Flower Page #2

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-I mean, just look at you guys.

You hardly

knew each other.

Now, you're like...

-We're best buds.

-Thick as thieves.

Put it up.

-Hi. You guys

ready to order?

Hi. This is the

guest of honor, right here.

Order anything you want

on the menu.

-Uh, not exactly.

-Yes, let him. Just let him.

The doctor has him

on a special diet,

so no processed sugar

or gluten or carbs

or red meat.

And dairy is discouraged.

-But, other than that,

anything you want, cowboy!

-Yes.

Besides that, anything else.

There's a lot of options.

Maybe we could grab some twigs

from that tree outside.

-Ow.

I'll--

I'll just order last.

-Sure, yeah take a second.

-Sure.

-I'll start things off.

-Thank you so much.

Yeah, I was thinking

about the hors d'oeuvres.

You know what's really looking

good to me is the salad.

Oh, yes.

Well, two salad bars

for me and my lady.

Then we can make

our own choices.

-That sounds nice.

Right. Right.

So cute.

I'm gonna look like a girl.

You also

want the salad bar?

I don't want

the salad bar at all.

I want the buffalo wing blasters

with extra butter, bacon, mash,

and an ice-cold mountain dew.

Thank you very much.

Okay, you're up, dude.

Take it.

Get a salad bar?

Okay, all right.

-Luke...

-Or jello...

It's okay.

Jut count to ten.

Just count to ten.

You got it.

Hey, Luke, come on.

You're trained for this now.

Come on, buddy.

Just do the exercises.

Do the work.

Count to ten.

Breathe through the nose.

-It's--

What can

we do, honey?

Mom, what's going on?

-Out through the mouth.

Sh*t!

Damn it.

He's surprisingly fast.

I think that maybe

you should go after him, honey.

What

'Cause I asked you to.

'Cause it would be kind.

I'll give you ten bucks.

-Fifteen.

-Hey, Laurie.

-Stop it, Bob, this is just--

-Twenty.

Twenty dollars,

and he better come back in.

You're not getting

20 bucks until

he's back here in his chair.

-Better be back here.

-I got it.

It's not an effective strategy.

It's effective for us.

So, that's just...

Dude?

What's up?

Running away from

your new fam already?

Hello?

What?

I just needed some air.

Kinda looked like you were

having a heart attack.

Are you okay?

It's a panic attack.

Why don't you think

of something peaceful, like...

kitten and a baby bear

making out.

-That may--

-Doesn't help.

Didn't help?

Unreal.

It's fine.

I'm used to it, really.

What were you in rehab for?

Pills.

-Oxys, mostly.

-Oh.

So, you like to get low.

I feel you.

I don't do drugs.

People think that's lame...

but f*** them, you know.

Are you okay?

I'm not--

I'm not helping?

Do you want a blowj*b?

Like right now?

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Yeah, you seem very tense--

-No.

And I think

it could really help with

-whatever it is

you're going through.

-Stop.

I won't ask. I just--

I'll just blow you.

I like sucking dick.

It's not--

It wouldn't be a burden.

Are you f***ing with me?

No, I'm not

f***ing with you.

It's not like we're related

or anything, dude.

-Calm down. Here, just--

-Jesus-f***ing-Christ!

Just, no, okay?

Fine. I couldn't find

your dick anyway, a**hole.

Sorry, that was mean.

And you're probably a virgin,

and you're 16.

Poor boy.

I'm 18.

And you refused

a blowj*b from me?

Like, I know you're shy, but...

Oh, you're gay!

-I'm not gay!

Hey, there's nothing wrong

with being gay.

I just don't want a blowj*b

from my future step-sister.

What is so hard

to understand about that?

F***! Leave me alone!

Okay.

Whatever!

I mean,

he's literally fat as f***.

No f***ing way.

That sucks.

He's also a weird

drug addict and very gay.

You know, if you have

a gay brother,

you get to jack off

to the same porn.

How do you know he's gay?

'Cause I tried to suck his dick

and he turned me down.

That's so f***ed up.

He's like,

basically your brother.

I'm not trying to

have sex with him or anything.

I'm not a psychopath.

Oh, my God, babe!

What the f***?

Yeah. I wasn't gonna

eat that sh*t anyway.

I'm sure, slut.

Hey, Ali.

Why you such

a f***ing b*tch?

Erica, I'm having

a lot of trouble

hearing what you're saying

without a dick in your mouth.

I really wanna punch you

in the face right now.

I just don't wanna ruin

those lip injections

that daddy gave you.

At least my daddy

is not in f***ing jail.

Shut the f*** up!

Oh, sh*t.

Get her off me!

Get the f*** off of me.

F***ing psycho!

Momma.

Hey, Mummy.

We need to talk.

It wasn't my fault.

She f***ing started it.

-Oh, no, I'm not talking

about that c*nt.

-Look!

-Oof.

-Oh, it hurts.

Oh, you gotta keep it lubed up

or else it's gonna scar.

I can't even--

That's disgusting.

Listen...

Bob says you've been

really tough on Luke.

-I need you to apologize.

-Yeah.

I'm not gonna apologize.

What am I, 12 years old?

It's not a question, lady.

I'm telling you

you have to apologize.

Right, and I'm not gonna.

Okay, listen.

-He just got out

of rehab, right?

-I know that.

He's feeling really,

really tender.

-Mm-hm.

-We don't know

what that feels like.

Let's just try

to be human beings.

Bob...

is internalizing his emotions

and I'm feeling

very worried about him.

Stop it, you.

No, focus, please.

I know that this has been

a really, really, really

difficult transition for you,

and I know it's not easy.

I really appreciate everything

that you have been doing.

You're a sweet, sweet girl.

And I need you

to say one thing

-one nice thing to Luke.

For me.

Please. It'll go so far.

Will you give me hair tickles?

-Mm-hm.

Okay.

Practice with me.

Can we come up

with one nice thing

-that we can say

to that human being?

-Yeah.

I'll tell him, um,

that if his plane crashes

into a mountain,

he'll be able to keep

a whole lot of

starving passengers--

-Stop it!

-Ow!

It would just make

my life so much easier--

It looks like he should

smell crazy bad...

-Still not helping.

-But he doesn't.

And...

he has nice eyes.

What!

Did she say

something nice about somebody?

Shh.

Don't tell anyone.

-I'm gonna scream it

to the neighbors...

-and the secret will be out.

[upbeat song

plays in background]

All right, everybody,

hot dogs are ready.

-Come get them

while they're hot.

Hot dogs, hot dogs.

And some steamed carrot dogs

for you, Lukemeister.

Oh, there she is.

Oh, that's what I need.

-Yeah.

-Thank you.

-Cheers.

-Cheers to you.

-Top chef.

-My love.

Got some hot dogs here,

got some buns in the back.

You idiot!

-What!

Why don't you come over here

and do Chef Sherm a solid

and deliver these to Luke.

Okay, I'm coming.

It's all good, huh?

Mm-hm.

Why do I have to do that?

Erica, we talked about this.

You have to be nice to him.

Be nice.

Okay.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-That wasn't too bad.

-I got this.

Hello.

The Sherm wanted me

to give these to you.

Great. I'm not that hungry.

Is that your rat?

His name is Titty.

You named your rat "Titty?"

Titty boy. He only eats Cheetos

and his favorite show

is 16 and Pregnant.

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