Flawless Page #2

trying to save Amber.

You know, and she was

a friend of mine, so I really..

Well, I wanna thank you

and I'm sorry about...

Oh, here. Let me help you, sweetheart.

Get away.

Are you OK? Give me your hand?

Oh, don't be like that... for God's sake.

Are you worried I might be catchy?

Or you might suffer

from a severe jewelry rash?

Go f*** yourself.

I've had worse... big boy.

Happy Halloween.

You devil!

Are you registered to vote? Republican?

That is just teetering on interesting.

Look, it's very simple.

You sign up for the Flawless contest.

If we don't receive your entrance fee

in two weeks, you're eighty sixed.

You 're hideous!

Hi, ladies!

Hi, sweetheart.

Is it just me, or are drag queens

getting more demented?

It's just you, honey.

It's you, hon.

Honey, how come...

the goddamn entrance fee went up?

Cost of living.

A hundred f***ing dollars!

- My God. Whose living is that?

- Not that it matters.

I think we all know who's going to win.

My little Hispanic hotcake.

You truly are lawless, Cha-Cha.

She ain't gonna win. No f***in' way!

You prehistoric f***ing b*tch!

It's America's least wanted.

I heard your tired p*ssy was on sale

at the International House of C*nts!

Yeah, with your mama, b*tch!

Take it to the street, freaks!

I need some butch faggots over here.

I need some dykes!

Get the f*** outta here! Sh*t!

That's right! You got thrown out again.

Oh, hi. Is Walt...

Could I...

Yeah, come on.

Thanks.

Hey, buddy. I been tryin' to see you.

You know how many times

I knocked on your door?

I been real worried.

I'm his physical therapist.

- LeShaun Williams.

- Tommy Walsh. Im on my lunch hour.

I thought I'd stop by.

Sure.

So... Walt, how you doin'?

Hey...

- What's your name?

- LeShaun.

Listen, you take good care of my buddy

here, huh? He's a real hero, you know.

He saved me, the other guard, Joe

and 14 hostages in 1988.

Tom... Wait, wait.

Thats how he won early retirement.

Look here. A letter from Mayor Koch.

Wow.

There's a bravery medal.

- Man.

- Tomnmy, please.

Look at this.

This is Walt, right here in the middle.

That's Joe. That's me.

I'm pistol whipped down on the floor.

Joe's shittin' in his pants.

And Walt, pistol whipped also

bleedin' like a mother

he pretends like he's knocked out.

All of a sudden, blam blam!

He shoots.

Two thievin' motherfuckers go down.

You want I should tell 'em to shut up?

Hey, shut the f*** up!

Girls, look. A man in uniform!

Officer, help me!

Holy sh*t!

Jesus Christ!

F***in' freak show!

Well... Maybe I should go.

Walt.

Here we go. That's right.

You need anything?

I'm OK.

I guess you heard that Amber

that little hooker upstairs

and her sleaze boyfriend stole off Mr. Z.

So it was his guys and him

that you were shootin' at.

They still can't find the money.

And you know the cops can't do anything.

Mr. Z's got 'em. In his pocket. Anyways.

Hey, do me a favor, will you? Pick up

the goddamn phone when I call you.

And take good care of him.

Yeah.

- What was your name again?

- LeShaun.

Right. Right.

All right.

I'll see youse.

Take it easy, Walt.

You know, I had some real success with...

stroke patients improvin' speech.

You know how? Don't laugh.

Singing lessons. It relaxes you.

A lot of people like singing.

I got a card in my bag for a lady uptown.

Mildred somethin'. She's good.

You gotta start gettin' out soon, anyway.

What could you lose?

You start talkin better

and phone your friends.

You could even have phone sex.

Call us. Call us now.

Hot, wild girls waiting by the phone.

We're hot and wild and willing.

The girl of your dreams

is waiting by the phone.

She'll make your fantasies come true.

Just call.

Pick up the phone.

Are you OK? I didn't hit you, did I?

He slipped on the ice.

Are you OK? Yeah?

Buddy, is this yours?

Hey, you dropped somethin'.

I'll go get the door. I'll go get the door.

Do you want this?

Is this your card? I think it is.

Honey, let me guess.

A Jehovah's Witness?

I... I was wondering if I could pay you...

pay you for singing lessons.

I'm sorry. I'd rather

suck Hitler's dead dick.

I'm sure you did!

F***in' f*ggot.

Wait a minute. Wait.

F***!

Honey, could you pay cash? Cash?

I don't want your pity.

I don't want your f***in' pity either

all right? I need the money.

I'll call you from the window

tomorrow when I'm ready.

We're wasting our time out here.

F***in' b*tch! Hey, b*tch!

B*tch! Where the f*** is Cristal?

I see her! Right there!

Sh*t!

Wait a minute, motherf***er!

No! My leg, it's hurt bad.

What do you want from me?

What do you want?

Shut up!

- Mr. Z's f***in' money.

- No, I swear I know nothing!

I don't know nothing!

Then why the f*** you disappear?

I heard you was looking for me and I seen

what you done to Amber and Raymond.

The same thing happens to you

if Mr. Z don't get his money!

Do I look like I got money?

You think I'd be working 10th?

If you're lying, you fuckbag...

I'm not!

- Boom! Boom!

- No, no!

What?

Stop it!

Can you give me some money? F***!

Give me some money, you f***in' d*cks!

Welcome to fairyland.

We hope you enjoy the ride.

Do not stand up in the cars and please...

leave your attitude outside, all right?

Honey, that was a joke, OK?

I hate people who think they're funny.

Yeah? Bet you hate a lot of things.

All right.

Well, I... I thought

we'd start with the scales.

Do you know the scales?

All right? Grumpy, Sneezy and Horny.

All right. Shall we begin?

One more time.

Let's move on.

Honey, I can't hear you.

I am not Jodie Foster

and this is not Silence of the Lambs.

Now, your voice is a muscle, all right?

And you can exercise it, OK?

What? You can exercise it.

Don't be afraid. All right?

Re. OK, that's better.

All right, let's move on.

That's better. That was a lot better.

OK, good. Going for fa.

Fa, come on. You can do it.

Sing out, Louise!

No, no. This is bullshit.

Here's the... Here, I'll pay you. Here's the...

- Hey, this was your idea.

- Bad idea.

I can't do it. Bullshit.

Can't do it. Can't do this.

Honey, can't lives on

won't street, all right?

Why don't you try f***ing f*ggot?

You know, cos you were always pretty

good at shouting that across the alley.

- F***in' f*ggot.

- Prick.

Cocksucker.

A**hole.

Girlie man.

Republican.

Queer!

Fascist!

Freak!

Cheerleader f***er!

F***in' fruitcake.

Nazi!

What's with the f***in' door?

I'll f***in' help you out of the door.

F***in' f*ggot!

There you go.

It's open. There you go.

If you came here with a bellyful of

self pity, you came to the wrong place.

I left sensitivity back in the sandpile.

All right, girl.

Michelle Pfeiffer goes

after a dangerous mind.

I know you're in there. You paid for

the lesson. You might as well get it.

Come on. Open the door.

Walt, I want you, baby!

Oh, Walt, please be my man!

Oh, please put it inside of me!

Break it off in me, daddy.

Break it off in me.

What the f***'s the matter with you?

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