Fired Up Page #2

---

you ladies cheer out there...

...and we really hope

that you do good.

Yeah, do us proud, you know. Beat

the skirts off those 300 other girls.

And guys? Are there guys there?

Do guys go?

- What about guys?

- It's a good question.

There's girls and guys that go.

I don't know if guys-

Yes. The good teams are all co-ed.

That's interesting. I just didn't

know that. I was just pondering.

Carly, come here. We're working on

a new mount Bianca came up with.

- Yeah!

- Coming.

I'm gonna walk away backwards,

so you guys don't talk about my ass.

Man, she's got nice lumps.

Either one of us ever hit that?

I don't think so. I think

she respects herself too much.

Right.

Who wants to deal with that drama?

So, what do you think

about cheer camp?

- What do you mean, what do I think?

- Let's go.

- We're not cheerleaders.

- We're athletes, we can do anything.

They don't just let anybody go.

You've gotta be part of a squad.

Let's join a squad.

How hard can this be?

A couple of flips, a pyramid.

Black sheep

Three hundred honeys

on our biscuits.

- What about football camp?

- Screw football.

The only reason we started playing

was to pull chicks.

You can't honestly tell me you enjoy

running in blazing hot pads...

...trying to catch a pass two seconds

before some 2000-pound mongoloid...

- ... crashes into your Nutter Butters.

- El Paso, here we come.

Not if it comes to us first!

Oh, sh*t.

- I'm on fire.

- Mookie!

- Water, water, water.

- I'll put you out.

I'm a hero.

Screw football. Let's go cheer.

Shawny Shawn!

We need to convince

the squad they need us.

- Not gonna be easy.

- That's why we go to Poppy.

- I wish there was another way.

- There's not.

- But I wish there was.

- But there's not. We're here.

- I wish we weren't.

- But we are.

Hi, sis.

Why am I looking at you? Speak.

Poppy, you're getting so big now.

How old are you?

I'm 60. Can we get past

the small talk?

The only time you come to see me

is when you need something.

What? Tug mags?

Mike's Hard Lemonade?

- Another ride to the clinic?

- Poppy.

No. We wanna go to that

cheerleading camp you're going to.

Since you're killing on the JV squad

and so advanced beyond your years...

...we thought you'd get us

up to speed.

Hey, buddy,

you can piss on my face...

...just don't tell me it's raining.

You guys have been through

every girl at your school...

...and you're looking

for fresh muff.

Some itchy-itchy-nah-nah.

Wall-to-wall carpet.

Okay, seriously, how old are you?

Tell you what, I'll teach you

some basic cheerleader moves.

High V's, low V's,

touchdown, baskets.

Don't the guys just throw

the girls up and then catch them?

Pretty much. But I'll let you practice

on me and tell you what they're called.

In exchange, I get Shawn's room.

- No.

- Done.

Those are my terms.

- We'll take them.

- Dude, I've got my own bathroom.

Dude, after cheer camp, you won't

even need your own bathroom.

What? What does that even mean?

Poppy, you got yourself a deal.

Teach us, we go see Carly.

- Wrong, Gossip Girl.

- What?

Carly's not one of your humpety-hump

football groupies.

She's too smart to buy that you guys

wanna be cheerleaders.

Okay, so, what's the play?

- Here she comes, here she comes.

- Go, go. Get up there.

Oh, rats.

- We got our Frisbee stuck.

- How are we gonna get it down?

- Go space shuttle.

- That's what I'm thinking.

Good idea.

- Ready?

- Okay.

One, two, three, four, five, six

Seven, grab, drop, catch

- Great job.

- Go, buddy.

Do they always get

so excited like that?

Haven't you ever seen them

do their touchdown dances?

I mean, they flip all over the place.

You'd think they were cheerleaders.

- No.

- You guys really like cheering?

That wasn't cheering,

just goofing around.

You nailed a backward sponge

and go cradle.

No. We threw my sister up in the air

to get our Frisbee.

It was either that

or we get three ladders.

Come on, guys.

You love cheering. Don't run from it.

This is a safe place.

We kind of do. It's so much

more athletic than football.

If it were up to us, we'd go

with you ladies to cheer camp.

But we're football meatheads.

We gotta march in lockstep

to what society expects.

Don't tell anyone, okay?

Totally ruin our rep.

- We'll catch you later.

- Have a good summer.

We're gonna go watch

a Bears' game on TV.

Go, Bears

I'm supposed to believe

the biggest jocks in school...

...all along really wanted

to be cheerleaders?

Don't get caught up in the lockstep

of society's expectations.

They tossed Poppy

like 20 feet in the air.

Look, Carly,

we don't have any muscle.

If you really wanna do better this year,

they're our only hope.

Unless you guys wanna try steroids,

which I'm totally open to.

- I'm just saying.

- I don't care. I don't trust those guys.

They're not coming. I'm the captain.

Miss Klingerhoff is the coach.

Let's see what she thinks.

What a fantastic idea.

It's exactly what this squad needs

to just push it over the top.

But Miss Klingerhoff,

they have never done it before.

They don't know any of our cheers,

and, come on, it's Nick and Shawn.

Don't judge a book

by its cover, Carly.

You never really know what a book

is about until you get to page 50.

Fifty?

- Wouldn't guess a page over 40.

- More like 35.

My chickens.

You come here, you.

All right. One down, one to go.

What are we gonna say to Coach

Sh*t-For-Words to get out of football?

What every kid says to get out

of everything he doesn't wanna do.

So not only do I find out yesterday

I'm adopted...

...the people I've called mom and

dad are infertile imposters...

...who bought me outside a meth clinic

for two boxes of Sudafed...

...but I also get

this news dropped on me:

My birth father, Bruce...

...well, he needs a kidney

and I'm the only match.

And apparently Bruce needs it stat.

You need it stat, Bruce? Huh?

I needed a father stat

instead of the stay-at-home dad...

...who showers me with love every

day, this goddamn spermless liar!

So now I gotta be at Kaiser

Permanente tomorrow at 6 a. m.

I know. Bruce couldn't even afford

a real hospital.

Managed care. It's ironic, huh?

Never managed to care for me.

You shitting me?

Are you saying you can't go to camp?

Yeah, but don't make me say it,

coach.

Because it's eating me up inside.

It's eating me up.

Sh*t!

- Cheer camp! Cheer camp!

- One, two.

- Cheer camp! Cheer camp!

- One, two.

Cheer camp! One, two.

You might have everyone else fooled,

but not me.

Well, if being a fool

for cheering is wrong...

...then I don't wanna be right.

You might wanna dial back

your bullshit with her.

She seems pretty with-it.

That's a great note. Thanks.

We're so psyched you're here.

- Yeah, us too. Oh, yeah.

- Me too, yeah, yeah.

Don't worry about Carly.

- She's really into cheering.

- No worries.

We are driving

We, we are driving

We are driving

We, we are driving

We like driving

We, we like driving

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes