Flatland Page #8

So there must be a fourth

dimension outside Spaceland!

Tell me,

has anyone seen any... you know...

visitors, here in Spaceland?

A few madmen.

The usual visions, delusions, brainstorms.

Nothing worth writing about.

Tell me, did any of these delusions...

- appear and vanish suddenly?

- Well, that's how the story sometimes goes

a story written by deluded,

mentally sick brains.

- Maybe they come from...

- I thought I told you not to disturb me.

I'm sorry sir.

The Board of Directors are here.

- We've got a problem, A!

- What?

- Your e-comm was leaked to the public.

- What?

- When? I just submitted it!

- Public opinion is against us.

They think you've made a terrible mistake!

There's a hearing in the Senate

Chambers going on right now.

The Zeroes are winning.

We must do something!

Your cartoon thing has been subpoenaed!

- He must appear at once!

- Great Balls of Fire!

There's no need to be worried.

Just be polite.

Try not to say too much,

yes and no answers,

Be as boolean and binary as you can be.

No pressure, but the Zeroes in the

Senate may have enough votes to win.

- The Zeroes?

- Political faction.

They've gotten momentum because

I brought you out of Flatland.

They think Flatland is an abomination

that should be wiped out.

What?

It disturbs them that there are

creatures such as yourselves.

They think we shouldn't be trying

to teach you the Gospel of 3D.

They think we should be putting

you out of your misery.

- Misery?!

- Just don't say anything stupid.

- Do you mean to tell me, Mister Sphere...

- Just call me A Sphere, Senator...

I'll call you what I like, boy!

Do you mean to tell me that

you took it upon yourself...

to bring this disgusting

creature into our world...

- without any oversight? Hmm?

- It was a split-second decision, Senator.

Our company had done research on what

such an action would mean, of course.

- We'd run computer simulations and...

- Computer simulations!

And these simulations made you certain that

there would be no unintended consequences?

- That there would be no danger to Spaceland?

- Of course, Senator...

- But you weren't 100 percent certain, were you?

We're still here, Senator.

Is a computer simulation PROOF of no danger?

No, Senator, of course not.

A computer simulation is only a simulation.

It isn't real.

We simply had a good idea...

- of what...

-You scientists never consider the

possibility that you could be wrong,

that your science could one day

be the end of the entire world...

you look at your computer simulations

and take great risks with the public good,

- without oversight, without any

- If you'd relinquish the floor,

I'd like to interview the Flatlander, Senator.

We're here to decide if we should

perform euthanasia on Flatland or not.

After all, the scientists are not

the ones on trial here. Not yet.

Of course, of course, I yield the floor

to my distinguished Cubic Colleague.

Now. Mr. A Square. You've been sworn in.

Yes, Oh Great and Divine Cube.

Knock it off with the Great and Divine.

Call him Senator.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, your Senatorness,

uhm, Cube, ah, Senator Cube...

- Don't coach the witness.

- I'm sorry Senator.

It's his whole world you're

standing in judgment over,

he's just arrived here, he doesn't know

anything yet, it isn't right, it isn't fair...

A Sphere,

you are excused while we interview this witness!

And take your board of directors with you.

Guards!

Ixnay on the Fourth Dimensionay.

What? What? What did you say? What?

- Remember. You're an attorney!

- This is a disaster, Sphere!

We're going to hold an emergency

board meeting and elect a new CEO...

Oh, the shareholders! The shareholders!

Now, Mr. A Square...

Let's ignore the media here.

Let's ignore everything.

It's just you and me.

You know what's at stake.

Tell me what's on your mind.

Why should we preserve your world?

- Why should Flatland continue its existence?

- Because...

- Speak into the microphone, please.

- Because... ack!

Can someone prop the witness upright please?

Yes, you there. You diamond guy there.

Lift him up, please.

Answer the question, Flatlander.

Why should Flatland have a continued existence?

Because...

In order to turn a circle into A Sphere,

we rotate ninety degrees

the circle along its vertical axis.

Thus a circle becomes A Sphere.

So in order to make A Sphere into a hypersphere,

we would rotate spheres within spheres...

Oh enough of this stupidity.

- What is it talking about?

- It's there, I know it is.

- We need to get out of hear now.

- It's all around us.

- Fourth dimension?

- This is madness, madness!!

- The fourth dimension is here.

Are you alright, Mr. Square?

Are you suffering from your

transition into our world?

You must be ill. Four dimensions?

Space is space!

Point of order, I say!

Point of order, Senator Cube!

Our enemies in the X-Axis

have seen our continued inability,

our continued weakness, our failure,

I saw our failure to destroy Flatland!

We have little time for this circus!

They see our delays as an excuse to attack.

- Doom may fall upon us at any moment!

- No, no. It's clear in my head.

I understand everything.

I just don't have the words.

- Space is space, yes...

- I voted against using Messiah Inc.

- but space is curved...

- I never trusted that A Sphere!

I thought we were here to

discuss the bowling ball bill?

Who brought that thing in here?

Mr. Square. It sounds as if the government

has made a terrible mistake...

in Chartering A Sphere's company

to perform Millennium duties.

It sounds as if you are incapable of understanding

the Gospel of the Three Dimensions.

No... no your worship! That's not true!

I understand.

And I know there are dimensions even beyond it.

You've all led me into a world of

understanding that I can never repay...

Surely you, you,

as great divine solids, can understand...

there is always something beyond...

there is always... infinity!

Mister Square! Are you alright?

Mister Square! Can you hear me?

- Apostle! Are you okay?

- What's the matter with it?

It's gravity! He must return! And soon!

Infinity. Infinity. Infinity.

What's happening?

Oh, it's just a little war.

The X-Axis is attacking us.

Savages.

- Everything's black. I can't see.

- Our time is up, my friend.

I have to send you back.

Good luck preaching the Gospel of the 3D.

No... please don't send me back.

- I can't bear to go back.

- A Square!

I'm afraid I won't be answering

any calls from Flatland...

for the next thousand years.

Did I save my world?

Shh! Ignorance is bliss.

Please don't send me back!

Infinity...infinity.

Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! No!

No! No!....No! No!....

Let's go, Dad. It's New Year's!

It's the New Millennium!

Come listen to the Proclamation! Hurry!

Whereas the States have been

troubled by ill-intentioned persons...

pretending to have received

revelations of Three Dimensions

every thousand years since Time Began,

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