Five Minutes of Heaven Page #4

In order for me to talk about

the man I have become,

you need to know about the man I was.

I was 14 when I joined

the Tartan Gangs

and I was 15 when I joined the UVF,

the Ulster Volunteer Force.

The situation at that time,

you know...

BANGING IN BACKGROUND

Cut there. Sorry, that's very good

but we're picking up some noise.

That's really good.

OK? OK, we're good to go again.

Running up.And in your own time, Alistair.

For me to talk about the man

I have become, you need to know

about the man I was.

I was 14

when I joined the Tartan Gangs

and I was 15 when I joined the UVF.

At that time, don't forget, there

were riots on the streets every week,

petrol bombs every day.

And that was just in our town.

When you got home

and switched on the TV,

you could see it was happening

in every other town as well,

and it was like we were under siege.

Fathers and brothers of friends

were being killed in the streets

and the feeling was,

we all have to do something.

We're all in this together

and we all have to do something.

The thing you have to remember,

what you have to understand,

is the mindset.

Once you have signed up to terror

and joined the organisation,

the group,

your mind closes right down.

It becomes only our story

that matters.

Not their story,

the Catholics.

It's only my people that are being

killed and who are suffering

and who need looking after.

Catholics being killed

doesn't enter your head.

And so when I went up to Sammy,

our local commander,

and told him

I wanted to kill a Catholic man,

it wasn't a wrong thing

for me to do.

In my head, it was the proper, the

just, the fair, the good thing to do.

And so it was easy.

When I got to the house,

there was a boy in the street.

I didn't expect him to be there,

but there he was.

I only looked at him for a moment

because I had a job to do.

But if I had known

that he was Jim's brother,

I would have shot him as well.

It was in the mindset.

It was tit for tat

and perhaps one more, why not?

That's what it was like.

I was only 17.

I had seen my people fighting

ever since I was a wee boy.

You take sides

with your friends as a boy,

but we weren't just throwing stones

over the fence -

we were shooting guns.

HE CLEARS HIS THROA

What I want to tell people,

what society must do,

is to stop people getting to the

point where they join the group.

Because when you get to that point,

it's too late.

No-one's going to stop you.

No-one's going to change your mind.

And once you're in,

you will do anything.

You will kill anyone on the other

side because it's right to do it.

Once your man has joined the group,

society has lost him.

And what he needs to hear

are voices on his own side

stopping him before he goes in.

There were no voices on my side.

Not on my side of the town.

Not on my estate.

No-one was telling me anything

other than that killing is right.

It was only in prison

when I heard that other voice.

And the Muslims now, you know,

the kids now are like I was then.

They need to hear those voices now,

stopping them from thinking

that killing is good.

They need their own people

to say no.

That's where they need to hear it.

That's where I would put my money,

on making those voices heard

in every mosque in the country.

HE CLEARS HIS THROA

When I got home, my mother

and father were watching the TV

and it came on the news

that the man I had shot was dead.

I was so excited

that I couldn't wait

for when I would get

my congratulations.

Sammy was going to come

knocking at my door.

He was going to lead me out

into the street

and proudly walk me into the bar

and everybody was going to stand up

and applaud me.

I would have shot anyone for that.

And that is why I talk to anybody

who will listen now,

to tell them to stop boys

like me thinking

that to shoot an innocent

and a decent man in the head

is a good thing.

Alistair, when he comes into

the room, what are you hoping for?

Well, what I have to do

is to be honest with him.

That is the most difficult

thing, but that's what

he's going to need from me,

is to be honest with him.

Cut.

Good.

Fantastic.

Thank you. That was perfect. Yeah.

Once he's in the room with you,

do you think...?

I mean, is it likely

he'll want an apology from you?

Michael, Michael...

He doesn't want to hear me say

I'm sorry or to ask for forgiveness.

Reconciliation is not on the agenda.

That's not what he needs.

He has come here and I have come here

so he can confront me.

Hiya, Joe. Ah, here he is.

I wondered if I could sort you out

with a wee radio mike here?

Where are you putting that?How are we doing? Ready to go?

I just need to clip this on here.

I don't like that side.

How are you feeling? Aye, OK.

What about if I put it in here?

Is that better?

Thank you. You sure?

Aye, OK.Just need to clip this on here.

All right, that's it. OK. Good.

What we're gonna do now, we are

going to bring you downstairs.

Now, the cameraman will be filming

you but don't look at him...

..Joe?

Yeah, Joe?

Going downstairs, aye.

Now, when you open the door

and go into the room,

make sure you open the door wide

and leave it open.

OK? Aye.

What the cameraman

will be doing, he'll be

following you into the room,

and somebody else'll be

closing the door behind him, OK?

Aye. Clear? Aye.

Sure? Aye, I'm sure. OK.

OK, here you are.

OK, we're ready. ..OK.

'Quiet please! Running up.

'Joe, whenever you're ready.'

EXHALES DEEPLY:

RAGGED BREATHING

Sh*t! Cut! What?Sorry, I nearly fell there.

Sorry, Joe. These things happen. I'm

afraid we really do need that shot.

Would you mind

just doing that again -

the walk down the stairsAye, OK.

Sorry, Joe. Thank you.

OK, guys, let's rehearse our moves

until we get it right.

Then we'll go again.

Can I get a drink of water, please?

..Oh, yeah.

Stay with him.

So, you're still looking after me,

are you?

I just want to say...

I hope it goes well.

But he seems a nice man. Who does?

Mr Little.

Have you met him? Yes.

Where? In Belfast.

I went to his home.

I didn't know that.Yes, I was delivering something.

To his home? Yes.

Did you go in? Yes.

Where was that? City centre...

um...

..beside the motorway.

A block of flats.

It's a flat, then, is it?Yes, a flat.

So, he let you in, did he?I didn't stay long, I...

What was it like?

His flat? What was it like?

It was like...cold.

Empty. Empty?

Like not a home.

Not a happy place.

Was it?

I didn't like it.

Is he on his own, then?

Yes. Is he? But you liked him?

Yes.

What did you talk about?

About this.

This meeting. What did he say?

Well, he was worried about it.Oh, I bet he was!

He was worried for you.

DOOR OPENS:

Joe, ready whenever you are. OK.

What do you...?

Will you let me finish my ciggie?

Aye, yeah, sure... Fine.

Worried for me? What do you mean,

he was worried for me?

That... He said he thought

it would be too painful for you.

He said that, did he?

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