Footlight Parade Page #3

No, you can't use it in 39 cities.

Well, I've got some bad news for you.

You're fired.

You can't fire me. Mrs. Gould's my sister.

I don't care if she's your Aunt Minnie.

Get out of here and stay out.

- Yeah, we'll see about that.

- Get out of here!

Get that cat out of here.

You don't suppose I want him in here,

do you?

Now I got cats to worry about.

I better quit, huh?

We'll go into that later, sweetheart.

Mr. Kent, I have here got all the cat music

from our library.

- Anything good?

- Yeah, sure.

"Cat and the Fiddle, Kitten on the Keys,

You are the Cats...

"Cats on Parade, Cat's Meow, Crazy Cat...

"Pussycat, Pussycat,

Where Have You Been?

"Me and My Cat Both Love You,

and Love Me and Love My Cat. "

- Thompson just came in.

- Well, stall him till I get there.

Get Kitten on the Keys

right over to Francis...

and make an orchestration

of Cats on Parade in B flat.

- Cats on Parade in B flat.

- Children!

Children, gather around.

I want you to watch this cat.

So I'm giving you some advice.

Go out and find yourself a nice, new job.

I got one.

- Oh yeah?

- Yeah.

From now on my business address is

General Director, Gladstone Prologues.

Well, that's fine. After they fire you...

you can put on your dance

at the Old Soldier's Home.

The gate's open.

Gladstone.

- I bet that's our leak.

- I bet you're right.

Why, that dirty lowdown...

Oh, well.

He'll wind up checking soldiers

when he has to think of his own ideas.

He's full of them.

Like American Beauty rose.

Say, you know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna keep a half a dozen

of the chorus people here as models.

Teach the new kids the steps. Like it?

Yes, I do. Say, I'll tell you somebody

who'd be swell for a job like that.

- Who?

- Bea Thorn.

- No, too valuable where she is.

- But she's a swell dancer.

- Used to do a turn in vaudeville.

- No, I don't think she'd be interested.

Whatever you say, boss.

- Listen, kid, I'm checking out.

- If you go, dear, so do I.

No, I want you to stick.

I've got a special reason.

But I'll never see you.

Yes, you will. We'll have dinner tonight.

Meet me at my place at 7:00.

I'll tell you how you can help me.

Dear Mr. Kent, I promised my father

I'd always look after Charlie.

Think it over, will you, Chester?

All right, all right. Take him back.

Only keep away from me

or I'll sock you right in your blue nose.

And don't you dare let him fire

any more of my relatives.

Come along, Charlie.

One, two, three, four.

Hold it, hold it, hold it.

These are cats, not elephants.

This is about what I want.

Look, watch carefully.

Oh, I get it.

No, I want that certain rhythm.

That certain rhythm,

it's preying on my mind.

What you've got to do is watch that cat.

I hate cats. I can't get away from him.

I've done everything but sleep with him.

Well, sleep with him. You've gotta get it.

Now go to work.

All right, girls, now please,

pay attention, will you?

- I want you to get this. Now watch me.

- Hold it, Mac, hold it.

- Now, watch!

- Hold it!

The Egyptian unit just came in, 29 people.

Call them for rehearsal

tomorrow morning.

We'll put them in the mechanical doll unit.

You must put brassieres on those dolls.

You know Connecticut.

What do they have to do

in Massachusetts?

Wear red flannel drawers?

Rehearsal's off.

Call them back at 8:00 tonight.

Rehearsal's over, kids.

Back at 8:
00 tonight.

- Hello. Say, did you see me dancing?

- Do you crochet, too?

No, not me, but I got a tenor voice

people come miles to hear.

Here's a sample of it:

Sweet Adeline

Hey, wait a minute. What's the matter?

Don't you like it?

You must've gone over big

at Arkansas College.

Well, I guess you don't appreciate me.

Oh, no? Well, here comes someone

who does. Mrs. Gould, he's waiting.

Oh, Scott, dear. I'm just in time.

Yep, just in time.

A wet nurse to an alley cat.

Closing time.

Yeah, another day, another gray hair.

Wonder what it's getting me.

- You're a one-third partner, aren't you?

- Yep. My third does all the work.

While the other two-thirds

drag down the money.

Yeah. Maybe it's better

to be one of the help.

I'm supposed to be getting

a percentage of the profits.

But so far everything's gone

back into production.

So they say.

Why don't you do some investigating?

I'm too busy.

I'm daffy trying to think up new ideas.

We've done everything.

"Soldier Girl Unit, Bull Fighters,

Blue Girls...

"Ghost, Baby Dolls, Voo-Doo,

Russian Revolution. "

There's nothing left in the world.

A unit a week.

Where am I going to get any more ideas?

When I do get them,

Gladstone steals them.

I'm falling apart.

Why don't you get something to eat

and go right home?

No, I can't. I gotta stay and dovetail

all this cat unit stuff.

If I promise to take him home with me,

will you go right to bed?

It's a bargain.

Say, what's the name of that foreigner

that built the monster he couldn't stop?

Frankenstein.

Shake hands with his Aunt Emma.

Good night.

Frankenstein. Swell idea for a unit.

That looks vaguely familiar.

Bonsoir, Nanette.

- Vivian!

- I got the janitor to let me in.

I knew you wouldn't mind

putting me up for a day or two.

- I thought you were in Hollywood.

- I was.

The pictures bored me.

So little culture out there, my dear.

- What is this culture gag all of a sudden?

- I beg your pardon?

Now, relax, will you?

I said, "All of a sudden. "

Last time I saw you, your conversation

was practically dese, dems, and doses.

We grow up, you know.

What was it Professor Malanoff said?

"Life is... "

- "Life is... "

- Just a bowl of cherries?

- No, but that's a very interesting thought.

- Nerts.

Yeah, sure I love you.

But now listen, give me the dope.

What's happening at Frazer and Gould's?

They're rehearsing a new act.

The girls dress like mechanical dolls

and the boys wind them up.

Mr. Kent got the idea today.

Swell. Move it, babe,

while I give it to Gladstone.

Remember now, you can only stay

till Aunt Clara...

or somebody or something

comes through.

- Who is it?

- Kent. I wanna talk with you.

Just a minute. You answer the door.

Come in, won't you?

Be right out. The girl is Miss Rich.

Vivian, Mr. Kent.

- How do you do?

- How do you do?

In California, I never missed

a Chester Kent Prologue.

They were all so... What shall I say?

Intellectually devised.

I'm glad you liked them, Miss Rich.

I wouldn't call them exactly intellectual.

You're just modest.

Every one had a definite central theme.

Brains, you know.

- Maybe you're right at that.

- Anything special?

I got some new ideas on that cat stuff,

wanted the outline.

It's on the desk.

Most prologues, Mr. Kent,

are utterly commonplace.

But yours, yours have meaning.

What was it Ruskin said?

"That intangible something. "

Oh, Vivian? What ever happened

to that boyfriend of yours?

Is he still a bootlegger?

- Nan is so bourgeois at times.

- Swell gal, though, works like a slave.

Speaking of that, I was reading a most

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