For Better or For Worse Page #2

I KNOW,

BUT WHOO!

HE IS GORGEOUS.

AND YOU ARE:

HAPPILY MARRIED.

MM-HMM,

BUT NO HARM IN DREAMING.

I JUST DON'T KNOW WHY COLLIN

WOULDN'T HAVE SIMPLY CALLED ME

AND TOLD ME ABOU A NEW GIRLFRIEND

RATHER THAN JUST SHOW UP

WITH THIS... THIS SOPHIA...

AND WHAT DO WE KNOW

ABOUT THIS SOPHIA?

NOTHING.

THAT'S THE POINT.

[WOMAN]:
IF HE WANTS A FIGHT,

I'LL GIVE HIM A FIGHT!

YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU-- YOU WILL GIVE HIM A FIGHT.

HEY, THE McDOUGALS,

THEY BOOKED THEIR APPOINTMENT.

WHO?

THE McDOUGALS!

WHAT IS GOING ON OVER THERE?

[CLIENT]:
YOU KNOW HOW

HARD I HAVE TO WORK?

THEY CAN'T BE YELLING

LIKE THAT.

I CAN'T EVEN HEAR MYSELF THINK!

MAYBE THIS DIVORCE

ISN'T SO AMICABLE?

I WORKED AND WORKED AND WORKED!

ALL OF THE THINGS I DID

FOR HIM,

AND ALL THE STUPID PARTIES

I THREW FOR HIM...

COULD THIS DAY:

GET ANY WORSE?

[CLIENT, SCREAMING]:

IT'S NOT FINE! IT'S NOT FINE!

[DOORBELL RINGS]

HEY, BABY.

HI!

WHERE'S YOUR DAD?

HE'S COMING

RIGHT BEHIND ME.

HI, MRS. HAMPTON.

THIS IS FOR YOU.

IT'S JUST A LITTLE DESSER I MADE.

[COLLIN]:
YOUR VEGAN

PROFITEROLES!

THAT'S MY FAVORITE.

OH, WELL, THANK YOU,

BUT IT WASN'T REALLY NECESSARY.

EXCUSE ME,

JUST A CALL WITH A CLIENT.

DAD, THIS IS MY

BOYFRIEND, COLLIN.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

THIS IS HIS GRANDFATHER, RAY.

RAY.

AND HIS MOTHER, WENDY.

UH, RIGHT... I...

THINK WE'VE...

ALREADY MET.

WE HAVE?

UH, HOPE YOU LIKE RED.

YOU'RE SOPHIA'S FATHER?

[QUIETLY] I JUST GOT WORSE.

[BRIGHTLY] DAD, WILL

YOU SHOW THEM INSIDE?

[RAY]:
FOLLOW ME.

LET ME GE THE DOOR FOR YOU.

COLLIN, LET ME SPEAK TO YOU.

LOOK, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

WHY AREN'T YOU IN SCHOOL?

AND WHAT IS WITH THIS SOPHIA

AND HER DAD?

MOM, TRUST ME,

IT'S ALL GOING TO BE OKAY.

[MARCO]:
SOPHIA.

THANKS, DAD.

-THANK YOU.

-OH!

OKAY.

TA-DAH!

VEAL PARMIGIANA!

COLLIN, YOUR FAVORITE!

WONDERFUL!

YOU COOK ITALIAN?

I TRY.

MOM, I ALREADY TOLD YOU...

WE'RE VEGANS.

REMEMBER?

OH, DON'T BE SILLY.

THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN

YOUR FAVORITE.

NO, REALLY, MOM.

SOPHIA AND I,

WE CAN'T EAT THIS.

IT'S NOT WHA WE BELIEVE IN.

BUT THE SALAD:

LOOKS DELICIOUS.

ARE THOSE:

HEIRLOOM TOMATOES?

SOPHIA, DARLING,

WE'RE GUESTS.

JUST PLEASE EA WHATEVER'S SERVED.

PLUS, A LITTLE MEA IS HEALTHY FOR YOU.

ACTUALLY, DAD,

IT'S MUCH HEALTHIER THIS WAY.

AND I FEEL GREAT.

IN FACT, I'VE NEVER BEEN BETTER.

WELL, WENDY'S VEAL PARMIGIANA'S

ALWAYS BEEN MY FAVORITE.

[COLLIN LAUGHS]

SO, MOM,

HOW DO YOU AND MR. AMORINI

KNOW EACH ANOTHER?

WELL, APPARENTLY, MR. AMORINI

IS MY NEW NEIGHBOR AT WORK.

[RAY]:
OH YEAH?

WHAT KIND OF BUSINESS

DO YOU RUN?

UH...

I'M A DIVORCE ATTORNEY.

[LAUGHS]

REALLY?

WHAT A HOOT!

A DIVORCE ATTORNEY

AND A WEDDING PLANNER,

SIDE BY SIDE.

ONE-STOP SHOPPING.

OR THE UNIVERSE:

WORKING AGAINST ME.

OR MAYBE YOU COULD LOOK AT I AS THE UNIVERSE OPENING UP

FOR YOU.

MAYBE WE COULD OPEN UP THE WINE?

YES.

ALLOW ME.

OH, NO, I'VE GOT IT.

SO...

SOPHIA AND I, WE HAVE

SOME EXCITING NEWS.

[SOPHIA]:
GO AHEAD,

SWEETHEART.

YOU TELL THEM.

SOPHIA AND I...

WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!

[COUGHS]

[SOPHIA]:

AND THERE'S MORE.

WE'RE GOING TO BE

ORGANIC FARMERS.

ISN'T IT GREAT?

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

DAD, DON'T START.

YOU ARE 22 YEARS OLD.

YOU ARE TOO YOUNG

TO GET MARRIED.

WHAT, YOU EXPECT ME

TO SIT HERE:

AND JUST BE HAPPY

THAT YOU'RE DROPPING OU OF LAW SCHOOL?

COLLIN, YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!

AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN,

"ORGANIC FARMING?"

DOES THIS HAVE SOMETHING TO DO

WITH THAT VEGAN THING?

NO, MOM.

SOPHIA AND I:

HAVE BEEN PLANNING THIS

FOR A WHILE.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU EVEN

KNOWN EACH OTHER?

TWO MONTHS.

WELL...

SOPHIA...

IT APPEARS THAT THIS BOY

HAS MADE YOU LOSE YOUR SENSES.

HOLD ON A SECOND.

THIS BOY DIDN'T HAVE

ANY OF THESE CRAZY IDEAS

UNTIL HE MET YOUR GIRL.

MOM, I KNOW

THAT THIS IS A LOT TO PROCESS,

BUT WE KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING.

MY DAUGHTER'S NOT GOING

TO BECOME A FARMER.

I RAISED YOU:

TO BE MY LAW PARTNER.

THIS IS SO TYPICAL

OF YOU, DAD.

MR. AMORINI, PLEASE.

I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU.

WE HAVE THOUGHT THIS THROUGH.

YOU ARE DESTROYING

MY DAUGHTER'S FUTURE.

[WENDY]:
EXCUSE ME!

HE WAS JUST FINE

AND ON TRACK:

FOR A GREAT LAW CAREER.

AND I'M QUITE CERTAIN

THIS WHOLE FARMING IDEA

WASN'T EVEN HIS!

OH, REALLY?

AND YOU THINK THAT SOPHIA

WOULD GIVE UP HER DREAM

OF PARTNERING UP WITH ME

AT THE FIRM:

TO, WHAT, MILK COWS?

THAT'S RIDICULOUS!

UNLESS YOUR SON:

TALKED HER INTO IT.

THIS MIGHT BE A GOOD

TIME TO LEAVE.

MY SON WAS EATING MEA BEFORE HE MET YOUR DAUGHTER.

MEAT?

WHO CARES ABOUT MEAT?

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HER CAREER!

MY BUSINESS!

OH, OF COURSE,

YOUR BUSINESS.

AND WHAT KIND OF PERSON

OPENS A DIVORCE OFFICE

RIGHT NEXT TO A WEDDING PLANNER?

YOU'RE SELLING FAIRY TALES.

MARRIAGE IS NOT A FAIRY TALE.

THIS HAS BEEN:

AN ENLIGHTENING EVENING.

CIAO.

CAN I HAVE SOME WINE?

[GROANS]

MORNING!

I SAVED YOU SOME MUFFINS.

GOOD MORNING.

COLLIN,

ABOUT LAST NIGHT...

IT'S OKAY, MOM.

I UNDERSTAND.

YOU DO?

OH, THANK GOODNESS,

BECAUSE YOU CAN SEE

WHY DROPPING OUT OF SCHOOL

AND RUSHING INTO

THIS MARRIAGE:

IS A BAD IDEA.

I MEAN, IT'S OBVIOUS

YOU'RE HEAD OVER HEELS

FOR SOPHIA...

MOM, WHAT ARE YOU

SO AFRAID OF?

COLLIN, YOU'RE SO YOUNG.

YOU'RE 22.

YOU AND DAD WERE 21

WHEN YOU HAD ME.

THAT WAS DIFFERENT.

AND I NEVER WANTED YOU TO REPEA WHAT YOUR FATHER AND I DID.

YOU WERE SUPPOSED

TO FINISH COLLEGE.

BESIDES, YOUR FATHER AND I

HAD A SOLID PLAN, WE...

SO DO WE.

MOM, I GOTTA GO.

I HAVE A MEETING AT THE BANK.

THANK YOU FOR THE MUFFINS.

THE BANK?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT THE BANK?

[SIGHS]

HEAVEN HELP ME.

[SINISTER MUSIC]

JOSH, COME ON.

YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO

THAT IF MY CLIENT WANTED TO,

SHE COULD GO AFTER

ALL YOUR CLIENT'S ASSETS.

EVEN THE ONES:

STASHED OVERSEAS.

EXCUSE ME, YOUR CAR IS

IN MY PARKING SPOT.

JUST ADVISE YOUR CLIENT...

ADVISE YOUR CLIEN TO PLAY FAIR,

AND SO WILL WE.

IT'S THE LEAST HE CAN DO

AFTER 10 YEARS OF MARRIAGE.

ALL RIGHT.

I'LL SEE YOU THERE.

I WILL.

[CAR REMOTE BEEPS]

[CAR ALARM BLARES]

[TURNS IT OFF]

WHO DOES HE THINK I AM?

SOME KIND OF VALET?

[LOUD SCRAPING SOUND]

NO, NO, NO, NO!

OH MY G... WHAT'D YOU DO?

HOW DID YOU...

YOUR FAMILY IS A DISASTER!

LIKEWISE.

WHAT... WHAT IS

WRONG WITH YOU?

WHY DID YOU EVEN NEED

TO MOVE MY CAR?

THERE ARE PLENTY

OF SPOTS.

DO YOU NOT SEE THE SIGN?

"PERFECT WEDDINGS

BY HAMPTON?"

I'VE BEEN PARKING

IN THIS SPO SINCE MY HUSBAND AND I

OPENED THIS BUSINESS.

RIGHT.

YOUR HUSBAND.

SOPHIA TOLD ME:

HE PASSED AWAY.

I'M SORRY.

LOOK, JUST...

FORGET ABOUT THE SCRATCH.

IT'S NO BIG DEAL.

I'M JUST GONNA PARK

IN THE STREE UNTIL WE CAN GET THIS WHOLE

PARKING THING FIGURED OUT.

IT'LL BE SAFER THAT WAY.

THANK YOU.

YOU SCRATCHED HIS CAR?

OH, THAT'S RICH.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO.

HIS DAUGHTER:

IS BRAINWASHING MY SON.

MAYBE HE IS NOT BRAINWASHED.

MAYBE HE'S IN LOVE.

YOU KNOW...

I SEEM TO RECALL

A YOUNG COUPLE:

THAT WAS SO IN LOVE,

THEY ACTUALLY STARTED

THEIR OWN WEDDING BUSINESS.

DENNIS AND I WERE DIFFERENT.

WE WERE HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS

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