Fierce People Page #2

- I'm not sure what mine is yet.

Mom! Look at that.

I'll stop giving you sh*t about

Osborne if you put that one on.

Come on, please!

And I'll put that tallyho outfit on...

and we can parade around

with that stuffed dog thing.

- The color matches your eyes.

- Hi!

Her eyes are the color of celery?

- How you doing, Liz?

- You know, one day at a time.

That's what they say, right?

This is my son, Finn.

And this is Dr. Leffler.

You can call me Dick.

Nice to meet you, Dr. Dick.

I left a message on your machine...

see if you wanted a lift

to tomorrow's nooner.

- I'd like that.

- Great. Till then.

See ya.

Mom? You're allowed to date Dr. Dick

while you're sleeping with Osborne?

His name is Dr. Leffler.

I met him at AA.

You're not supposed to know that

because it's anonymous.

I'm not dating him. And cut it out

about me screwing Osborne!

You think it's a good idea,

sleeping with Osborne's doctor?

Jesus, Finn!

I didn't mind my mother doing Osborne.

I mean, she's done worse.

I just didn't like her thinking

that she was fooling me.

Bryce! Open up this door.

Bryce!

Open this door immediately!

I know that you're in there.

Coco, if you wanna hide from me...

you should make less noise

when you're rutting!

- What are you doing?

- Nothing.

If you wanna keep your job, you

should spend less time eavesdropping.

I don't work for you.

- What's your name?

- Finn Earl.

Right, the famous doctor's son.

Bryce, this is rude!

You already stood me up for tennis!

We're gonna be late to see your father!

I don't know

what he sees in that girl.

She claims to be a Nigerian princess.

But people claim to be all sorts

of things they're not these days.

Don't they?

Honor bright.

Are they making faces

behind my back?

No.

Get back!

No Bryce, no Coco.

My thanks, young squire.

And your name is, sir?

- Finn.

- Finn!

You're a gentleman and a scholar,

and a most gifted bullshitter.

Thank you. Where is

your grandfather's house?

Walk through those big firs, stay

on the path and you can't miss it.

- Got it. Thanks.

- Good day.

- Bye, Finn.

- Bye.

You smoke pot with my girlfriend

again, you're dead.

Now get the f*** out of here.

F***!

Sh*t!

Sh*t!

Oh, man!

Oh, God!

I'm so sick of you bastards

shooting our deer!

I didn't do anything to your deer!

- Get it off me now!

- Sh*t.

Sh*t!

You're lucky you didn't hit a tendon.

How did you catch your foot?

I landed on a tin can.

- I don't like to be lied to.

- It's the truth, I swear.

- What are you guys doing here?

- We were upstairs visiting your father.

- What has my daughter done to you?

- Nothing. She helped me.

- If I were you, Finn, I'd sue us.

- Bryce, this is not funny.

I got here as quick as I could!

Lambie!

- Mom, I'm fine.

- What did you do?

- Nothing, nothing. Stop.

- Are you all right?

Don't freak out.

I'm fine.

I'm sorry, I have no insurance.

She doesn't have to worry about

the bill. Finn and I are old friends.

- You raised a gentleman

and a scholar. - Thank you!

Where are we going?

Dad, I would like you

to meet Mr. Finn Earl.

What's wrong with him?

He's in a coma.

Gates says it was a stray bullet.

F***ing poachers will shoot

anything that moves.

You don't like me putting up

the traps, dad...

but somebody's gotta stop 'em.

Leffler says he can't hear

what I'm saying.

Do you think it's weird...

that I talk to my dad if I

know he can't hear me?

I've never even seen my dad

and I write him letters all the time.

He always likes meeting my friends.

We are friends, right?

You don't hold the whole trap thing

against me, do you?

No. I'm actually kinda glad

it happened.

I mean, you know...

Me, too.

Maya seems like a nice girl.

Yeah. She's okay.

She invited you to her birthday party?

No. Are you invited?

Nope.

Adolescence is a time of indulgence

for the girls.

What's the chivalrous thing to do

when you make out with a girl...

with her comatose father laying

next to you like a big root vegetable?

I knew I should call her.

But what do I say?

"Hi. I like kissing you.

Thanks for letting me touch

your boob. Can I do it again?"

Finn!

Finn?

Could I have some privacy, please?

I'm trying to make a phone call.

- Okay, I'll tell Maya Langley

to beat it. - What?

Shoot!

Damnit!

Shut up!

- I just Windexed that!

- Yeah, well, too bad.

- Hi.

- Hi.

I got tired of waiting

for you to call me.

I don't know if I should let

my sister see that, Finn.

That's a film my dad made...

- on his first trip to South America.

- Your father's Fox Blanchard?

I read him in my anthro class

at Harvard. Maya...

do you realize this man's father

is the Elvis of anthropology?

- Well, I guess I do now.

- It's movie time.

- What is that?

- A tapir.

It's a small hog pig-like animal.

How are they gonna eat all that?

After a feast, the women

hide the leftovers in their vaginas.

- That's disgusting!

- Fantastic!

God, your dad is so cool.

You look like him.

I was gonna spend the summer

doing field work.

I would kill to be doing that

with your father.

- Why don't you go?

- I got busted.

- What for?

- Coke.

Very cool. I'm impressed, Finn.

My mother thought living in Vlyvalle

would be a wholesome influence for me.

I think the Ishkanani

have it all figured out.

What do you mean?

It's f***, kill.

Unlike us domesticated creatures,

they like something, they f*** it.

If they don't, they kill it.

- Do you always have to say "f***"?

- Virgins fall into two categories.

- Finn, you paying attention?

- Yeah.

They either love the F word

and they don't wanna do it...

or they hate the F word

and they're dying to do it.

- Cut it out!

- Let's watch it backwards.

Stop it!

F***.

Kill.

F***.

Kill.

F***.

Kill.

F***.

Kill.

- Want me to see if I can get you in?

- Maya invited you!

You want me to speak to her?

For me?

Oh, no. That's not likely.

Then I guess I should

throw this away then.

- Are you serious?

- Serious.

- Oh, really!

- Really.

My foot!

So that's Osborne's new super drug.

I wonder if she charges the old goat

by the hour or by the orgasm.

- You know, Mom?

- What?

Since you've gotten sober,

you've gotten much better looking.

- It's hardly the time to put me down.

- No, I'm serious! Really!

- Okay. Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- I've gotta have a drink.

- No, you don't have to have...

- Just a little get-through. Relax.

- You don't have...

- Just to calm my nerves.

- Liz!

- Liz...

- Hi!

- I've been looking everywhere for you.

- I'm right here.

- You look amazing.

- Thank you.

- I want you to meet some friends.

- Okay. All right.

I go to the doctor. I feel like I got

an elephant standing on my chest.

He says, "There's nothing wrong

with you. Go home. "

So I go to this other doctor,

he gives me antibiotics.

- He's fantastic. I mean I feel...

- What?

What the hell is that?

Who did that?

I like the way you eat shrimp.

Marcus Gates, son of a black man.

Finn Earl.

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