First Girl I Loved Page #2

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Um, say I said...

Teddy Roosevelt.

Teddy Roosevelt.

Whenever you can.

I don't know what's

good for you.

Oh, no. It gives me a reason

to get out of practice early.

I'll just tell them we have some

follow-up questions or whatever.

They basically let me

do whatever I want.

Because you're a goody-goody.

No, I'm not.

"No, I'm not."

You're so mean!

I'm sorry. I know.

That's a really bad habit.

No, I... I like when you do it.

I don't know why.

Are you sure you don't want

a ride to your car?

Canoga's like super sketch.

Been workin' out.

Oh. Promise you won't get

raped and get aids and die?

I promise.

Okay. Well... bye.

And good bye to you!

Should we do it like

they do in Europe?

How do they do it in Europe?

Oh. Wait. Let me try again.

Oui, oui, oui.

Nice.

Would you like a cigarette?

Would you like a cigarette?

Cigarette!

Okay. Uh, I'm going now.

Okay. Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Hey. I'm bored. Entertain me.

Do be do, do be do, waaaa!

I can totally imagine

you singing that right now.

Regionals,

we're going to win for sure.

It's more state I'm

worried about.

Is it weird that I'm

worried about it too?

I don't even like sports.

Getting to state is everything

I've been practicing

for since forever.

But now if we lost I

wouldn't even care.

Except we wouldn't get to miss

school.

Do you think you'll play

softball in college?

Do you think you'll

play football in college?

Do you think you'll do

synchronized swimming

in college?

is really hard.

Don't knock it.

One time I tried to do

one of those

twirly upside-down

things in a pool

and inhaled a big gulp of

water and passed out.

One time I wasn't supposed

to go to batting practice

but I went anyway.

It was right after I'd already

messed up my shoulder

and I popped my shoulder out of

its socket.

How come you're only now

taking the sats?

Did you take the sats

when you were 12?

Do you have

any brothers or sisters?

Nope. /yep.

What do you want to be

when you grow up?

Sometimes I think

I want to be a teacher,

for really little kids.

I want to live in an

apartment in New York City

and have a job where I take the

subway to get there

and have to change lines.

It doesn't matter what I'm

doing...

What if your job is...

I guess it has to be creative.

You're so creative.

You're gonna be an artist.

And smoke a ton of cigarettes.

By the way, that's gross.

I know. I'm trying to quit.

I have to go play

this game, one sec.

Take your base.

Go, Sasha!

Alright, Sasha!

Come on, you got this! Three on.

Ball one!

Ball two.

Let's go, ladies!

Ball three!

Sasha!

Sasha Basaez...

Sounds like some dumbass

baseball player or something.

That's actually a

really good guess.

Oh my god, he is?

Oh, so good!

Except it's softball...

Not baseball.

Sh*t... yo,

you know sh*t about sports, bro.

Girls play softball, Anne.

How do you not know this?

I thought you were supposed

to be like some genius

or some sh*t.

I'm not a genius.

Ah, damn, I know.

I'm sorry.

I hate it when you call me that.

I know. My bad.

That's my bad.

No, Anne, Anne, Anne...

That's my bad, okay?

I'm sorry. Come here. Come here.

All right, so tell me how...

How you got to kick it with this

dude who's on the baseball team.

So you know senior goodbyes?

No, I'm in yearbook and I've

never heard of senior goodbyes.

Okay. Obviously. So Sasha

Basaez bought a senior goodbye.

Uh... and you wanted to do him

because he looked good in a pic,

is that why?

I know it's so lame.

I... I took a camera

along to a game

and I acted like I had

to be there

for like "official yearbook"...

Oh, no, no, no, no.

What a stalker, bro.

It's not exactly "stalker".

"Not exactly stalker"?

You hit him with the cam.

No! Okay. It's kind of stalker.

But we were talking

after the game

and I pretended like

I had to do an interview.

Did you guys f*** or...?

No. Jesus.

You know I've never

done that with anybody.

I'm not like you.

Kiss or...?

No, we talked for like

two seconds.

But, seriously, I've never

felt like this before.

Just like...

It's just like what're

we doing here?

Anne, what are we doing here?

Look, you can't tell me about

you and this other guy, okay?

I'm sorry, that's...

That's just the way it is.

Okay. Uh, just...

Here's where it gets kind of...

You know... you know, right?

Know what?

Oh, come on, you're gonna make

me say it? You know!

Okay, uh, just, look,

let me finish my story?

Okay, can you please...

Can you please just not...

Can you not say anything

for a second?

Please, please,

just don't say anything.

You don't really like

this guy, do you?

Um...

Shh. Never mind.

Don't answer that.

Who is that?

Nobody.

Uhm?

Do you want me to pause it?

Hey!

Hey.

Are you okay?

No.

What's wrong?

I don't know.

Sorry I'm bothering you.

No.

I just totally let everyone

down.

Oh, no.

I was feeling guilty

'cause I said I didn't care

about any of it anymore.

And then... I shouldn't have

swung but I swung anyway

'cause I thought...

It's okay. It's okay.

I'm so sure everything is okay.

But I swung anyway

'cause I thought...

I don't know, I wasn't thinking.

- I wasn't playing smart.

- Sorry...

I'm sure I sound so pathetic

right now.

Can I tell you something?

What?

I don't have a car.

What do you mean?

Remember I said I parked...

far away. It's 'cause I

walked.

So then why?

I was trying to impress you.

I kind of thought something

was up.

I know.

I kind of felt like you

knew, too.

Le cigarette?

Cigarette?

Oh, oui, le cigarette!

Would you like a cigarette?

Oh, but of course, I smoke le

cigarette all the time.

No!

Cool bike.

Go f*** yourself.

Dude, I was trying to

compliment you.

Dude, why do you make it

so hard to be your friend?

You don't want to be my friend.

You want to call me a dyke,

which is so dumb

'cause I'm not even gay.

And I know why you do it and you

know that I know.

So don't even pretend.

Wait. Hold up. Pause. Pause,

pause, pause.

You're not gay anymore?

Hey, look,

I just want to know, okay?

Please get out of my way.

I'm just trying to collect

all the facts here.

Okay, here's a fact:

You're a homophobic a**hole.

Anne. Anne, come on.

You really think that?

Listen, this is

obviously hard for you.

So if you need to cry again,

like last time,

this is a safe space. Go ahead.

Hm. Just doesn't have

that kid brother ring, huh?

Jesus. What do you want?

I'm declaring a truce.

Then why'd you steal my bike?

What?

Don't be stupid.

Dude, I really don't know what

you're talking about.

'Cause you're an idiot.

Or a liar, or both.

Jesus! Lady, I didn't steal

your precious dyke.

What'd you say?

Aw, come on.

Mr. Maldonado...

I know Julie doesn't work

there any more...

Mr. Maldonado, can I talk

to you for a second?

But I... but I explained to

her our printing situation.

Can I please talk to you

for a second?

I'm so sorry.

Can you give me one second?

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