Fools Rush In Page #4

My great grandmother

is famous for them.

Alex, you have

to come with me one day.

You'd love it there. There are

no phones, no electricity, no people.

No kidding?

There's a spot in the middle

of Central Park...

the Bethesda Fountain.

If you sit there long enough,

the entire city walks by.

And I know of this one canyon...

that if you sit there long enough,

nobody finds you and you die.

Really?

I could not believe it!

The whole night...

he kept changing the subject

to New York this, New York that.

What do you expect?

His life is not your life.

- I thought you were on my side.

- He has a family to support.

He can do that here.

We can do it together.

Marriage is about finding

a middle ground.

You have to learn

to pick your battles.

- I sure picked one this morning.

- What did you do?

Nothing! I just had the guys drop by

to take him shooting.

Alex is alone with your brothers?

And Chuy.

I better light another candle.

Isabel said there are some

pretty interesting canyons up here.

One in particular

where people go to die.

That's the other way, right?

What's this about

you taking Isabel to New York?

That's just an idea.

There's nothing carved in stone.

She won't go.

I'd bet my life on it.

Shucks, Juan. Nobody here expects

someone to give up his life.

Do they, Chuy?

What are you going to be?

Isabel Fuentes? Isabel Whitman?

Or are you doing a Hillary

and be Isabel Fuentes-Whitman?

That's Mrs. Alex Whitman to you.

Pardon me.

I'm sorry. Excuse me.

Excuse me a moment.

I didn't mean to eavesdrop,

but I couldn't help but overhear.

Did you just say Alex Whitman?

From New Canaan, Connecticut?

I think that's where he's from.

Late 20s, about six feet tall,

dark hair, talks a lot with his hands?

That's him.

I'm sorry. I'm Cathy Stewart.

Our families are very old friends.

You're kidding?

That's fantastic!

I really don't know any of his friends,

so I am so glad to meet you.

I'm Isabel.

And this is Lanie.

I've missed Alex the last trips

out here. He's always so busy.

How do you know him?

I'm his wife.

I beg your pardon?

Alex and I, we're married.

And they're gonna have a baby.

A baby? Really?

Congratulations.

Isn't this a surprise?

This is some backyard.

I can see why you like it up here.

Must've been fun growing up.

You know, all these rocks...

the open space, the view...

the birds.

The snakes.

Do not move.

Everybody, do this on three.

Ready?

- Wait.

- One.

- What are we doing on three?

- Two.

- What happens on three?

- Three!

Stop! Stop!

I'm coming!

Lucy, you got some explaining to do.

Oh, my God!

What did you do to him?

He fell into some cactus.

A lot of cactus.

We gave him Tequila for the pain.

The desert made a big impression on him.

I told you to make it special, idiot!

Not to kill him.

Get the hell out of here!

You, too. Come on.

Baby?

Honey?

Whatever you do,

don't turn over.

I'm going to get the tweezers.

I'm confused.

If babies can only see

in black and white, then how come...

that Barney guy is purple?

Dinosaurs come later.

Don't sit there.

I'm doing the floors next.

Again?

I read about this.

This is the "nesting period."

It must be because I can't seem

to get this place clean enough.

Come here.

- I'm sorry. Poor baby.

- There's one still in there.

Then we'll have to take these pants off

so I can take a closer look.

Whatever you say, Doctor.

I forgot to tell you.

I ran into an old friend of yours.

- Cathy something.

- Cathy Stewart?

Really? When?

Last week,

the same day as the cactus.

I think she's jealous.

Really?

I'll get it.

Coming!

- Surprise!

- Mom! Dad!

I wanted to call first.

This was her idea.

I spoke to Cathy. She said to get

out here, see what you were up to.

She insisted!

What the hell is that?

A squirrel?

- Who is it?

- I got it, hon.

Now that is what I call a housekeeper.

Did we come at a bad time?

She's cleaning the oven,

and the fumes are...

You're here.

You're really here.

- Hi.

- Hello.

Alex, aren't you

going to introduce us?

Yes. Yes.

This is...

- Isabel.

- Isabel. Right.

Right.

It's nice to meet you.

I'm Alex's mother, Mrs. Whitman.

And this is Mr. Whitman.

Oh, my God!

You're his parents.

Oh, my God!

Look at me. I'm a mess.

It's so great to finally meet you.

Please, come in, come in.

Very friendly.

You must be exhausted.

Did you just get in?

- Would you like a drink?

- That is a great idea.

You get the drinks.

I love you.

- And I'll think of something.

- Who wants a cold beer?

- Terrific.

- I'd love one.

Don't tell them anything

until I come back.

She is wonderful!

There must be a lot of good help

around here, being so close to Mexico.

- Such a warm people.

- Isn't this a company house?

You would think they could afford

a decent decorator.

Dad, Mom,

why don't you sit down?

What's this?

Is something wrong?

Yes. I have to tell...

Isabel where the bottle opener is.

How was Europe?

Boy, you came back soon.

Europe?

Alex said you were gone

for the summer.

You know better than that.

We hate Europe in the summer.

- Too many tourists.

- Europe in the summer.

You lied to me...

all this time.

- What does that mean?

- It means you're a liar and a coward.

Sounded prettier in Spanish.

Would you excuse me a minute?

Sounds like somebody's

about to get fired.

- Isabel, I was going to tell them.

- When?

- After the baby was born?

- I didn't want to do it on the phone.

My father won't even speak to me,

but I went there.

I told him the truth.

But you don't have the balls to phone

and let them know what's going on.

My family's not like yours.

I never see them or talk to them.

Excuses! Excuses! Excuses!

You should have told them!

I wanted to do it in person!

Why is that hard for you to understand?

Here's your big chance.

Mom, Dad...

I have some interesting

and exciting news.

I'd like you to meet Isabel Fuentes...

Whitman.

Oh, my God.

I let these people come, didn't I?

That doesn't mean I have to like it.

- Mama, do something.

- Why are you being so difficult?

Because as far as I'm concerned...

these people are not her in-laws

because she's not married.

And if she's not married,

she has no in-laws.

So why am I celebrating

the Cinco de Mayo with strangers?

They're strangers because

you won't talk to them.

Tomas, either you act

like the man I married...

or tonight you sleep

with the dogs.

I hope you have

plenty of lotion on.

The desert sun kicks off this water

like a mirror.

No, I think if we stay in the shade,

we'll be fine.

Suit yourselves.

Pity you didn't bring suits.

Yes. Well,

we didn't exactly plan for this.

Jesus Christ, is it hot!

Seor, I would like

to tell you something.

I do not believe these kids

have a clue...

what they are getting into.

I couldn't agree with you more.

- Really?

- Absolutely.

Marriage is a serious commitment.

I happen to think

that it's terribly romantic.

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