Five Minutes of Heaven Page #5

Too painful, is that what he said?

Yes, difficult for you.

Painful or difficult? He said both.

Did he?

What about him?

What did he say about himself?

He didn't talk about himself.

But he seems very sad.

Sad?

I don't know, but...

I don't know him really,

but that's how he seemed.

Like he couldn't forgive himself

for what he's done to you.

There's an expression

you say, um...

..a broken man.

A broken man.

So, it's good...

It's good that you're meeting.

I think.

F***!

DOOR OPENS:

Ready when you are, Joe.

OK?

Ready when you are.

Aye.

I need an end to this.

Everything OK?

Joe?

Everything OK?

Aye.

You ready?

Aye.

Joe, just a wee bit more here.

There you go.

Great.

'Quiet, please!

'Running up.

'OK, Joe, ready when you are.

'Joe, whenever you're ready.'

Joe?

Are you all right?

Do you want to sit down?

I don't want the camera there.

I know, it takes some getting usedYou'll have to take it away.

Well, the thing about that...The thing is nothing!

Why don't we go

and talk this through?

I don't want the camera in my face

when I am meeting that man!

We did agree...I don't care what we agreed to.

I hear what you're saying,

but there must be a camera.

Would you like to speakStephanie?

They're going to be setting up,

so why don't we take a few moments

out, go upstairs and...

I've been upstairs

to be down the stairs!

I am not a f***ing show pony!

I will meet him! I want to meet him!

But I don't want the camera there!

I understand that, Joe,

but what I think...

Joe, what we can't do is... No!

Joe!

in this head, standing there,

staring at me, looking up at me,

never leaving me.

Never leaving.

Every morning waiting for me,

and I know

he'll be there for always.

I don't know what to do any more.

How to deal with this.

I feel I've come to the end

of what I can take.

'Time will heal, they say.'

What everyone says about everything.

The years just get heavier.

Why don't they tell you that?

Nobody tells you that.

Can I get you anything?

Why do YOU think he didn't come in?

Too frightened?

You think

he really wanted to meet me?

I think he wanted to kill you.

MUFFLED VOICE OVER EARPIECE

..Sorry, I just have to go.

Guilty if I laugh.

Guilty if I drink.

Guilty if I forget.

How to get through a day.

What to do in it.

I wake up, I go out.

But where to go?

He's always there.

In my head.

And I don't know where to go.

Where to put yourself after it all.

It's the same for everyone.

'Some of us have found an answer.

'He's killed a few Catholics in his

time and now he's killing his own.

'Some protection thing

to control the estate.

'Released after

the Good Friday Agreement,

he's on top of the world again,

'still living it,

just like he always was,

'with his mates watching his back,

'breathing in

the scent of his victories.

'If I had gone with him then,

just said yes to him then...

'That's all I had to do,

just tell him I was in.'

I know that isn't my answer,

but what is my answer, you know?

'I sit in meeting rooms

all over the world

'and I help men to live with

what they've done to a wife,

'a child, a stranger, a neighbour,

'how to live with that act

of violence that's, you know,

'always there inside us.

'But I can't help myself.

'Sometimes I feel that this preacher

is just the man I've become

'so that I can cheat my way

through my life.'

KETTLE WHISTLES:

'The next stop is Lurgan.'

Tommy!

Boys.

How's things? Aye, OK.

Tommy!

It's a surprise to see you in here.

Would you mind getting this

to Joe Griffin for me?

How's Tommy? OK.

Aye.

Is he expecting it? No.

He might not take it,

but I'll make sure it gets to him.

I would appreciate that.

Thanks.

Black tea, please, love.

Yeah, no problem.

WHIRRING:

Hi, Liam.

Who's this from? Sean.

What is it?

A letter.

Can I go now?

What did you say? Can I go now?

Are you taking the girls, Joe?

The girls? Marion's.

You said you would. Marion's.

Oh, aye. Aye, I'm taking them.

They're ready now.

They're waiting to go.

What is it? What's the matter?Little's come back.

He's wanting to meet with me.You're not going to meet him.

You're not to be calling him!

I'll be killing him, not callingMaybe he's wanting to end this.

I should have had himWhy don't I get

Sean to deal with it?

You will f***ing do nothing!You're not going to see him!

Joe!

I will have my five minutes! Joe!

Joe!

MOBILE PHONE BEEPS

Joe?

Joe?

JOE SCREAMS IN PAIN

Come on, man!

F*** you!

Enough...

Enough.

ALISTAIR GROANS SOFTLY

I'm going to Belfast

and I won't be coming back...

so I'm going to tell you

everything that happened here.

We were told that a Protestant

worker had been threatened...

and if he didn't leave the yard,

he'd be shot.

I asked who the Catholics were

working there.

Somebody said Jim Griffin.

I said, "Tell him if he

doesn't leave, I'll shoot him."

I knew he was leaving anyway,

but it didn't make a difference.

It was my decision. I was up

for anything, to kill anyone.

I wanted...to be someone.

I wanted to...

walk into the bar a man.

Walk in ten foot tall

and hear the applause from the only

people that mattered to me then.

And I heard it. And it was good.

Get rid of me, Joe...

so that when you wake up

in the morning,

it's not me's in your head,

it's your daughters.

Don't give them me.

Go home and tell them

that you've killed me off.

That I'm gone, forever.

I'm nothing.

Nothing.

Go home and tell them that

and live your life for them.

TV:
'We did everything together.

'I don't know what is was,

we just clicked.

'Alan was great.

'He liked me for who I was.

'And he didn't care

about my problem.

'Alan had no sense of smell.

'Alan was my best friend.

'Alan was my only friend.'

'But every day was a constant

struggle with my problem.

'And every day, I tried to avoid...

'Damian.

'Look who it isn't.

'Patrick Smash.

'What you doing in my corner

of the playground, Smash?

'You ain't nothing but a big,

fat loser.'

I haven't done

this sort of thing before.

Or talked, or...

So...

I don't know what to say

or how to say it.

I don't know the words,

the sort of words you use.

I bought some sandals

cos I'd seen it in a movie.

They were all sitting in a circle,

wearing sandals.

Then I remembered it was a comedy.

But I got here eventually,

got through that door.

I want my daughters...to have a dad

they could be proud of.

That's it.

That's it.

Well, that's it.

That's out.

That's out.

That's out.

That's out.

'Alistair Little?' Yeah?

'It's Joe Griffin.

'We're finished.'

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