Flutter Page #3

None of us had.

Taking a beating again

tonight.

We all are.

Might as well rip up the form book and

just go with the one with the best name.

I thought that's how

you usually bet.

- At least I don't get money from my mother to come down here.

- She asked me to bet for her.

Yeah, she'd do anything

to get you out the house.

- Don't you say anything about my mother.

- Or what, chili boy? Huh?

Or what?

Jesus, what the f*** have you

done? Where's all your hair gone?

If you must know, my cousin's

learning hairdressing,

and she needed a model,

and, well,

she's got a lot to learn.

Shut it, the pair of you.

It's all right, mate. It's

all right. Keep your hair on.

F*** off.

What can I say? That

last race was so close.

Uh, yeah.

Look, I was wondering if we could,

um, do one of those other bets.

Are you sure

that's what you want?

Well, any chance of doing something a

lot less painful than pulling a tooth out.

There's all different

kinds of pain.

Question is, what can

you put up as a stake?

Well, I've been

thinking about that.

What about my car?

I mean, it's not great, but it's taxed

till the end of the year and it runs okay.

No. Don't really want

a car. Thanks though.

I want something

a little more personal.

Something that actually

has some value to it.

Know what I mean?

Not really, no.

What sort of things did

you get as wedding gifts?

Wedding gifts?

Against a week in the bathroom?

Now that was the kind of bet

I could win.

John?

John?

John?

John?

Good morning, John.

Come down

and let us in.

You don't catch me out

that easy.

Hang on.

Bruno here is gonna make

me a copy of your key...

so I can come around

and check on you.

- Well, I... - Don't worry.

I'll give it back when the bet's done.

I'm gonna

use your toilet.

So, how's it been so far?

Oh, you know,

just, uh, dandy, Stan.

Up until now, that is.

Yeah, sorry. He could use

some work on his social skills.

Don't worry.

Nearly done.

F***ing hell.

You're still here. Do you

want me to ring the doctor?

No, it's all right.

So get out the bathroom then.

- I can't.

- Why not? I thought you were better.

Well, I just can't.

It's, uh... It's my stomach.

So let me ring the doctor.

No. It's all right, love.

I've just got the shits.

I'll be back late.

Don't wait up.

- Watch it. You'll break a window.

- Where have you been?

Well,

I've been sick.

So?

- You coming to the track tonight

then or what? - No, I can't. I told you.

Helen doesn't think

you're that sick.

Well, I am.

Ah, please yourself.

Hello, John.

How the f***

did you get in here?

I've got a key. Remember? Just

here to see how you're doing.

Well, I'm going mental, Stan.

That's how I'm doing.

Did you really think sitting here

for a whole week would be that easy?

- You could give up if you want.

- No, you're all right.

I'm halfway through this one

and I'm gonna win it.

Mmm.

Well, I'm bored. How about a

side bet? Spice things up a bit.

All right.

What do you have in mind?

What about we get you out

of these stinky clothes?

Stan, I'm a married man.

I don't wanna

see you naked.

I wanna dress you up.

F*** off.

Come on. Just a little

role-play. No. No way. No.

Extra 500?

John?

Have you seen

the fruit bowl?

You know, the nice one

Mum got us for the wedding?

John?

I said, have you

seen the fruit bowl?

You know, the nice one

Mum got us for the wedding.

What the hell

have you done?

It's Wagner.

He was here this

afternoon with his cousin.

His cousin? Yeah. She's, uh...

She's doing her NVQ or HND or

whatever the f*** it is in styling.

And she needed another mug

to practice on.

Well, the poor girl hasn't

got a clue, obviously.

Wagner hasn't got a cousin.

- I don't know what's going on, but I don't like this.

- Nothing's going on. Honest.

- If you're lying to me... - I'm not

lying to you. I've been really sick, Helen.

Just get out

of my dress...

and get out of

the bloody bathroom.

No, Helen, wait.

Sh*t.

Don't worry.

She stepped out.

You know,

I'm impressed with you.

You did really well.

Here's the lovely fruit bowl

Helen's mother gave you.

The 2,000,

plus 500 for the makeover.

Now this bet's not due

to finish until midnight,

but I have another

rather pressing engagement.

So I'm gonna trust you to

stay here for four more hours.

Not gonna cheat now,

are you, John?

No. Course not.

I mean, I've got tons to do anyway.

Look at this place. It's a mess.

How are you finding

all the lying?

What lying?

I'm not lying.

Very good.

You're a natural.

She was right.

I was a natural.

And if I could win this, think

how much more I could take her for.

Hello?

Hey. Pavlin, Freddie?

Thanks.

Thank God.

What happened?

What happened?

He hadn't taken

his pills.

I'd only just picked up his new

prescription, but he couldn't find them.

God knows what he's done with them.

Oh, sh*t.

I-I'll be two seconds.

Evening, John.

Where are you?

- I'm in the bathroom, like I said I'd be.

- I'm sure you could prove it.

Well, uh, yeah.

Of course I can.

Go and flush the toilet.

Do what?

Go and flush the toilet.

Just to prove that you're

still in the bathroom.

Well, yeah, just give me a

minute. Let me get out the bath.

There.

You happy now?

Thanks, John.

That's all I needed.

Oh, before I go,

a bit of advice.

Don't take Adrian's killer

tip. That dog will lose.

Adrian's killer tip?

What dog?

Stan? Stan?

He will be all right,

won't he?

Yeah. Come on. Freddie's

tough. He'll be fine.

I didn't recognize him

lying there.

I've never seen him

so still.

I've never seen him

so quiet.

I know.

He can be a gobshite.

Yes, he's opinionated.

When I was young, he used

to take me down the track.

He was always arguing with the

bookies and getting thrown out.

Yeah.

Good memories.

Not all of them.

That life

took everything he had,

and now he's just

stuck in that room.

I don't want it

to happen to us.

No, don't be silly.

It won't.

It can't.

Remember

when we got married and...

you promised you'd always

be honest with me.

You swore that.

Yeah, I know.

So... what was going on

with the bathroom?

I just felt rotten all week.

Honest.

Hey.

You just have to trust me.

Sh*t.

I was looking for that.

Where was it?

Uh, yeah, babes.

I had to use it

to be sick in.

Sorry.

Lucky Trap.

You what?

Lucky Trap.

It's Adrian's

new thing.

Not telling anyone didn't work, so now he's

telling everyone. See if that changes his luck.

Well, I'm sharing the

love around, ain't I?

What did you get Lucky

Trap at? Six to one.

You missed out then. Stan's

offering seven to one now.

Didn't bet with Stan.

That's the next thing.

We're betting ABS.

What the f*** is ABS? Anyone But Stan.

Something's gotta break

this losing streak.

Don't forget.

Lucky Trap.

I'm telling you, it's the best tip

I've had in ages. It's a killer.

Evening, John.

So what's it gonna be?

You know what?

Think I'll give it

a miss.

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