For Colored Girls Page #9

l'm just so excited.

We had it fixed because of you!

Mama!

Come on.

-l brought her some things.

-ls it ticking?

Where is she?

Over here.

Nyla.

Hey, Mommy.

l'm so proud of you.

-You want some food, Mama?

-No.

l have to go.

This is the devil's music.

Yes, it is.

How many women in your classes have HlV?

Two out of four, and usually

from someone they trusted or loved.

You know, l don't know what's worse,

if it's the betrayal or the virus.

HlV is not the death sentence

that it used to be.

l mean,

l have patients that are on their meds

and have great lives and have been

living them for the last 20 years.

Women just give up so much.

Just so much of their power.

lt can happen to any of us.

Anyone that's in love.

Miss Juanita, look who's here.

-l can't believe...

-Crystal!

...l'm having such a good time

and there's no man around.

Well, you leave that where it is.

My love is too beautiful

to have thrown back on my face.

-That's true.

-l like that.

-Try one.

-What?

Well, l do it all the time in my class.

You just say, "My love is too..."

and then you fill in the blank.

"My love is too sanctified

To have thrown back in my face"

-All right, now see?

-"My love is too magic

"To have thrown back in my face

"My love is too complicated

To have thrown back on my face

"My love is too music

To have thrown back on my face

"My love is too Saturday night

To have thrown back on my face"

Yes, and you remember that

when a man tries to walk off

with all of your stuff.

l know that's right,

or saying sorry a million times.

We all have "l'm sorry" stories, don't we?

"Get this. Just last week

My ex old man comes in saying

"'Baby, l don't know

How she got your number, l'm sorry'

"No, no, this is it

'Baby, you know l was high

-"'l'm sorry'

-"'l'm only human'

"'Our inadequacies

Are what make us human

"'lf we were perfect

We wouldn't have nothing to strive for

"'So, you might as well go on

And forgive me 'cause l'm sorry'

"This one is it.

"'l do you like l do you

'Cause l thought you could take it

"'No? l'm sorry'

"'Now l know you know l love you

"'But l ain't gonna love you

The way you want me to love you

"'l'm sorry'

"'Shut up, b*tch

"'l told you l was sorry"'

lt's okay.

l asked myself,

how l could let that happen.

l realized

"l was missing something

"Something promised

"Something so important

"A laying on of hands

"Fingers near my forehead

"Strong, cool, moving

"Making me whole, sense, pure

"All of God coming into me

"Laying me open to myself

-"l was missing something

-"Something promised

-"Something free

-"A laying on of hands

"l know about laying on bodies

Laying out a man

"And bringing him all of my fleshy self

"And some of my pleasure being taken

Full, eager, wet, like l get sometimes

-"l was missing something

-"A laying on of hands

"Not my mama

"Holding me tight

Saying l'm always gonna be her girl

"Not a laying on a bosom and womb

"The laying on of hands

"The holiness of myself released

"l sat up one night

"Walking my apartment floors

"Screaming, crying

"The ghost of another woman

Who was missing what l was missing

"l wanted to jump out of my bones

Be done with myself

"Leave me alone

Go on in the wind

"lt was too much

"l fell into a numbness

"Until the only tree l could see

"Picked me up into her branches

"Held me in the breeze

"Made me dawn dew

That chill at daybreak

"The sun

"Wrapped me up

"Swinging rose light everywhere

"And the sky laid over me

"Like a million men

"l was cold

"l was burning up

"A child and endlessly weaving garments

For the moon

"With my tears

"l found God in myself

"And l loved her fiercely"

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Smile 2 Me

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