Flutter Page #2

So, how much?

Keep the change.

What?

"Congratulations, John.

Hope you like champagne.

Enjoy yourself. Stan. "

Who's Stan?

It's the bookie

I took to the cleaners.

So, why is he sending you gifts?

She.

Stan's a woman.

And I've no idea.

So, you've been hanging about

with strange women, have you?

Should I be worried?

- No. She's fat and bald.

- Ha!

Hey, I'm not kidding.

She is.

We could go somewhere hot.

Yeah? Look at that.

Looks like

the Cook Islands.

Where is that again?

I've no idea.

I just saw it

on TV once.

Can we afford that?

Yeah.

Yeah, I reckon we can.

What?

What is this?

This is the reason

we're celebrating.

You don't recognize it?

No.

Yesterday morning.

Breakfast.

This is that

plastic apple?

Yeah.

And now it's gold.

It's a genuine lucky charm.

"Won at football, but lost

a packet on the horses.

I don't think the foreign ones run the same

as British horses. See you all soon. John. "

- Isn't that nice?

- Mmm.

Bad luck again, huh?

Hello, stranger.

- All right?

- All right. Your card arrived this morning.

- Yeah?

- You're not very brown.

Well, I'm not really the sunbathing

type. What you doing on trap five?

- I'll do you sixes.

- Go on then.

- Is that all you got left?

- Don't start.

- Thought my luck was out.

- Your luck's never been in, mate.

They're off!

I really thought that three

dog at the end was gonna do it.

I could have told you

that dog was going nowhere.

- Why didn't you then?

- 'Cause I'm a bookie, you moron.

Can't believe

how skint I am.

Mmm.

Me too.

Did you ever think of doing

something other than the dogs?

What do you mean?

We like the dogs.

Yeah. We go for the

atmosphere as well, you know.

- Yeah, the dogs are what we know best.

- - Mmm.

Well, you know yourselves,

don't you?

- Meaning?

- Meaning, would you bet on yourself?

I'm lost.

Do you know what this is?

It's the wonderfully named

ghost chili.

Hottest chili

known to man.

So?

So, I'm willing to bet that one

of you can't eat the whole thing...

without crying

or drinking water.

What kind of a bet

is that?

The kind of bet

I like to make.

You can count me out.

My tooth's giving me

enough trouble as it is.

How much?

200 pounds.

- What if we lose?

- Normally we'd agree to a stake.

But tonight

I'll waive it.

Chilies want to be eaten

so their seed can be spread.

But they want it

to be spread far and wide,

so it's no good if it's

eaten by a lazy mammal.

No, what a chili wants is to be

eaten by a bird, and it will be...

because birds

don't have taste buds.

Mammals, on the other hand, do, and

that's how we know you're a mammal.

Shame.

- Really thought

you were gonna do it.

That's when I should have

walked away from her.

But I love a challenge.

Narrator ] The female lays

her eggs in the shallows.

Next, the male releases

a cloud of sperm in the water.

We've all done that,

eh?

Dad.

Sorry, love.

Go on, Freddie. Switch over.

Draw's about to start.

Eh?

I don't know.

Not so long ago someone was

giving me a bloody lecture...

about how the lottery was, uh, just a tax on

the poor, the soft and the bloody desperate.

I wonder who that could be.

Yeah, well, you know how it is.

Announcer ] Good luck, everybody.

What happened to your big win?

It's long gone.

Since then I've had nothing.

Not a sniff.

Next, after six weeks, it's number

18. Second time in the last month...

- F***in' hell.

- What's the matter with you?

I think that dentist was better

at giving tips than fixing teeth.

You'd better ask him

for another bloody tip then.

I'm gonna have to go see him.

This is killing me.

One. None. None.

I'll call you, Dad. See you later.

Don't forget to take your

pills. All right, love.

See ya, Freddie. Good night,

John. Good night, love.

Hello, John.

What a surprise.

What are you doing here?

One of the paradoxes of being a

bookie is that when I'm doing well,

my friends must be

doing badly.

The dentist wasn't

a very good gambler.

Yeah, well,

he was a terrible dentist.

So what?

You own this place now?

It's amazing the things

you can win in a bet, huh?

Yeah, well, I'm in agony.

So what am I gonna do?

Why don't you start

by walking me home?

Are you coming?

Did you win this

as well?

Not everybody

gets invited here, John.

What's all this?

Don't you watch

the news?

Forty-two children held hostage by

a 300-pound disgruntled janitor...

with an AK-47.

For them, it's a tragedy.

For others, it's an opportunity.

I don't follow.

Currently taking spread bets on the

number of children that get shot,

the number

that get out alive,

how many hours the whole thing

goes on for, that sort of thing.

That's sick, Stan.

It's a sick world,

John.

How's that tooth?

It really hurts.

Only feels like

it's hanging on by a thread.

Really?

Think you could

pull it out yourself?

What?

Would you pull your tooth

out yourself right now?

No. Don't be silly.

I'm not pulling my tooth out.

Not even for 1,000?

No. That's stupid.

Okay.

Make it 2,000.

What's it to be, John?

Are you a serious gambler or just an

amateur who can't handle a little pain?

What would the stake

have to be?

I don't know. What's

that round your neck?

What, this?

It's just my lucky charm.

That'll do perfectly.

So what do you say?

I bet you 2,000...

that you can't pull

your tooth out right now.

You're on.

Oh, f***ing hell!

This is ridiculous.

It's 2,000, John.

F***!

F***!

Maybe it's not as damaged as they

thought. No, I'll... I'll get it.

Just give me a minute.

Oh, f***!

Well done, John.

Well done.

Now, on these special bets, there are

just three little rules I need to go over.

Rules?

Yes.

These bets, they stay

private between us.

You don't tell

Adrian or Wagner.

Especially not your wife.

But I don't lie

to Helen.

So don't think of it as lying. Think of

it as being economical with the truth.

- Go on.

- I pick the stake.

Okay.

And you cheat on a bet,

you lose. Understand?

Yeah.

Got it.

Don't you want

your tooth?

No, you're all right.

Keep it.

F***ing hell.

F***.

Hello, John. This is unexpected,

eh? Everything all right?

Yeah, yeah. No,

everything's fine, Freddie.

I just came to give you

this. Don't piss it away.

- I don't understand, lad.

- You told me to go back to the dentist.

He gave you a winning tip?

Yeah, sort of.

Well, I'm up again.

Come down the track

with me and celebrate.

No, I'm fine. But you go

and have a good time.

Well, thanks for that.

You sure?

Yeah. Good night.

All right?

All right.

So what have you

gone for?

He's not telling.

What do you mean,

he's not telling?

He's not telling anyone what he's

bet on. He's decided it's unlucky.

That didn't work,

did it?

Eighty on the six dog.

Go! Come on!

Come on!

But it wasn't just

Adrian's luck that was out.

I couldn't pick a winner

to save my life.

Sixty

on the three dog.

Night after night.

Race after race.

I'd never seen

anything like it.

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