Flypaper Page #7

I asked him what he was doing

and he said he was trying to see

if there was enough room

for the new foreign currencies.

-Oh, my God, that's so weird.

-It is.

He would know when the system was down.

Oh, my God, he would.

Well, and of course, as he's had to tell us

multiple times, he's an expert

at bank-robbery procedure.

-You're right.

-But, Mr Blythe...

-What?

-...he is such a dork.

Anyone seen my glucose shot?

(SIGHING)

-Oh!

-KAITLIN:
Get a chair!

Oh, my gosh. Oh! You're gonna be okay.

Oh, my goodness.

Does anybody have any sugar? Rex?

No, I don't snack.

KAITLIN:
Okay, hold his head. Hold his head.

Fire! Fire!

Fire!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Where's the fire?

This man needs a glucose shot

and otherwise he's gonna die,

and I'm gonna go get it

and you can't stop me. Come on, everybody.

Okay, but where's the fire?

TRIPP:
So, do you work with

this Vicellous Drum guy a lot?

Yeah. We were decoys for him once.

He had us rob this Jiffy Lube

while he pulled this big heist downtown.

Bummer is this lube place

has got, like, no cash in it.

I mean, we scored like 80 bucks Canadian.

Hey! Oh, Mr Blythe is having a diabetic fit.

We have to find his shot.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Where's my gun?

Check under the ledges.

That's where we hid contraband in Joliet.

Stuck it under there with gum.

Wait. You're an ex-con

and you're guarding this bank?

Yeah. I might've taken

a few liberties on my resume. (LAUGHS)

-What were you in jail for?

-Not bank robbery.

I committed other victimless... You know?

-Mmm-hmm.

-Mail fraud. I did a lot of mail fraud.

Mmm-hmm.

-Fine, but they weren't even big banks.

-How many banks have you robbed?

A few dozen.

-Oh, my God.

-Relax.

I'm rehabilitated and sh*t.

So, what's your deal? You single?

TRIPP:
I think I found it.

KAITLIN:
Oh, my God.

Wow, his pulse has come back already.

(GASPS) He's starting to open his eyes.

REX:
He's a tough old bird.

-Wanna sit up?

-Ready?

All right, I'm closing this door

for the last time. Are we clear?

I said, is that clear, you f***ing c*nts?

Oh! Oh, I don't... I don't like that word.

-What did you just say?

-I don't like the C-word.

Now you try saying that one more time

and I'll out your...

I said I don't like the C-word!

And in America we never use it!

Oh, good, the f***ing hostages are armed.

He got the same type of gun

that you do, Jelly.

(CLEARS THROAT) That is my gun, dude.

I suppose you'll be needing this?

What the f*** is that?

That is our way out of here.

So what do you want, a cut?

A conversation outside. Let's go.

Hands over your heads, now!

Hands over your heads. Let's go, outside.

(ALL SHOUTING)

Calm down now, calm down,

you f***ing maniac. All right?

-Tell me about your point man.

-Why?

Unless you have something to barter with,

you will answer my f***ing questions!

All right, all right.

Weinstein was our liaison, all right?

-I never met our point man.

-How did you communicate?

-I'm not gonna tell you that.

-Do you wanna get out of here?

Do you wanna get out of here? Just do it!

-Answer the question!

-All right. Listen, listen. Look.

This fax was all we got, all right?

Now, I'll trade you for the Clicker.

All right, there it is.

-Nice and slow.

-All right, stand up!

-Now give me the Clicker. Give me the clicker.

-Here's the clicker.

All right.

-Now give me the f***ing gun.

-Whoa! Now, that's Jelly's gun.

It was his mother's.

Your mother's gun?

Your mother gave it to you?

All right, I'm sorry. All right.

What, are you giving the

f***ing hostages your gun now, eh?

-No, I didn't...

-Are you a f***ing...

Have you lost your f***ing marbles?

You just lost your gun privileges. Go on.

Go on.

Jesus. And you.

If I hear one more f***ing peep

out of you, one,

-then you're a dead man, all right?

-All right.

-Now get your arse back in there.

-All right, thank you.

I'm in.

Jesus.

Now let's get back to work.

-Oh, my God!

-What is that all about?

I just traded the key out of here for this fax!

-And that's a good trade?

-I don't know. That's why I kept the battery.

Look.

Listen. Mr Blythe told me that he saw Rex

measuring the inside of the safe,

and I noticed that when I asked for the chair,

Swiss Miss brought it right over.

Speaking of Swiss Miss...

Hey, Swiss Miss is missing.

Oh, my God, it's happening.

-It's happening.

-What is happening?

-it's happening.

-What?

The faxes. The night-vision goggles.

-Oh, my God, the f***ing faxes. The goggles.

-What are you talking about?

-1 55, 70...

-Tripp, stop counting.

-Those faxes... The gun... Huh?

-Tripp, stop! Stop!

-What?

-Why the f*** did you do that?

Because I thought it would

help clear your mind.

No, it doesn't work like that!

For f***'s sake.

I got 8,000 things going on

in my mind right now,

and I have to think about the kiss, too?

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God, my brain is gonna explode!

Oh, God!

(WHIMPERING)

The dude's crazy but he is very gifted.

I know. He is a bona fide criminal mastermind.

We're blessed.

Can we help you?

Yeah. Get you, you know, like a diet soda?

Will you please just go anywhere else?

One hour left.

We're gonna make it here, team. I told you.

So far the only people

that have been killed are criminals.

And they can all go f***ing kill each other,

for all I care.

We're survivors.

Or as I like to call us, hero-vivors

Everyone, starting tomorrow,

you are getting one week's paid vacation.

Son of a b*tch. I already got next week off.

Well, then, we're gonna have to

give you another week.

Thank you.

We're not safe yet.

You're that upset

that you were wrong and I was right?

No. Oh, no!

(KAITLIN SHRIEKS)

Oh, my God! Oh, God.

TRIPP:
Wait. Whats that in her bra?

MR CLEAN:
I'll get it!

(ALL PROTESTING)

-Okay.

-Do it.

Oh, this is really gross.

TRIPP:
Go ahead. Pull it. Pull it out. Nice.

BOTH:
She works at a Swiss bank?

(DOOR OPENING)

Oh, man. What a waste.

PEANUT BUTTER:
It's like extra sad

when a hot chick dies.

When a ugly chick dies, it's like,

their life probably sucked anyway,

so it's no big deal.

But when a hot chick dies,

it's, like, totally tragic.

I know, I mean, hot chicks,

they're like unicorns or leprechauns.

They're rare and they're precious

and they need to be protected.

-Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

-What?

This is not a robbery.

This is not a robbery! This is not a robbery!

You're a f***ing dead man.

Hakuna matata, motherf***er!

(CLICKING)

Just hear me out

and I will return your firing pin.

All right, yeah.

These are the two faxes

inviting both your teams to rob this bank.

This is a fax inviting Swiss Miss here.

They're all completely different

except each one has a blemish

that appears every 3.2 inches.

It is made when the printing drum

has a scratch on it.

-I don't get it.

-Me neither.

Each one was printed by the same machine?

You were all invited here by the same person.

The same person, who?

-Vicellous Drum.

-MADGE:
Who's Vicellous Drum?

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