Flutter Page #4

Smart choice.

Lucky Trap.

F***, f***, f***, f***, f***,

f***, f***, f***!

- It's all right, Ade. It's not your fault.

- It was a good tip.

I am so broke.

I put everything

on that dog.

Now I can't even afford

a f***ing pint.

- What are we gonna do?

- - I can always lend you a bit.

Tide you over

if you want.

How come you got

money left?

I didn't bet

on Lucky Trap.

What? What did you

bet on then?

Nothing.

You didn't bet

on anything? Why not?

Stan told me not to.

What?

Well, she told me

not to take your tip, mate.

Did she tell you

the dog would lose?

Yeah, she told me.

What, and you didn't

say anything?

You just let us come out here

like a pack of twats and lose it.

- You wouldn't have listened if I told you Stan said it.

- But that's not the point.

What is the f***ing point?

You just don't get it, do you?

It used to be the three of us, but

now it's just all about you and Stan.

Oh, come on, Ade, mate. It's

not like that. Yes, it is!

That's exactly what

it's f***ing well like.

It's not about us

anymore.

It's just all about her.

I've had enough.

Stop the car.

- What?

- Come on, Ade. I'm sorry.

Stop the f***ing car!

F***ing hell.

Adrian, mate.

Where are you going?

You disgust me.

I'd rather walk.

Adrian!

- F***'s sake.

- Leave him.

Why didn't you say something?

'Cause I know what he's like.

And 'cause he's right.

You should've told us.

All we can do now

is let him walk it off.

He'll be back

in the morning.

That was the last time

I ever saw Adrian alive.

Police reckon he wandered for about half

a mile or so until he got to the station.

There was no waiting room,

no toilet.

Reckon he went for a piss.

It's funny how one minute you're

sitting in the car with someone,

and the next they're gone.

Can't believe

he's actually in here.

Not much to show

for a life, is it?

It's what you call the origin

of the phrase "cleaned out. "

What do you mean,

"cleaned out"?

You know.

You know he wasn't

just betting on the dogs.

What do you mean?

Come off it, John.

I haven't got a cousin learning

hairdressing. You know that.

Mate, we shouldn't be

talking about this.

Why not?

'Cause of the rules?

Well...

Well, f*** the rules.

Adrian's dead.

I've had it with Stan.

Mate, it hasn't got

anything to do with Stan.

You can't talk about her

like that.

Can't I?

Maybe we just haven't got

to that stage with her yet.

It was an accident.

That's what

the police said. Right?

I'm not convinced.

She's odd, yes.

She's not gonna kill someone.

I've had enough

of her stupid bets.

I didn't hear you come in. Ah.

- How was it?

- You know. It was never gonna be a bundle of laughs.

Come here.

I'm so sorry.

I feel awful going out

and leaving you here.

Are you sure you don't want me to stay?

No. No, go out.

Have some fun.

Go see the girls.

You sure?

Yeah.

Yeah, I might go down the track

later. It's what he would have wanted.

You do that.

Okay.

Have fun.

Stan?

Hello?

Hello?

Stan?

Who the f*** are you?

John.

Who the f*** are you?

Raymond.

If this is another test,

you can piss right off.

I'm not budging.

Not now.

No. No.

I was looking for Stan.

The front door was open.

You're not trying

to make me move?

Honest.

What are you doing?

I'm not meant

to discuss it.

So it's a bet?

Jesus. Are you sitting

on an egg?

Of course. Why else would

I be on a tossing nest?

You've got to hatch it,

haven't you?

Yeah.

What is it?

Ostrich.

So why are you

making chicken noises?

Well, do you know what a

f***ing ostrich sounds like?

I'll do anything

to hurry it up.

How long does it take?

Average incubation period

is 42 days.

Forty-two days?

How long have you been on it?

Thirty-seven.

And I'm going insane.

I've got piles.

She won't even

give me a book to read.

I just sit

and cluck and knit.

What are you knitting?

A hare.

You know,

for the dogs.

It's nice.

Look, I don't know

why you're here,

but take my advice

and walk right now.

Don't look back.

She doesn't care

about money.

She just wants

to ruin your life.

While I'm here

on this egg,

my wife's giving birth

to our first kid.

I'm missing all that.

And Stan loves it.

I'm warning you.

She'll suck the life

out of you.

She's back.

Get out.

Get out

and shut the door.

- Why?

- Go. F*** off.

I'm not supposed

to see anybody.

Go on. F*** off.

F*** off!

Hello, John.

Make yourself at home.

I-I'm sorry. The, uh...

The front door was open.

You know, everyone thought

this siege would be over by now.

Not me.

Cleaning up now.

So, how are you, John?

I've been better.

Take it

you know about Adrian.

No.

Honestly,

you haven't heard?

No. No.

What happened?

We had an argument

coming back from the track,

after that dog

you said would lose did.

There was an accident,

and now he's dead.

So if you want to know how

I am, Stan, I'm a bit gutted.

It's a shame.

What...

Maybe you need something

to take your mind off of it.

I need five grand, Stan.

You know, money

never made anyone happy.

What would I have to do?

Has to be

something special.

Go on.

I bet I could

make you kiss me.

Is that all?

Yeah. That's all.

Well, how long

would I have to resist you?

Five minutes

should do it.

What, I don't kiss you for five minutes,

and you're gonna give me five grand?

Obviously the stake has

to be something meaningful.

Hello, John.

What are you doing

with my fish?

I popped round

to give you your key back.

And I saw the fish, so I

thought I'd bring them along.

Why?

So?

How about it, John?

Oh, no way.

They're Helen's.

I mean, she loves those fish.

I can't. No.

One fish. Five thousand

against one tiny goldfish.

I don't see

how you could lose.

Deal?

Deal.

Okay. Ready?

Look at me, John.

Just look at me.

You get me, John.

Now kiss me.

You held out

longer than most.

Good effort.

What...

However, we did have a deal.

Bruno, take your pick.

No, Bruno. Wait.

No! Wait.

Better luck next time.

Be seeing you around, John.

Shh.

What's up?

I got your message.

There's something

we need to talk about.

What is it?

Well, I was gonna tell you tonight,

but I decided it couldn't wait.

So tell me.

Well, maybe we haven't been as

careful as we could have been.

What do you mean?

I'm pregnant.

You're what?

We're gonna have a baby.

Oh, my God.

Is that... good?

Is that good? It's more

than good. It's amazing.

It's the greatest thing in the whole

world ever. I'm gonna be a father.

I'll have to give up work

for a while.

Oh, my God. Y...

Look, I've been thinking

anyway, you know,

maybe it's time

I got a proper job.

Something with a bit more

of a steady income.

Make sure it pays well.

I quite enjoy our luxuries

every now and again.

Yeah, I know,

but I'm gonna be a father.

Maybe I should take

a bit more responsibility.

Oh, God.

I've gotta get back.

Don't want 'em to sack me,

not now.

You have just made me the

happiest man in the world.

That's what you said

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