Fierce Creatures Page #3

- Tell me about the sponsorships.

- What sponsorships?

The ones you told Rod about.

- I made that up.

- Vince, I told--

What are you doing?

I'm getting undressed for sex.

I thought you were in the bedroom.

I was getting us dinner.

You wanna eat first?

Oh, goody-goody. Goody.

Vince, I invited you

here tonight...

to say ''thank you''

for helping me with Rod.

Not to jump in the sack with you.

Whoa, wait, wait--

What is the problem?

I really like you.

Who knows what might've happened?

Oh, you mean if you weren't

going to England tomorrow?

Exactly.

Look, it's all right.

I understand.

- Really?

- Yes.

- You sure you're okay with this?

- Yes.

- Really?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

Thanks.

'Cause I'm going with you.

- What?

- Yes! Surprise!

I talked to Rod, and he said

we could run the zoo together!

Great!

You're not gonna let him

go to Marwood Zoo?

I know it's only 4,000 miles away,

Nev, but it's a start.

Still, it's tough on Willa,

getting landed with the idiot son.

She can manage him.

She's a natural-born corporate killer.

Right this way, Mr. McCain.

- You have the questions?

- Yes.

Back, Nev.

No. No.

No!

You better send a good

book keeper with him.

He would never dare

try to steal again.

Fakin' my signature.

Not after what happened

to him last time.

That's enough. You must be the

intellectuals. What do you wanna know ?

What about the5,000layoffs

if you close down in Chicago?

If any employees were let go, it would

depend on second-quarter growth...

If any employees were let go, it would

depend on second-quarter growth...

because we don't wanna lose anyone

unless it is absolutely necessary.

Weat Octopus are in the business

of job creation.

Currently, we employ more

than 70,000people worldwide.

Sometimes circumstances require

parts of the company to be relocated.

It's inevitable in any business that's

going to face the competition, and--

Scared? Don't worry about Terry.

He wouldn't hurt a fly.

Actually, he would hurt a fly

being a Mexican red knee tarantula...

Brachypelmasmithi, and therefore

particularly partial to flies.

The point is that Terry...

has a bite relatively

harmless to human beings.

Yet you reacted

as though he were fierce...

which he isn't!

Yes, I've always had a bit of a thing

about spiders, actually.

So, if creatures

are thought to be fierce...

they are, ipso facto, fierce!

Sorry, Director.

We need the guns.

- What?

- Animal has escaped. We must catch it.

- We need three, sir.

- Tranquillizer darts?

Gerry's got the blowpipe, sir.

We need the real thing just in case.

- Okay, I'll get one too.

- Don't worry. We can handle this.

Keep back, everybody.

Please, keep back.

- What's going on?

-Just recapturing an animal.

Nothing to worry about.

It's not fierce.

Why have you got the guns then?

Just a precaution. Don't worry.

Everything's under control.

How did the black widow spider

get its name, Mr. Lee?

Because it eats its mate.

We've caught it, ladies and gentlemen,

so we can all relax.

And thank you very much

for your cooperation. Thank you.

Well done, everyone. Well done.

- What is that?

- That is an anteater.

Not too close! He's angry.

- Angry?

- They got wicked tempers, sir.

- Devastate small towns, do they?

- No, not--

- Stop, stop, stop.

- Look at the claws. They're diabolical.

Lotterby, you did not need

three guns to recapture this.

A sharp stick would've sufficed.

A sharp stick would've sufficed.

A sharp stick?

Believe you me, sir, his jaws--

It's an anteater, not a man-eater.

What would you be saying

if he jumped into that pram?

- What would you say to the child's mum?

- I'd be saying...

'' Madam, you were the victim of

an eight billion-to-one chance...

a leaping anteater, an evolutionary

mutant previously unknown to science.''

- They climb like monkeys.

- Will you be quiet?

Just get this fluffy toy

back in its enclosure...

and stop insulting my intelligence!

The tsetse fly, Muscidaeglossina.

- Ten blood-sucking millimeters long.

- Are you all right?

- One of the major disease carriers.

- I'm fine. I'll be okay.

- Is she hurt?

- Little local difficulty.

- She took a liberty with a bandicoot.

- A bandicoot?

- My God!

- It's just a flesh wound.

- A few stitches, I'll be back at work.

- Are you sure?

Don't worry. It's part of the job

with the bandicoots.

-Just be careful of those bandicoots.

- The bandicoots.

- Bandicoots, right.

- Pity about Pip's leg.

- But it's good for the zoo, isn't it?

- What?

- All this fierceness.

- What's that?

-Just a bite, sir.

- From what?

- What's going on now?

- It's the sea lions, sir.

Sea lions? What?

Are they attacking someone?

Thank you! Everything's fine.

Nothing to worry about.

Nice crowds today, Director.

Yes, yes, very good.

And she's a fully trained

telephone engineer.

- Really?

- Yes.

I didn't know that.

Enjoying the show?

- Stunning creatures, sea lions.

- Wonderful plumage.

Lovely movers, too,

considering the flippers.

God at His best, I'd say.

-She couldn't do that if it were fierce.

-What?

If it were fierce,

she couldn't go in there with them.

I'm 1 00% behind the

Fierce Animals Policy.

But in a case of animals like that,

the attendances speak for themselves.

I understand the purpose of the policy

is to increase attendances.

But where attendances are already high

for non-fierce animals...

I would've thought there'd be

an exception to the general rule.

Then there's the African

migratory locust--

Perfect.

Stay.

It's typical, isn't it,

these management types?

No inkling of interest in any

subject other than their own.

- Bit more.

- Not too much. Gotta look real.

Right. Better not do anyone else today

or he might get a bit suspicious.

- Oh, yeah.

- We don't want to make him too fierce.

I have a suggestion.

To make a complete idiot of him...

let's make those wounds

as realistic as possible, shall we?

Open the door!

Something wrong

with the sights on this.

I keep hitting coffee mugs. Right.

I'll see you three in my office,

9:
00 tomorrow morning.

Oh, my God!

Did you know that the anopheles

mosquito kills more people in a year...

than all the wild animals

in Africa in a century?

- Were you shooting more animals?

- No,just culling a few keepers.

Leg better, is it?

Miracle recovery or--

He's just shot a keeper!

Watch out!

- No, I haven't!

- He is in there dying! Look out.

Be quiet! Stop that or I'll--

- Everything under control.

- Oh, my God, he's gone mad!

Nothing to worry about.

Here we are. Yeah.

Right.

Mr. Lee, I'm afraid

there's been an accident.

Of course there has, Lotterby, and I

can promise you, it's the last one.

- What?

- This lady fell, Mr. Lee--

No, surely she's been savaged

by a chipmunk or gored by a gopher...

or disembowelled by a chicken,

hasn't she?

- Come on. Get off. I've had enough.

- What?

- Put that stretcher down, you two.

- I fell.

- She did. Scout's honour.

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