For Colored Girls Page #8

l made too much room for

"Almost ran off with all my stuff

"And the one running with it

Don't know he got it

"l'm shouting, 'This is mine'

And he don't even know he got it

"My stuff is the anonymous

Ripped-off treasure of the year

"Did you know

Somebody almost got away with me?

"Me, in a plastic bag under his arm

Me, Juanita Sims

"Somebody almost walked off

With all my stuff"

Tell them.

Why is it that every time somebody knocks

on this door yours opens?

Now, what do you want with her?

Just get your nosy ass

back in your apartment.

Go on!

Hi. Hi.

We're having a get together

at the community center tonight,

-and we would love for you to come.

-No. l don't think so.

lt will be good for you to get out, you know?

lt's in honor

of my little sister's going away to college,

and getting her out of my apartment.

lt'll be fun.

-lf l feel up to it.

-Yeah. Yeah, all right.

You can bring somebody if you want to.

Don't... Don't bring her.

l feel you looking at my ass, old lady.

-All right, you can come.

-ls that your way of apologizing to me?

l notice you haven't had any visitors lately.

-Mind your business.

-l see you're starting to mind yours.

"Ever since l realized

There was someone called a colored girl

"Or an evil woman

A b*tch or a nag

"l been trying not to be that

And leave bitterness in somebody else's cup

"Come to somebody to love me

"Without deep and nasty smelling scars

From lye

"Or being left screaming in a street

Of lunatics whispering, 'Slut, b*tch, b*tch'

"Nigga, get out of here with all of that

l didn't have any of that for you

"l brought you what joy l found

"And l found joy

"And then there's that woman who hurt you

"And who you left three or four times

And then you went back

"After you put my heart

ln the bottom of your shoe

"You just walked back to where you hurt

"And l didn't have nothing

"So l went to where somebody

Had something for me

"But none of them were you

"l got a real dead loving here for you now

"'Cause l don't know anymore

How to avoid my own face wet with my tears

"Because l had convinced myself

That colored girls have no right to sorrow

"l lived for you

"l know l did it for myself

But l couldn't stand it

"l couldn't stand being sorry

And colored at the same time

"lt's so redundant in the modern world"

-l guess this is goodbye.

-Like you've never seen it before.

Crystal?

Crystal.

Did you eat today?

No, you didn't.

No.

Crystal, what is your plan?

What are you doing, baby?

You just gonna lay here and die?

How could he do it?

lt wasn't just him, honey.

But l tried to stop him.

You had to stop him

long before he got to that window.

-Are you saying this is my fault?

-What l'm saying, Crystal,

is you gonna have to take responsibility

in some of this.

How much of it you take is up to you,

but you gotta take some of it.

Until you do,

you're just gonna be living to die.

l know it hurts,

but you gotta get up from here.

But l didn't save my babies.

Then save some other woman's babies.

Help another woman who's missing

what you're missing.

There's too much life wrapped in your voice.

You gotta get up from here.

Come on. Come on, baby.

Come on.

Come on, baby. Come on. Come.

lt's all right.

Now, Crystal.

Crystal, l want you to breathe.

Come on.

Yes. Yes.

Yes, baby, that's right.

That's right, baby, breathe.

Breathe. Breathe for me. That's right.

My last husband,

I had a detective follow him,

and even though l didn't do that with you,

l know l ignored everything in me

to be with you.

Baby, why don't you just tell me

what the hell you're talking about?

l went to my gynecologist,

and before you,

every level in my body was fine.

Baby, are you sick? Talk to me.

Tell me the truth, Carl.

Who have you been sleeping with?

Jo, l promise you since...

Since you and l have been together,

l have not slept with another woman,

and l promise you that.

-What about a man?

-What the f*** did you just ask me?

l see the way you look at them

when you think l'm not paying attention.

l see it.

The pool boy in the Hamptons, my driver,

the guy the other night at the opera.

l see it all, Carl.

You have no idea

how much l hate coming up

into this motherfucking house sometimes.

Every day, Joanna,

if it ain't you telling me what to wear,

how to look, calling the shots over my head.

Are you gay?

How you gonna ask me a question like that?

How did you marry a woman,

and then turn around

and let a man bend you over?

Ain't nobody bending me over.

So you doing the bending?

ls that what it is?

l don't wake up holding another man,

walking down the street

holding some man's hands.

That's gay, okay?

That ain't me.

You're saying a lie, Carl. You're saying

a lot without saying nothing at all.

l'm saying

that your husband is a man, Jo.

l'm a man every day of the week.

l'm a man.

l'm just a man who enjoys

having sex

with another man, Jo.

No attachments, no f***ing...

No relationship,

just sex, you know?

That's what l'm saying,

and l'm sorry.

l'm sorry, Jo,

for my truth.

"Save your sorry

"One thing l don't need

Are any more apologies

"l got sorry greeting me at the front door

You can keep yours

"l don't know what to do with them

l can't even... l gotta throw some away

"l can't even get to the clothes in my closet

For all the sorries

"You know what? l'm gonna put a sign

"A sign on the door

Better yet, l'm gonna leave a voicemail

"A message on my voicemail

"'lf you called to say you're sorry

Then call somebody else

"'Cause l don't use them anymore'

"l let... l let 'l'm sorry, l didn't mean to'

"And 'how could l know about that?'

"Take a walk down a dark and musty street

ln Brooklyn, Carl

"Well, l'm gonna do exactly what l want

And l'm not gonna be sorry for none of it

"Let sorry soothe your soul

"l'll soothe mine

"You know

You were always being inconsistent

"Doing things

And then saying you're sorry about it

"Beating my heart to death

Talking about your sorry

"Yeah, well, l'm not gonna call you

"l'm not gonna be nice

"l'm gonna raise my voice

l'm gonna yell, l'm gonna scream

"l'm gonna break things

"l'm gonna race the engine

And tell all your secrets

"About you to your face

And l'm not gonna be sorry for none of it

"l loved you on purpose

"l was open on purpose

"l'm not even sorry about you being sorry

"You can take all your guilt

And all your grime

"And do whatever you want with it

Just don't give it to me

"l can't use another sorry

"Next time, Carl, admit it

"Admit that you're mean

Admit that you're mean

"That you're low-down, down-low, trifling

"And no count straight out

"lnstead of being sorry

"Enjoy being yourself"

When l get back, l want you gone

and take your HlV with you.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

And l am just so excited that you came.

l want you to meet everybody.

Ladies? Ladies?

This is Miss Bradmore. She's the one

who gave us all the money. Yes!

Now, now, l want to show you the roof.

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