For Richer or Poorer

---

[The O'Jays:
For The Love Of Money]

Money, money, money, money

Money

Money, money, money, money

Money

Money, money, money, money

Money

Money, money, money, money

Money

Money, money, money, money

Money

Money, money, money, money

Money

Some people got to have it

Hey, hey, hey

Some people really need it

Hey, listen to me, y'all

Do things, do things,

do things, bad things with it

You wanna do things, do things,

do things, good things with it, yeah

Uh-huh, talk about

money, money, money, money

People will steal from their mother

People will rob their own brother

People can't even walk the streets

Because they never know

who in the world they're gonna beat

For that mean, oh mean

Mean green

Almighty dollar, money

For the love of money

People will lie, Lord, they will cheat

For the love of money

People don't care

who they hurt or beat

For the love of money

A woman will sell her preclous body

For a small piece of paper,

lt carrles a lot of weight

For that mean, mean, mean, mean

Mean green

Almighty dollar

Whoa! No. Oh, no.

Tax fraud. No, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

I mean, this is a miscalculation.

Yes, I mean,

a misunderstanding certainly.

I would even go so far as to admit

that it was bad judgement.

It could be really bad judgement

but it's certainly not tax fraud.

We need to meet with you and your client

at his office tomorrow at 10.00.

All right. We'll be there. 10.00.

Good. Otherwise warrants get issued.

Property gets attached.

Everyone gets very cranky.

Well, we don't want cranky, do we?

No. We don't.

Sleep well, Mr Lachman.

We'll see you tomorrow. 10.00.

[d Sarah Vaughan: Cheek To Cheek]

Heaven, l'm in heaven

And my heart beats

so that l can hardly speak

And l seem to find

the happiness l seek

When we're out together

danclng cheek to cheek

- Thank you.

- Well, this is our big night.

Yes, it is.

You work the girls

and I'll work the boys.

Sounds great. See you soon.

- Not soon enough.

- Oh!

- La-la-la.

- Oh, Caroline. Mwah.

- Mwah-mwah.

- Oh, Caroline.

- What a fabulous look, as usual.

- Oh, thank you.

Ten years. Can you believe it?

It's easy to believe.

It's just a little tough to admit.

I'm just glad someone's

happily married. Even if it isn't mol.

Oh, honey.

I still can't believe you haven't traded

in Brad for one of those hot new models.

Oh, sweetheart.

You never trade in a classic.

- Oh, meow.

- Oh.

- They're so happy.

- I'm so jealous.

[Men laugh]

lmagine, if you will, a mecca,

where people from all over the world

can partake in a celebration

of miracles.

We will lift their souls...

while we lighten their wallets.

[All laugh]

Ladies and gentlemen, behold...

the Holyland.

[chorus] Hallelujahl Hallelujahl

This is amazing, isn't it?

A theme park inspired by God Himself.

[All laugh]

Brad, darling, look who I found.

Your Honour.

It's a thrill to have you here.

- And it's a pleasure to be here.

- Thank you.

And my favourite attorney.

I owe you one, buddy.

You sure do.

All right. May I continue?

Let me take you on a journey.

Step this way.

All right.

Now. Welcome to the Holyland.

Check it out. Bedouin Breakfast.

You gotta love it.

What is this,

a sell job or an anniversary party?

For our Jewish guests,

Torah, Torah, Torah: The Waterslide.

For our Japanese guests,

Tora, Tora, Tora: The Waterslide.

[laughs] Look. Water lnto Winery.

And what a great year for wine. Mm. One.

My favourite attraction. Here it is.

The Burning Bush.

Twice a night,

we light up the skies with this.

[Screams]

Mr Sexton, not only

have you no respect for religion,

but you have ruined

my favourite Balenciaga.

I can assure you that if you go ahead

with this... heresy,

you and anyone else

stupid enough to get involved

will burn in hell.

- Judge Northcutt...

- Your Honour, please wait.

Does this mean

we won't be having dessert?

[Attorney] Uh, Judge...

What the hell's a Balenciaga?

Yo, Picasso. Let's go.

[Grunts]

- Happy anniversary, Mr Sexton.

- Thank you, Winston.

Coh!

After tonight, I don't know how I'll

ever be able to face my friends again.

Just pretend they're a mirror.

You're so funny, honey.

I'll just confess to them

that I'm married to a moron.

That way they'll feel sorry for me,

then they'll forgive me.

Well, this moron built you

this fabulous life.

Oh, that again.

Oh, I forgot. That's right, honey.

You did everything and I did nothing.

Well, I have developed 16 commercial

properties in the last five years,

including Euro-Alcatraz.

Hm. I'm sorry.

Did you say "Euro-Alcatraz"?

Vacation in the Big House.

- Say, did you hear that?

- What?

The sound of an entire continent

laughing at you.

Ouch. Caroline,

refresh my memory, will you, please?

What exactly have you done

in the past five years?

Wait a minute. I know.

You've done Bloomingdale's.

You've done lunch.

You've done chemical peels.

You've done collagen.

You've done liposuction.

- Wow.

- You poor, deluded little monkey.

Who do you think brought you

to these people, huh?

Without me, Brad, you would be nothing.

I beg your pardon,

but I had a very successful real estate

career before I ever met you.

Oh, really.

So you consider leasing parking spaces

a real estate career?

Well, here's a newsflash.

I took you from K-Mart to Tiffany's.

- I invented you.

- OK.

Then I guess you have

no one else to blame but yourself.

That's...

I guess not.

Good night.

[Caroline on lntercom]

Brad, darling, here's a thought.

Since you're so good with fire,

why not set up a barbecue barrel on 42nd

and sell flame-broiled pigeons?

Or you should write a cookbook.

How To Roast Your Own Nuts.

What do you think, Brad?

You know what I think?

I think I'm tired of busting my ass

while you sit on your ever-widening one,

criticizing everything I do.

I spent the last six months busting

this ever-widening ass, and for what?

So you could turn our anniversary into

a carny sideshow to promote a lame idea?

All right, Caroline.

What is this really about?

Nothing, Brad. Just another thrilling

Saturday night at the Sextons'.

Are you so pissed off

about the incident at the party?

No. I am pissed because

if I had just stayed in fashion design

instead of wasting my time on you,

I would probably have

my own collection by now.

Ah. So instead, you're collecting

everyone else's collection.

Hm. Don't you get it?

I gave it up to help you.

You gave it up because you were afraid

you might have to finish something.

- I'm tired.

- Then go to bed.

No. Of this.

What used to work in this marriage

doesn't work anymore.

Oh, God, here it comes.

The divorce talk again.

We're wasting our time.

What's the point?

lf you want out, just say the word.

Out.

- What?

- Out.

- You want a divorce?

- I need a divorce.

- You got it.

- Good.

- We'll split everything.

- Split what?

We don't own any of this sh*t.

All we have is debt.

I'd be glad to split that fifty-fifty.

Fifty-fifty? Not on your life.

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