is detail work.

It needs to be done delicately

if you're gonna protect the finish.

That's why they call it

"a man's job."

Flesh-eating maniacs

need not apply.

Hey, Helen.

Floyd.

Hey, get a move on, Robinson.

Um...

Why don't you...

stay with us today,

and we can be a family?

Besides, you don't even like Floyd.

You told me yourself.

I said Floyd cheats at golf.

I didn't say I didn't like him.

Bill...

I have a secret to tell you.

You... You're all wet, Helen.

I only had one rule.

Which rule was that?

Very funny, mister.

Get this zombie chained up.

Now!

Bye, honey!

Now what is that?

This is her walker... thingy, sir.

At least that's what our witnesses say.

We caught these two in the bushes

firing their.22s at the wild zombies.

The little one?

Shot Dougie in the leg.

Get that out of sight, will ya?

It's a boot. Put it back.

So let me get this straight.

You're saying that the Robinson zombie

tried to eat you

and then moved on

to Mrs. Henderson.

Is that right?

Yes, sir.

Well, I don't see any bite marks.

Well, he actually didn't

try to bite us.

Shut up, Stan!

He broke my arm.

Do you know what I think?

I think that you shot the old lady

just like, uh...

just like you shot

Dougie over there.

No way! It's all

Timmy Robinson's fault.

You got nothing

to worry about now, boy.

Dad loves ya!

Come on!

They'll never split us up, Fido! Ever!

Whoo!

Come on, boy!

That was fun, boy.

Did you like swimming?

You know,

I didn't even know you could swim.

We gotta get you back

before Dad comes home.

Don't do anything, boy.

"Boy"?

Let's just shoot him now, Roy.

Nah. Let's stick to the plan.

What are you doing?

We're gonna be heroes.

What... What are you

talking about?

We know your zombie

killed the old lady.

We told Bottoms, and he's gonna send

your whole family to the Wild Zone.

- What?

- Shut up, Stan!

He would have believed us, too,

if you'd let me do the talking.

- You're the one who blew it.

- Shut up! You're wrecking the fun.

- I'm just saying...

- Shut up!

- Roy, stop telling me...

- Shut up!

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