Flock of Dudes

1

I didn't miss anything, did I?

No, no, no, you didn't miss it.

I was just about to begin in.

Gentlemen, I want to remind

you of a very special someone...

Baseball legend Wade Boggs...

- Great.

Who is rumored to

have drank 64 Miller Lites

on a cross-country flight.

Now, I'm not saying

we have to match that.

But it's good to have goals!

It's good to have goals.

I like that.

I wrote that.

I wrote that and memorized it.

God, I didn't think you

were going to make it, dude.

Barrett said you're

way too whipped

by Katherine to do a pub crawl.

Don't misquote me, man.

I didn't say that.

I said, he's way too scared

of Katherine to blow her up.

Come on, there's no way I would

miss as a new tradition, right?

I'm just going to be

responsible a little bit.

I'm gonna do three

bars, and that's it.

- What?

- Three bars?

Three bars?

Three bars.

Oh, I mean, there's no

point of you even being here.

I mean, you should

just go home now,

man, because you're going

to miss all the good sh*t.

He wrote a speech.

OK, I understand.

But, dude, Katherine's parents

are visiting from out of town,

and I got to hang out.

If I skipped out,

then she'll kill me.

Hey, guys, guys,

guys, guys, check this out.

I know we said we

were just going

to do beer at the first bar.

But there was this

super-hot shot girl.

She freaking was so hot.

Do I have to teach your

little brother everything?

Never ever talk

to the shot girls.

Never.

They're just

undercover bartenders.

And they never put up.

'Cept that one

might be different.

Excuse me, boys.

Oh.

I'm not even trying to

hook up with that girl, man.

I... I actually really

want to see how

things work with me and Amanda.

Aw, that's sweet.

Amanda?

Are you talking about

Katherine's friend?

Yeah.

You've been out on

one date with her.

- Yeah, but she's really cool.

- Zzh!

Beer pong's up.

David, you in?

All right.

Oh, Adam and I got next.

Come here.

I gotta say, man, that rousing

speech was awesome, man.

You got our song-playing dude.

This is not gonna be...

Not gonna be easy.

Buddy, that is

just the beginning.

Check it out.

What the hell is that?

That, my friend, is a barcycle.

Barcycle!

Let's be stupid people, man!

Heh.

Three bars, huh?

This is so weird.

He just texted me.

You know, I'm gonna

call him again.

OK.

Oh, man, I'm so drunk, man.

Barcycle was a bad idea.

I really got to go.

I'll be right back.

Hey, what's up, babe?

Oh, my god, you look so

good in a black dress.

What the f***?

Oh, my god, you look

so good tonight.

You're like a doll.

What are you doing?

What's up?

Oh, my god, I'm so

sorry I'm late, ha-ha.

Adam, why did you get so drunk?

What?

Oh, my god.

Um, I... I'm not that drunk,

but I was responsible.

And I only drank nine

beers before flip cup.

How many shots did you have?

Shots don't count.

Everybody knows that

shots don't count.

All right, look, I confess.

I'm a little bit drunk.

But you know what?

The guys decided

that we were going

to have, uh, every

year to do a pub crawl,

because it's our anniversary.

Adam, do you even know

when our anniversary is?

Yeah, totally, I

know when it is.

Every single year.

It's not today, is it?

Oh, sh*t.

It's today?

What did you get me?

Go be with your friends.

No way.

I would never do that with them.

Why would you... I know how

important this day is to you.

Why is Mook naked?

Mook's naked.

That's because that's

how we party, dude!

Adam.

What?

Go be with your friends.

Oh, my god, I love

you so much, Katherine.

Thank you, I know.

You guys, thanks so

much for you know what.

Yeah, Mr. Dad and the mom.

Hey, guys!

Katherine said I could

stay out a little longer.

Hey, Katherine, can you

please tell Amanda call me?

So what are we doing here?

David said we had to come.

Oh, it's a party for Amanda.

He's so whipped.

He picked a bad week,

but your little brother

did go all out, I'll say that.

Definitely.

This place, man.

Wow, man.

I really need to

get my sh*t together.

Oh, man.

If I was making real

estate money like David,

I wouldn't waste it

on these wine parties.

Oh!

Oh, oh.

What?

What up with that one?

That's my

16-year-old cousin.

So no because she's your cousin?

Or no because she's 16?

No, because of... really?

Yeah.

Hey, Adam.

Come here.

I could use your help.

My mom's calling me.

And no, you can't

f*** my mom either.

How's that?

No to my whole family.

- Don't want to.

Yeah, yeah.

Don't want to.

I wan to f*** his mom so bad.

I know you do.

I know.

Hey.

Hey.

I can't believe David

put you to work today.

I volunteered.

What is that on your face?

Why are you wearing it to

your brother's big party?

Because I have to.

It's for Fu Man Choose Your

Own Adventure, all right?

If you want to play, we

got a bunch of extra ones.

Mook can't grow facial

hair, so we need 'em.

Yeah, right.

I'll pass.

Oh, aren't they adorable?

Look how happy they are.

Aw.

When are you gonna find someone?

Me?

Uh, heh.

I don't know.

Not anytime soon.

I don't want to, like,

miss out on things.

Things?

What things?

Go, go.

Yeah, yeah, I got it.

I got it.

- Relax your esophagus.

Relax your esophagus.

Relax.

Relax.

Relax.

Go, go, go.

More, more, more.

Stuff like that, kind of.

Not that, really.

Not drinking from

the ass of a goose.

You know, even I am

dating somebody now.

Oh, no, I know.

The point is, I...

I... I'm very happy.

And I want you to be happy too.

David said that Katherine

is coming tonight.

And she RSVPed plus one.

Oh, cool.

Katherine's coming?

That's great, yeah.

Uh, she... yeah, she's

coming with somebody,

'cause she's over

it, and I'm over it.

And we're both over it.

So that's... that's... I

mean, that's... that's great.

No problem here.

Holy sh*t.

Hey, man.

Uh, we have a bit...

Little bit of a problem.

Where are the guys?

The guys.

The guys are definitely not

out flirting with your cousin,

I know that.

Why?

What's up?

Man, uh, OK.

Well, Katherine's

on her way here.

And you know what?

She's bringing a date.

So great.

Good.

Hey, Katherine, the

one that got away.

Yeah, you actually don't have

to say that every time I...

I bring her... her up.

It's really annoying.

You get so pissed

off every time, man.

OK.

Well, you know what?

It's not that funny.

If it happened to you,

it wouldn't be funny.

It would never happen

to me, because I've

never been broken up with.

Look, you're stressing

out over nothing.

She is probably

dating some dork.

I know this.

- OK, but...

- Oh, my god, she just walked in.

- Where?

Oh, sh*t.

This is my boyfriend, Mario.

You don't have to say it.

I know I don't

have to, but I have to.

Your ex-girlfriend

is dating AC Slater!

Oh, my god!

Yeah, I know, dude.

OK?

Oh, hey, Katherine!

No, what are you doing?

Shut the f*** up.

Hey.

What do you mean,

what am I doing?

This is, like, the

greatest day of our lives!

No, it's a shitty

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes