For Richer or Poorer Page #2

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- Then it'll get ugly.

- Good. I can do ugly.

I've done you for the last ten years.

As memory serves, you stopped

doing me after six and a half.

- Happy anniversary, honey.

- F*** off!

OK.

[Sobs]

[Man on TV] Holy smoke.

Why did l ever get mixed up with you?

[Woman] You're becoming

awfully disagreeable lately.

You snap my head off

every time l open my mouth.

If being with me ils so dilstasteful

to you, you can leave.

You can leave any time you see fit.

Nobody is holding you here.

I can get along.

- Morning, guys.

- Mr Sexton.

Morning, Penny. Well, did it come?

Just arrived. All fixed.

- That'll be $96.

- I'll owe you, OK?

I can't. Not this time.

And I'll need cash.

- Really?

- Really.

OK. I'll go to the bank today.

You'll get your cash.

- Have I shown you the back of this?

- Yes, you've shown it to me many times.

- Oh, your new chair is here.

- ls it?

- Oh, Bob.

- Uh... B-B-Brad. Brad. What...

- Where are you going with all that?

- Nowhere. This is nothing.

- I am going some place...

- Put a hold on it.

- I want to talk to you.

- I would love to but...

Bob.

- I've got your number.

- Huh?

- Number, please.

- New satellite phone. From Osaka. Huh?

Got your number.

This will pick up a signal anywhere.

- That's great but I gotta go.

- Wait!

I got one more thing to show you.

Please. Just take a minute.

Oh, by the way.

How did that IRS thing come out?

- Are we gonna survive?

- Uh... sure. I took care of everything.

That's what I want to hear.

What do you think?

The Shiatsu 2000 Massage Experience.

- That's fantastic. I gotta go.

- Wait a minute!

Come on, Bob. Look at this.

Oh, feeling good.

I got the manicure-pedicure option,

and I can sit here while I'm getting

my back rubbed and get a facial too.

- What do you think?

- You're spending development money

on stupid toys.

These are not stupid toys.

These are business tools.

I write all this stuff off.

Yeah, that's what I do.

I could do a lot more.

I got a working knowledge of every inch

of this place. I got... I got...

I gotta go. I'm, I'm really late.

I'll walk out with you. There's

something else I should tell you.

Great.

Come on, come on!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Well, Caroline and l

have decided to call it quits.

Gee, that's too bad. Sorry to hear

that you two are splitting.

Did he say "splitting"?

Miss. IRS Field Agent Hall.

Where did Mr Sexton go?

Well, he better be going to the bank.

Bank?

The bank. He's running.

Get backup.

Have them meet me there. Move.

He did my first two divorces,

and if I ever get married again,

he'll do my third.

- Brad won't know what hit him.

- Coh.

You're so lucky not to have a pre-nup.

We didn't have anything.

There was nothing to nup.

- Oh. You're gonna get it all.

- Uh. That's mine.

You got it last time.

No, no, no, no, no.

Hey! Hey!

I don't have time for this!

Son of a...

Oh!

Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

This is where the fun begins.

- Who the hell are you?

- lnspector Lester.

I'm here to bring in the suspect.

lnspector Derek Lester? Wow.

Sir, I heard about you at the Academy.

I'm sure you did, son.

Whoa. Look, sir. Hey,

I know I may be a little new at this

but we don't shoot people

for cheating on their taxes.

Oh. You're right.

You are new at this.

My accounts are frozen?

It means you can't touch them.

I know what you mean. Who froze them?

That information is confidential.

Really.

Caroline.

Huh. Excuse me, sweetheart,

but this card has no limit.

I'm sorry to say... it does.

Huh. I knew he was too good to be true.

Let the games begin.

That bastard.

That b*tch.

[Grumbles and moans]

[Phone rings]

Jesus.

- Bob Lachman.

- Ah, Bob. Brad.

Oh, Brad.

Listen. Somehow, Caroline has managed

to freeze all of my accounts.

Caroline? Are you sure?

Well, who the hell else would it be?

Well, you know there was

that little IRS audit thing?

I left out a few little details.

What sort of little details?

Five million dollars?!

[Echoes]

[Baby begins to cry]

Bob, what did you do?

Oh, well, a lot of little things

over a long period of time.

lf it's about money,

I'll give you a raise.

Brad, I am insuIt ed.

This isn't about money.

It's about respect.

It's about friendship.

Only kidding. It's about the money.

Bob, you need help.

I know, I know.

I'm a sick man. I am sick.

But the good news is, now I can afford

to get the help I deserve.

Oh, one more piece of advice.

lf I were you, I would leave town.

I think they're going to arrest you.

Arrest me? Why?

Because, you know, it's not my name

on those returns, sluggo. It's yours.

Have a nice day.

Kennedy.

Bob. Bob. Bob, Bob, Bob!

Sh*t!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Hey, hey, hey! Come on!

He's making his move. Let's go.

Come on! You're scratching it!

Come on! Oh!

[Whimpers]

I don't believe this!

[Heartbeat]

[Phone rings]

Gun!

Sh*t!

Hold it! IRS!

IRS?

This is bullshit.

- I can't believe you just shot at him!

- He had a gun!

He had a phone!

Let's hope this discourages future

violations of the tax code. Get the car.

Hold it!

Run, Sexton!

You're making my day!

Oheater!

Run, Sexton!

He's a cheater!

Watch out. Excuse me. Watch out.

Look out, look out, look out, please!

Go, go, go, go!

Go!

Hey, Malik. Let's go, let's go! Come on.

Smarten up, snapperhead. I'm off duty!

My car!

- Sir!

- Move over!

- What?

- Get over!

Are you gonna chase him? Reckless

pursuits are against our arrest policy!

So is defrauding the government, son.

Wait, wait, wait!

I don't believe this!

This guy's nuts!

[Horn blares]

When I was your age,

none of this was here.

Sir!

- You can't drive, can you?

- Well, I don't have a licence.

Got you.

Ah.

Wait here.

Columbus and 69th.

This just keeps

getting better and better.

Brad? What are you doing driving a cab?

I thought we could use the extra money.

And why did you cancel my credit cards?

I didn't...

Hold on.

Hold on, son.

Excuse me, do you think you could turn

the corner without wrecking my hair?

You might want to put your seatbeIt on.

[Siren blares]

Oh, great.

Now the cops are chasing me.

How on earth

can you owe that much money?

I don't know. But I don't owe it.

We owe it. You and l.

Oh, yeah? Maybe if I testify

against you, they'll give me immunity.

Fortunately, they don't allow wives

to testify against their husbands.

How about ex-wives?

[laughs]

It's OK, fellas. IRS.

Well, that worked well.

You don't have a clue

where you're going, do you?

No. But we can't go back to the city

till I've figured this out.

You know, if you had a brain,

which you clearly don't,

you would have spoken

to your attorney back in New York.

Hey, I was being chased around

by a guy with a big gun.

I didn't have time

to shoot the sh*t with Phil.

No, but you had time to steaI a cab,

didn't you, Brad?

I'm sorry I didn't find the time

to lift a limo for you.

I don't get it.

Leona cheated on her taxes

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