Fierce Creatures Page #8

- The cupboard?

- He was too.

- It's true.

- I want your cage cleared by 9:00!

- What did he say?

- I'd like to make five points.

- In a moment.

One:
This zoo provides

a invaluable amenity.

- If we didn't have the 20%...

- Any attempt to close it down--

by the end of the month--

- Bugsy, please!

- Shut up! I can't think!

- Not to mention mass protests--

- Hey! Yo!

Mouth-boy! Zip it!

Not to mention

mass protests--

My life is falling apart.

He will not shut up!

- Financial markets of the world--

- Shut up!

Second:
In the conservation view,

there'd be considerable disruption--

I don't believe it.

I want to have a private word with

Vince while you're getting the police.

Okay, Rod.

So you're gonna close the zoo?

Too right. It's way under the 20%.

You realize you're going

to have to shoot the animals.

- So?

- Well, this is England, mate.

We'll get some tame vet to say

they've caught some disgusting disease.

- Pity this isn't Texas.

- Why?

We could charge people

to do it for us.

Fifthly:
May I remind you

it takes at least 1 8 months...

to decommission a zoological

facility of this kind.

- Shut up or I'll shoot!

- My God! He's gone mad.

What's this, the latest

Harvard Business School technique?

Or merely an extension

of your policy of consultation?

- You would rather talk than live?

- You won't shoot me.

- I will!

- Not with a 7.65 Baretta .34.

- Oh, really? Why not?

- The safety catch is still on.

Grab him!

Get the gun, get the gun!

What in bloody hell's

going on here?

Dad! You look great!

How ya doin'?

Clear off, you freaks!

- Who in bloody hell are you?

- This is Rollo Lee.

Mr. McCain. I'd like to make

five points about the zoo.

- Go away.

- Point one:
The zoo--

- You've been stealing from me again.

- Stealing?

- My God, I've caught you red-handed.

- Oh, that!

I was just putting that back.

I borrowed that--

- Neville's gone to the police.

- What?

- You're going to jail, Vince.

- Oh, no! Not again!

Mr. McCain, Vince'll put the money back.

I promise.

Sorry, Willa, but I'm gonna

have to close the zoo too.

What? Why? We're up to 20%!

- No, you're not.

- Oh, we are! We are with this!

- Are you sure?

- I swear it.

Nearly 25.

All right, I'll leave it open.

But don't let it drop.

Say you won't have me arrested

or I'll kill you.

- You won't shoot me.

- Oh, yes, I will.

You haven't got the guts

to shoot your own father.

Yes, I do! Get back!

Go on then.

Go on, you spineless twat!

See?

You're no son of mine.

Oh, yeah, good idea!

Give us all a good laugh,

you wuss!

I am not a wuss!

Wuss, wuss, wuss, wuss, wuss!

- Oh, God, I hate you.

- I hate you!

- Gimme that gun.

- It's all right. It's a Baretta .34--

You're fired.

Is he dead?

Oh, great.

Terrific. He decides to keep

the zoo open, so you kill him.

Brilliant. Well done.

Thank you so much, especially for

shooting him right between the eyes...

so that it doesn't

look like an accident...

because the people at Octopus will know

he was coming here to close us down.

So there's our motive

for murdering him. Stunning.

Well, Mr. Brain of Britain,

what are we going to tell the police...

who are, of course,

already on their way here?

Another example

of the thoroughness of your plan.

Go on. I'm all ears.

What do you suggest we do

with the dead body...

of the incredibly famous man...

who you have just assassinated?

Sorry, I didn't quite catch it.

What?

What was it?

Pop him in the blender?

I know he's dead!

I did notice!

Well-- What?

Give it, give it, give it...

before you shoot somebody else!

What are you doing?

- I'm freezing him.

- Why?

He's gotta be cryogenically

frozen until they find a cure!

- A cure?

- Yeah.

- He has a bullet in the brain.

- Well, get more ice!

Vince, there is no cure

for a bullet in the brain.

It is very fatal.

- You mean he's dead?

- Yes.

- And he's not coming back?

- No. I'm sorry.

I'm so happy!

You're dead!

You're dead!

You're dead!

You big, fat bastard!

Yes, Bugsy!

High five! Low five!

I love ya!

Life begins!

So what are we gonna do?

I never have to listen

to you again, do I?

With your, ''You're no son of mine,

you miserable little worm.

You've been a disappointment

to me since the day...

your mother

farted you out of her womb.''

Good idea!

I need something to glue

the mustache down with.

I need things for the hair.

- Neville, that's good, mate.

- That's terrible.

Oh, no, those eyebrows are terrible.

- Squint your eyes together.

- Like that?

- Right like that. Hold that.

- Careful!

- Glasses!

- Oh, yeah, get the glasses.

- Give me cotton balls.

- Hello, Inspector.

Let's compare them.

Come on.

Mr. McCain looks paler-- much.

- What do you think?

- He's dead, you idiot.

- Oh, my God, it's not going to work.

- Oh, yes, it will.

- No, no, no. We shall all go to jail.

- It's gonna go like clockwork.

Hello, Neville.

Hello, Inspector.

- That's very good!

- Do you have the will?

- Very good indeed.

- It's very short.

Yeah. The simpler it is,

the more watertight.

So we're going to set the zoo up

as a trust-- that's for all of us--

and everything else goes to

''my son Vincent McCain, absolutely.''

- You mean, we get the zoo?

- Yeah.

Let's get this body

up to my office. Let's go!

- I don't think this is fair.

- Fair?

- You get to run the zoo with Willa.

- Yes.

Well, I think I love her.

- What?

- I love Willa.

No, I love her.

No, I love her.

- I love her.

- I love Willa!

Look, I get Willa,

you get seven billion dollars.

- Right. Right, okay.

- There's the gun.

Here we go.

Come along, come along.

We haven't got much time.

- I'm worried about fooling Neville.

- Neville's gonna be tough.

- Oh, my God!

- Hello, Willa.

Hello, Neville! Hello!

Hello, Neville. Excuse me, I'm going

to go have a pee. I'll be right there.

- Right, boss.

- Hi! Great to see you.

Hello. Willa Weston.

Chief Superintendent Masefield,

Sgt. Scott and Sgt. Irving.

- Rod will be with you in a moment.

- I'll be a moment.

Power!

Gets 'em every time.

Oh, yeah. That's better.

Thank you, my dear.

Hello, Neville.

Hello, Inspector.

I'd like to introduce you

to Inspector Masefield.

G'day. Good on ya.

- Good outfit.

- It's an honour to meet you, Mr. McCain.

Well, goody.

Hello, Neville.

- Hello, Rod.

- Hello, Nev.

- Have you spoken to Vince?

- Yes, I have.

- Shall we arrest him now, sir?

- No, that won't be necessary.

Vince and I have had a long talk.

Between ourselves,

it was quite emotional.

You haven't killed him,

have you, Rod?

Nobody's killed anybody!

Moron! No, I mean...

that we've had a reconciliation.

- Isn't it wonderful?

- A reconciliation?

That's right, Neville.

Back, Neville.

- So you're not pressing charges?

- On the contrary, Inspector.

Not at all.

But I would like your assistance.

I've just made out a new will

and I'd like you to witness it.

- A new will?

- Bend down, Neville.

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