Finding Amanda Page #5

See if my mom's up.

Pot.

This pot is terrible.

It's all stems and seeds.

Link's a good guy, but that

stuff in 'Nam? Never happened.

I don't even think

it's pot.

- Might be marjoram.

- When he was 15,

he got drunk one night and a train

ran him over and cut him in half.

Can you imagine that?

Getting cut in half

by a train?

That would suck.

Beats getting cut

in thirds.

- What did you get?

- Oh, it's not for me.

I have this friend,

she's an addict

and she got busted

a couple times,

so I buy for her.

A little less every other week.

- Not for you?

- I think I just said that.

We have to make

one more stop.

Isn't Kyoki great?

She's, like, the best

scrabble player ever.

What do you want

for our dinner?

- What?

- Tomorrow night.

- Uh, is chicken okay?

- Oh, yeah, chicken's fine.

- I see a pretty lady.

- Amanda!

- Hi, cutie.

- Special delivery.

Life saver.

Totally serious.

- What's on your ass?

- Oh, I know. Isn't it awful?

I'm nairing my butt.

Nair-- the hair removal sh*t.

- Yeah.

- I came in tonight,

looked in the mirror.

There was this long, huge hair

growing out of the side of my ass.

- Gross.

- I know!

I started thinking,

"I can see that one."

Who knows how many more

there are back there?

I didn't want to risk it.

I'm nairing the whole thing.

- Oh.

- Howdy.

- Hello, hi.

- Trick?

- My uncle.

- Oh. Sweet.

- This is Whisper.

- Hello, Whisper.

- Emory.

- Oh, is Emory your real name?

No.

I love this girl.

She is so great.

- I'm blushing.

- I mean it.

Most of these girls,

they're just total c*nts.

You want to smash their heads

in with a f***ing rock.

Makes me sick thinking

about you with that guy.

Greg's nice.

Honey, nothing on this planet

with a cock attached to it is nice!

Watch your language,

lady.

- Sorry.

- That's okay.

I'm still back on

that "c*nts and rocks."

- Saw B.V.

- I know!

- Looking good.

- He's gotten even bigger than before!

I didn't think

it was possible.

- It's disgusting!

- He's huge.

He picked me up once...

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

Club soda. Why don't you

just kill yourself?

It's next on my list.

- What?

- I can't get over it.

- The hooker thing.

- Are you okay?

I have a home for

the first time in my life.

You had a home when

you were a kid.

My parents split and I went

to go live with my dad

and he married Janine,

who's this total psychotic

b*tch Nazi vegan who hates me.

So then I went to go live

with my mom,

- and she married Larry.

- Well, Larry's okay.

Well, okay, go on.

Yeah. And then I went to

go back and live with my dad

and that sucked, and then his brother

started raping me, which really sucked.

- Raping you?

- Whoa, there's a table.

- Here-- we can sit down.

- Raping you?

Your-- your father's

- your father's brother raped you?

Uh, my Uncle Bobby?

Yeah.

He raped you?

Yeah, for, like,

eight months.

Jesus.

It's old news.

I thought I was

a shitty uncle.

Look,

it doesn't matter.

I'm here now,

I'm happy.

And I have

the perfect home.

Yeah, but look what

you have to do to get it.

It doesn't matter. I mean, the

minute I walk through that door,

all the sadness and all

the bullshit stays outside.

And everybody needs that.

You know, after a day of doing whatever

horrible, awful thing you got to do

to make money, you need

a place to go

where it's quiet and you can

just remember who you really are.

And the terrible, awful thing you do--

you don't have any options?

Yeah. Yeah, sure, I could

go back to IHOP.

I could work there for

a whole month, with overtime,

or I could do eight or

nine guys over a weekend

And make the exact

same amount.

What would you do?

Uh, eight guys, fine.

More than that,

I would worry I was in it for

something more than the money.

You really don't

feel exploited?

All I know is,

after 20 minutes--

usually less,

I got it all:
I got their money,

I got their gratitude.

So what if I have to let them

jizz on my tits to get it?

What?

It's just not every uncle

who gets to hear his niece

say "jizz" and "tits"

in the same sentence.

I-- I need a little air.

So listen, Amanda,

the reason I'm in town--

your mom and your aunt

asked me to come

because they're

worried about you.

They're thinking maybe you have

a drug problem or something.

I don't.

Okay.

There's a rehab

place in Malibu--

It's called

the Clark-something Center.

The Clark-- Clark Baron.

Yeah, it's Clark Baron.

You see it in

"people" magazine?

Well, we got you a room there

with a view of the canyon--

What are you laughing at?

This is perfect.

You telling me

to go to rehab?

Why is that so strange?

Hello, my mom and your wife

are sisters. They talk.

I know about

your gambling problem

and your drinking problem

and your drug problem.

Well, those are not issues

for me anymore.

I know all about you puking at

the Emmy's a couple years ago,

and how you lost $150,000 in

three days at the racetrack.

She's talking about somebody else.

Do you have any ketchup for these?

And how you got fired

from that hit show

because you were so f***in'

loaded the whole time.

Hello? You're, like,

- I'm 43.

- And you can't carry a checkbook

Or credit cards?

I mean, what's with that?

My choice.

My therapist's choice,

actually.

Because you can't

control yourself.

Whenever you need money or a check,

you have to ask Aunt Lorraine for it?

- That must suck.

- Okay, my life is f***ed up.

But it took me

Look at you--

you're 20 years old.

At this rate, by the time

you're my age,

you won't be my age

because you'll be dead.

I don't need rehab.

I take Extacy, but

that's just for my work,

to get in the mood,

you know? But...

- Are you hooked on it?

- No.

Unlike you, I can take something and

not become instantly addicted to it.

I'm not an addict.

I'm in recovery.

You're an addict.

- I'm getting help.

- Because you're an addict.

I'm not an addict.

- What is that?

- Extacy.

I don't want it.

No no no,

it's not for you.

I just want you to

hold onto it for me.

No!

Because you can't.

Because you know,

sooner or later,

probably sooner,

you're gonna wind up

taking it. Right?

you're so goddamned smart.

Remember, don't take it.

I'm gonna want it back.

# Mr. Rooster #

# don't wake me up

too early #

# we talked all night,

my girlie and me #

# Mr. Rooster #

# don't start no

trouble brewing #

# no cock-a-doodle

dooing #

# or red eyes, see #

# how about 8:
00 o'clock? #

- # don't try it #

- # 9:
00 o'clock? #

- # no, don't you dare #

- # 10:
00 o'clock? #

- # I'll start a riot #

- # noon? #

- hello?

Did I wake you?

- Actually, no.

- Are you sure?

Yep, definitely.

I found Amanda.

She's at that place--

the Inca.

- The Aztec.

- Right.

- Is she really hooking?

- Yep, she really is.

Oh, God.

Did you talk to her

about rehab?

She's not interested.

Taylor, you have to

get her out of there.

Well, I'm having dinner

with her tomorrow night--

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