Flower Drum Song

What was that?

I don't know.

Must be my stomach.

Father.

Father.

Oh, my father.

It is so wonderful.

San Francisco.

Yes, but how do we know

what kind of city it is?

It is named after a saint, so

it must be a very holy place.

I have the weary feet

of a wanderer.

Oh, my back.

Here is Madam Fong's address,

my father.

I will ask someone

how to find it.

Be careful with

strangers. We are illegal.

It is unlucky to start in a

new country by breaking the law.

I will only break it

a little bit.

Pardon me, venerable sir.

Can you direct me

to this address?

Sorry, sister,

I can't read Chinese.

He does not understand.

I will ask a policeman.

No, no, no.

Never a policeman.

My daughter, we should not

draw attention to ourselves.

But if I faint on the

sidewalk from hunger,

it will draw even more

attention, my father.

Yes, we have no money left.

I know.

I will make some with the flower

drum, as I did in Hong Kong.

Good. But do not sing too loud.

Kind-hearted

and distinguished friends,

my daughter and I are

going to give a show.

A flower drum show

from the north.

Songs of filial piety.

Songs of loyal officials.

Songs of ghosts,

songs of love,

and songs of misery.

Kind-hearted

and distinguished friends,

if the song is good...

Give me a little applause

when I am through.

If the song is bad...

Give me applause, too.

My father says

That children keep growing

Rivers keep flowing, too

My father says

He doesn't know why

But somehow or other they do

They do

Somehow or other they do

A hundred million miracles

A hundred million miracles

Are happening every day

And those who say

they don't agree

Are those who

do not hear or see

A hundred million miracles

A hundred million miracles

Are happening every day

Miracle of changing weather.

When a dark blue curtain

Is pinned by the stars

Pinned by the stars

to the sky

Every flower and tree

Is a treat to see

The air is very clean and dry

Then a wind comes blowing

The pins all away

Night is confused and upset

The sky falls down

Like a clumsy clown

The flowers

and the trees get wet

Very wet.

A hundred million miracles

A hundred million miracles

Are happening every day

A swallow in Tasmania

Is sitting on her eggs

And suddenly

those eggs have wings

And eyes and beaks and legs

A hundred million miracles

A Swede is getting sunburned

The sun from overhead

A hundred million miles away

Will make him brown or red

A hundred million miracles

A little girl in Chongqing

Just thirty inches tall

Decides that she will try

to walk

And nearly doesn't fall

A hundred million miracles

A hundred million miracles

Are happening every day

Hey, you!

Let's see your license.

License?

Yeah, to beg

in the streets.

Please, we are

looking for someone.

I guess I should've

taken lessons in Chinese.

Anybody here read this?

I think I can.

It's the address

of Sammy Fong.

He's at the Celestial Gardens.

Yes, yes.

Sammy Fong?

Yes.

Okay, kid, come with me.

You too, Pop.

All right, folks.

Break it up.

Let's go.

Where are you folks from?

The East.

New York, huh?

Further east.

Oh.

Good evening,

ladies and gentlemen.

Tonight you're gonna meet

some beautiful chicks.

And you know what?

They're all college grads.

One of them is even an LLD.

A long-legged dame.

And now we're going to make the hills

of San Francisco rock with gaiety.

The star of our show,

Linda Low,

and the Celestial Garden Lulus

in Fan Tan Fannie.

Fan Tan Fannie

was leaving her man

Fan Tan Fannie

kept waving her fan

Said, "Good-bye, Danny,

you two-timing Dan

"Some other man

loves your little Fannie

"Bye-bye"

In the icebox,

you'll find in a can

Some leftovers

of moo goo gai pan

Fan Tan Fannie

has found a new guy

His name is Manny

He's good for Fanny

So good-bye, Danny, good-bye

Bye-bye

Bye-bye

Bye-bye

What's the matter, Officer?

Anything wrong?

I don't know yet.

I want to see Sammy.

Sammy?

Yeah. Will you get him, please?

There's an officer and two

characters outside waiting for you.

Hello, Mac.

Hi, Sammy.

These folks are looking for you.

Who are they? Never saw

them before in my life.

Honored sir,

surely you recognize

my daughter?

Oh, sure. That's right.

I've been expecting them.

Welcome, venerable sir.

It is a most

unexpected pleasure.

Okay, Sammy. But you better get them a

license if they're gonna sing in the streets.

Oh, sure, sure, Mac.

This way, please.

Okay, folks.

I was just keeping it warm.

Okay, kid.

Okay, I'll get you

all you can eat.

Right this way. Come on in.

I like American cooking.

American? That's the best

Chinese food in San Francisco.

Clever people,

these Americans.

The American cuisine

is over 2,000 years old.

Why didn't you let me know

you were coming?

We were unable

to let anyone know.

We were smuggled

ashore tonight.

Smuggled?

You mean you got in illegally?

If we came here

under the quota,

it would take 10 years,

and I would be too old

to get married.

I'm a dead duck,

Peking-style.

Listen, folks, you can't go roaming

around San Francisco. You're hot.

I gotta keep you on ice,

till I think up an angle.

I do not understand, Mr. Fong.

It is very simple, my father.

We are hot so he must keep us on ice.

What is wrong, Mr. Fong?

There's nothing wrong. You

just caught me at a bad time.

Are you sick? Oh, something

went down the wrong way.

You mean you are not prepared to

honor your proposal of marriage?

Who said anything

like that?

Sure, I'm gonna honor it.

I just want to settle

some old business first.

Sit tight. I'll be back

in a minute, folks.

Wait, baby. Hold it.

Baby, what's going on?

You and your picture bride.

Good-bye, Sammy,

you two-timing Sam.

Oh, that. Is that all?

All? As soon as you get rid

of that "old business"?

That's me, huh?

The old business.

It's a lie! Whoever

said anything like that?

You did!

I did?

Why would I say

a stupid thing like that?

I'll tell you why.

Never mind.

Oh, Linda,

let me handle this.

I know a family that's

looking for a bride,

and this kid's

exactly the type.

I'll unload her tomorrow.

Keep away from me.

I'm gonna unload you tonight.

Baby, you remember that new

convertible you've been drooling over?

Well, it's yours.

I don't want it.

Don't think you can bribe me

with expensive presents.

What?

Okay, I'll take it.

When do I get it?

I'll make the down payment

tomorrow morning.

Oh, Sammy.

You're the most considerate

friend a girl ever had.

Hello?

Is this

the Ping Wah Supermarket?

This is Madam Liang, I

would like to place my order.

How is your octopus today?

Oh, it isn't?

Then send me four pounds of seahorse,

two pounds of dried snake meat

and a box of longevity noodles.

Oh, yes, and a dozen

thousand-year eggs.

And be sure they're fresh.

Right.

Excuse me, ladies. I had to place

my order before the store closes.

Whose turn is it?

Hello, Madam Liang.

Can I talk to you for a

minute? It's very important.

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