Footlight Parade Page #2

Hello? Yes, all right, wait a minute.

Hold on.

The Gay Nineties unit

calling from Kansas City.

The park number runs too long.

All right, I'll talk to him.

Hello? Hello, cut out your first chorus

and open up with your second.

That'll fix it, won't it? All right, fine.

Two units came in yesterday,

finished their tour.

Say, you're slowing up.

Haven't sent out a unit this week.

We're getting two next week.

That is if I can stay out

of the laughing academy that long.

I put a peach into rehearsal yesterday.

Prosperity idea.

- Ring Harry for me, will you?

- Skulking Thompson?

- What have you got against him?

- Just don't like him, that's all.

Sometimes I get the feeling

you don't like anybody.

If you only knew.

Come in.

- Hello, Bea.

- Hello, Nan.

Good morning, Mr. Kent.

- Where's Thompson?

- Out for a few minutes.

He'll be out for life

if he doesn't stick closer to business.

Gould signed 30 more theaters.

That means I've got to think

of three new prologues a week.

Dust off the straightjacket, baby,

we'll need it.

You'll need it.

Mr. Kent, about the bridesmaid unit,

we're short six mirrors.

Well, take the-

Yeah?

What?

Wait a minute.

- More trouble.

- What is it?

Theater in Savannah burned down,

costumes and scenery ruined.

Never a dull moment.

- The soldier girl unit?

- Yeah.

This is their last week.

Why not bring them in?

That's right.

Hello, this is your last week, isn't it?

Bring them in,

we'll put them in something else.

What?

A nice, big coffin,

and I'll lie down alongside.

There's a girl for you.

- What kind of a girl?

- With brains!

You can buy beautiful women

a dime a dozen.

- She's got up here.

- So have I.

- What?

- A headache.

Always the rap.

Here's Old Man River.

- Hey, Chester!

- Not Harry Thompson?

Yeah, with a peach of an idea for a unit.

Now get this...

all the girls come in

dressed as different flowers.

Then for a finish, the leading lady

is the American Beauty rose.

Stop, you're killing me.

I almost fell out of my cradle

when the Shuberts did it back in 1912.

- What a memory.

- Old Faithful, I calls it.

Hoofers like elephants never forget, baby.

Here, Harry, here's a cat idea.

Get it started right away.

Yeah? Yeah, this is Kent.

All right, I'll fix it.

The Iceland unit's in trouble,

cupidal man married the leading lady.

And they're both in the hospital.

That's quick work.

Listen, Nan, send a new boy and girl in

right away.

Make sure they're not

in love with each other.

Get a couple already married.

- Say, Gould wants to see you.

- Nothing strange about that.

- This cat thing ain't bad.

- Well, keep it that way.

Nan, there's some notes down there on a

jigsaw puzzle unit and a willow tree idea.

- Type them up, will you?

- I will.

American Beauty rose.

He said only the cat idea.

Yeah?

Why should we give him a job?

What can he do?

Why, Scott's a lovely singer and dancer.

Isn't he, Si?

Why, he won his spurs in college shows.

Oh, dear, dear Mr. Kent, for my sake,

now I implore you-

Now, Harriet, don't get excited.

You know what the doctor said.

Say, there's an idea, Si. A doctor unit.

The girls, doctors, and the boys, patients.

The girls give the boys a shot in the arm

and they go into a big dance, like this.

- Divine, simply divine.

- Like the idea?

Oh, it's a beautiful idea.

Oh, now you see, dear Mr. Kent...

Scott is my protg and Scott is such

a dear boy, with the sweetest tenor voice.

Oh, please, please, Mr. Kent!

- Pardon me.

- Sorry.

Mr. Gould is very busy.

I'll say he's busy.

They're talking about me.

That shouldn't take very long.

I'm gonna work here.

Mrs. Gould is giving Kent the good news.

Really? Well, as far as I know,

we have all the office boys we need.

I'm a singer, starred in two shows

at Arkansas College.

Rah, rah.

Our shows play in theaters, not colleges.

Why, he's waiting outside.

Ready and eager to start his career.

Your mistake.

Mr. Kent will be delighted to engage you.

Mr. Kent, I want you to meet Mr. Blair.

- How do you do, sir?

- Oh, it's your great opportunity!

Thanks, Harriet.

Well, I must say adieu now.

I've gotta go see Si about a check.

Come with me

and I'll put you in the cat unit.

- That's keen.

- Don't be so optimistic.

- Meow.

- Meow.

- Hello, Fannie.

- My name's Myrtle, Mr. Kent.

Myrtle?

Come on, girls.

All right, that's good.

One, two, three, four, five, six,

seven, eight. Once again.

One, two, three, four, five, six.

Hold it!

- Got a new boy for you, Mac.

- I don't need him.

Neither did I but I caught him.

He's yours, now.

Sit down.

In springtime, in fall time

I face the sun at all times

I'm one step ahead of my shadow

It's faithful and noble

The deuce of all my troubles

I'm having a jolly time

Traveling the world and I'm

One step ahead of my shadow

Hold it, hold it!

What's the matter now?

This number's as dead

as Chelsea's tonsils.

I worry about this and I worry about that-

Yeah, I know.

You got the kids looking worried, too.

This is a prosperity unit.

Some life and some pep.

Dance on your feet, don't die on them.

Here's the way to attack that finish.

Come on, let's go.

- You got it?

- Yeah.

- Sure.

- All right. Then do it.

I get it, but I got too much

on my shoulders.

It's all her fault.

She gives me absolutely nothing.

How can we look prosperity when he's

got depression all over that pan of his?

There, you see, Mr. Kent?

See what I'm up against?

I'm afraid if this keeps up

I'll have to resign.

You and me both. But until we do,

keep on working, will you?

Come on, let's do it.

All right now, come on.

Give us a pickup there. Come on. Right!

It's faithful and noble

The deuce of all my troubles

I'm having a jolly time

Traveling the world and I'm

One step ahead of my shadow

Now what?

We'll have to call off the prosperity unit.

Gladstone just put one on.

I slave day and night worrying about ideas

and Gladstone steals them.

He's been doing it for months.

- All right, girls, let's try it again.

- No, call it off. Prosperity unit's out.

That's all, girls. You're excused. What's in?

The cat number. We'll put it in rehearsal

right away and you're it.

I don't know anything about cats.

I never had a cat.

I've got one for you. It's up in my office.

Yeah, but what'll I do with it?

Go up and get him. Make a pal of him.

Study his movements.

Oh, no, listen, I'm an animal trainer,

not a dance director.

Oh, no, I'm a dance trainer,

not an animal...

You got me so worried

I don't know what I am.

I got bad news for you, Chester.

You can't use the cat idea.

You're gonna start to tell me

what I can and what I can't use.

It's my job to see that our prologues

fit in with the censor's regulations.

I'm only doing my duty.

Oh, I see, the tomcats

and the pussycats are all right.

- But the kittens are illegitimate.

- They certainly are.

Unless they're married by a preacher cat.

No preacher cat, no kittens.

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