Fletch Page #3

WALKER:

Now, Irwin, try to follow me. You can't run the ad

and then not run the story.

FLETCH:

Why not? Oh $hit...really?

Walker just stares at him.

FLETCH:

Just kidding, Frank. You'll have the story and

you'll be damn proud of it.

WALKER:

You broke it? You know the source?

FLETCH:

Practically.

44 WALKER

ready to kill.

WALKER:

What's 'practically'? Is it Fat Sam?

You said you had pictures of him....

45 MASTER

FLETCH:

I have pictures of him. Dealing....

WALKER:

So let's go! We run the pictures.

FLETCH:

He's not the story! There's a source behind him.

WALKER:

Who?

FLETCH:

Well, there we're in a gray area.

WALKER:

How gray?

FLETCH:

I'd say charcoal.

WALKER:

(straining for control)

I'm going to bite out your eyeballs, you know that?

FLETCH:

Frank, you animal, I love it. I'll have the story

by Thursday night, I swear to God.

(to himself as he exits)

I hope.

INSERT - NEWSPAPER CLIPPING

ALAN STANWYK NEW V/P

BOYD AVIATION:

A photograph of Stanwyk; a head shot. Hands turn the clipping paper. Next clipping: a social page spread on the wedding of Alan Stanwyk. ("GAIL BOYD WED TO ALAN STANWYK.")

LARRY (V.O.)

Everything's recent.

47 FLETCH AND LARRY

Fletch and Larry examine the file.

FLETCH:

'Mr. Stanwyk, of Provo, Utah, is a

former commercial pilot.'

LARRY:

Married Boyd Aviation. He's no dummy,

that's serious coin.

48 INSERT - CLIPPING - TIGHTER ANGLE

FLETCH (V.O.)

'Stanwyk's parents, Marvin and Velma Stanwyk, also

of Provo, were unable to attend the wedding.'

49 FLETCH AND LARRY

LARRY:

(affected accent)

Not our kind of people, you understand.

FLETCH:

(points to his back)

Spot right here.

She scratches.

FLETCH:

Thanks.

LARRY:

You doing a story on this guy?

FLETCH:

Maybe.

He pours over some more clippings, then stops at one.

50 INSERT CLIPPING

headlined:
"CANCER SOCIETY BENEFIT". A photograph of Alan and Gail Stanwyk, with a gray haired man and his wife.

FLETCH (V.O.)

'...Stanwyk, blahblahblah, with internist

Doctor Joseph Dolen.

51 FLETCH AND LARRY

FLETCH:

I wonder if that's his doctor.

LARRY:

Only one way to find out.

52 INT. DOCTOR'S EXAMINING ROOM - DAY

Fletch, stripped to the waist. is being examined by Dr. Joseph Dolen, a rather imperious physician.

DR. DOLEN

So where do you know Alan from?

FLETCH:

We play tennis at the club.

DR. DOLEN

Really. The California Racquet Club?

FLETCH:

Yes.

DR. DOLEN

That's my club too. I haven't seen you there.

FLETCH:

Well, I haven't played in a while because of

these kidney pains.

DR. DOLEN

Right, and how long have you had these

pains, Mr. Barber?

FLETCH:

That's Babar.

DR. DOLEN

Two bs?

FLETCH:

One. B-a-b-a-r.

DR. DOLEN

That's two.

FLETCH:

But not right next to each other. I thought

that's what you meant.

DR. DOLEN

Arnold Babar. Isn't there a children's book about

an elephant named Babar?

FLETCH:

I don't know. I don't have any.

DR. DOLEN

No children?

FLETCH:

No books. No elephants either. No

really good elephant books.

DR. DOLEN

(eyes Fletch curiously)

Still, it'd an odd name. I don't remember seeing

it on the club registry.

Fletch's eyes drift to Dolen's side table with its unnerving assortment of medical paraphernalia.

FLETCH:

Oh, I don't belong formally. I've gone with my aunt.

DR. DOLEN

Your aunt?

FLETCH:

Mrs. Smith.

DR. DOLEN

Joan or Margaret Smith.

FLETCH:

Right.

DR. DOLEN

Well, which one?

FLETCH:

Margaret.

DR. DOLEN

Funny old bird.

FLETCH:

Is she ever. I've got some stories....

DR. DOLEN

I'll bet. Shame about Ed.

FLETCH:

(vamping)

It was. Really a shame. To go so suddenly.

DR. DOLEN

Oh, he was dying for years.

FLETCH:

Sure, but the end was so sudden.

DR. DOLEN

He was in intensive care for eight weeks.

FLETCH:

Yes, but the very end, when he actually died,

that was extremely sudden.

(quickly)

You know, Alan and I were recently speaking of

dying. Told me Boyd Aviation took out a lot of

insurance on him. You must have to be in some kind

of perfect health to get that kind of policy.

DR. DOLEN

Bend over and drop your pants, Mr. Babar.

FLETCH:

Oh really, there's no need to --

we don't want to do that....

DR. DOLEN

Just relax....

FLETCH:

Honest, I feel fine. You better be married.

Fletch looks alarmed as Dolan pushes him into position. Dolan puts on a plastic glove.

53 CLOSE - FLETCH

FLETCH:

Did I say 'kidneys'? I meant my ear. Maybe I

should see an ear dahhh --

(as Dolan starts to probe from behind)

Ever serve time?

DR. DOLEN

Breathe easy....

FLETCH:

Anyway, I'm surprised Alan got the policy so easily.

I know there's a history of cancer in the family.

DR. DOLEN

(noncommittally)

There is?

FLETCH:

Whoa, look out there. You really need the whole fist?

DR. DOLEN

Just relax.

FLETCH:

(reacts to a poke)

Gee, Alan's been looking kind of sick lately.

Is he all right?

DR. DOLEN

I can't discuss another patient. You know that.

(rising into frame and washing up)

Well, I can't find anything wrong with you.

FLETCH:

I'm sure it's not for a lack of looking. Maybe

I should get a real complete physical. You give

Alan an annual, don't you?

DR. DOLEN

Yeah, we check you into Mt. Hebron for a few days,

run lots of tests, charge a bundle. You can pull

your pants up now.

FLETCH:

I hope they still fit. Do I get to keep the glove?

DR. DOLEN

Tell the nurse when you've got a few free days. She'll

make all the arrangements.

FLETCH:

Thanks, Doc. Maybe I'll come back with a date.

Or an elephant.

54 INT. HOSPITAL RECEPTION AREA - DAY

Fletch is dressed in shorts, a clean shirt, and is carrying a doctor's bag. He is wearing a stethoscope around his neck , has a beeper on, a lot of pencils and other doctor gadgets. He's standing at the directory

55 DIRECTORY

Combing it with his eyes, he sees the directory:

PATHOLOGY - THIRD FLOOR

B. ROSENSTIEN, M.D.

H. ROSENBLATT, M.D.

P. ROSENWOHL, M.D.

Fletch goes to a door marked "Stairs."

56 INT. STAIRWELL - DAY

Fletch abruptly empties his doctor's bag and puts on a long green gown, a cap and a face mask. He plugs the stethoscope in his ears, removes miscellaneous file folders filled with papers, closes the bag, and heads for Pathology.

57 INT PATHOLOGY DEPARTMENT - DAY

It's at the end of a long hall, and adjacent to the Autopsy Room and the Pathology Records Room. Over his shoulder we can see into the autopsy room where a gowned doctor is happily performing an autopsy.

RECORDS NURSE:

(to Fletch)

Identification please.

Fletch hastily fumbles through his wallet, deftly dropping and picking up the papers he has brought with him.

FLETCH:

It's me doctor Rosenpenis. I just have to take

another peek at Alan Stanwyk's file. What have

they done with this place?

RECORDS NURSE:

(confused at all his activity)

Nothing. They're still there.

FLETCH:

Right. Fine.

Still dropping and picking up, shuffling and collating, Fletch starts toward the Files Room, when the doctor performing the autopsy yells at him.

PATHOLOGIST:

Hey you!

Fletch stiffens and turns around.

PATHOLOGIST:

Give me a hand for a second would you doctor?

Fletch hesitates.

PATHOLOGIST:

Come on, come on.

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