For Richer or Poorer Page #7

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Wunderbarl

lsn't that good?! One week?

Uh... Oh.

Ladies, we have shopping to do.

Thank you, gentlemen. Clao.

[Samuel] This price seems a bit high.

We'd love to make you a better deal.

We're sitting on... eight other offers?

Try ten, Jerry. But they're city folk.

You know, Samuel, we'd always rather

do business with you Amish.

This is a hell of a property

at a rock-bottom price.

It is much, much more

than we have in mind.

Hm. We're not making a dime on this one.

It's way below market.

- Well, what do you think, Jacob?

- I think, if it's OK with you two,

I'd like to talk to

these two fine gentlemen privately.

Please?

I'll be right out.

Mr Yoder, is this property perfect

for that boy, or what?

It's extraordinary

the way you people help each other out.

You're quiet and reserved.

You never cause any problems.

It's why we love doing business

with you Amish.

So hey, what can we do

to wrap this thing up?

For starters, you can take your offer,

wrap it in a tight little wad,

and shove it up your ass.

I thought I was a good negotiator.

To bring the English down that much.

Very impressive, Jacob.

It was nothing.

I'm just glad I could help.

And to think I am now responsible

for a piece of God's earth.

Wait till I tell Rebecca.

This is one of

the happiest days of my life.

- Thank you, brother Jacob.

- You bet.

Brothers, I'll be right back.

Thank you, father Samuel.

Yes, collect call from Jacob Yo...

No, no, no. Brad Sexton, please.

Thank you.

- Phil Kleinman's office.

- Hi, Evelyn.

- Is that you, Mr Sexton?

- Yes, it's me. Put Phil on the phone.

I'm sorry, Mr Sexton. He's out of town.

What do you mean, he's out of town?

Where did he go?

- I'm not allowed to say.

- Why, because somebody's listening?

L'm not allowed to say.

- What are you allowed to say?

- That's pretty much it.

Why don't you try back in a week?

- Well, you tell...

- [dlal tone]

Damn!

Broke at my farm.

- [Woman] What did he say?

- I didn't think the Amish...

And you. Oh, this robin's egg blue.

Look at that.

Look how beautifuI that is.

- What's going on?

- Emma is quite a skilled shopper.

Well, she's had a lot of practice.

- Could I talk to you for a second?

- Sure.

You won't believe the selections.

I'm gonna use autumn tones.

The harvest is my muse, my inspiration.

And the prices are half...

Caroline, we're in trouble. Phil's gone.

He won't be back for a week.

- Why is he taking a week off?

- Well, how do I know?

That's good! I need a week

to get my designs in order.

Your designs? Hello!

Caroline?

Oh, no. You've crossed over.

You've become one of us.

[laughs] Brad, be serious.

These women really need my help.

This is what I always wanted to do.

I can do this.

[Camera clicks]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. We don't like

getting our picture taken, please.

I got you.

I understand.

Look, what's this gonna take, huh?

What do you need? Five bucks?

- A little Amish Lincoln?

- You need to show more respect.

What a dick.

- lntercourse, huh?

- Mm.

OK. You start in front, I'll come in

from behind and meet you in the middle.

Sounds good to me.

[Bed creaks rhythmically]

This is unbelievable.

Look at all these little guys.

I made them. Well, you know,

I planted them, and they're growing.

l, too, never grow tired of the miracle.

Well, it's... it's so honest.

I mean, you plough it, you plant it,

and it grows.

It's like they say...

you reap what you sow.

Aye, the process is so simple, isn't it?

The way things grow.

So quiet. So steady.

It's easy for people

to take things for granted.

The English, especially.

They view us as backward,

as hiding from reality.

But this is the reality.

This is the process of life.

We sow humility,

and we reap a great harvest.

It is not we who are hiding.

It's those English. Always hiding.

Jacob?

There. That's great.

Thanks a lot, guys.

Careful, Sammy. Stand back.

We talked about this, Big John.

It's your chance.

You're bigger than the stump. Think of

the girls in the barn. Hip-hip. Come on.

[All shout encouragement]

Come on, John.

You can do it, Jacob!

Come on, John! Come on! Come on, John!

Pull it, John. Come on.

Yeah!

Emma, I don't mean to sound prideful,

but how do I look?

Well, as long as

you don't tell anybody...

you look as pretty as the sunrise.

All right, everybody. All right.

Models, models, attention.

You... Heads up.

No modest, downcast eyes on the runway.

There we go. Now.

Think Versace, Armani, Valentino.

- Sears?

- [All] Oh!

Are we ready?

I can't. I thought I could but I can't.

Henner! Get over it! You'll be fine.

But people will be staring at me.

But that's the point, Henner.

Oh! Henner!

Well. So much for my men's collection.

Henner! Henner, can you hear me?

Good afternoon, everyone.

Well, everywhere we look we see colour.

We've come together

in the spirit of simplicity

to honour the beautiful rainbow

which God has provided.

So sit back and enjoy,

as we celebrate the glory of nature

in Rainbow Harvest '97.

Hah.

[Coughs]

Um... hit it.

[Man plays harmonica]

And along comes Mary,

wearing a beautiful starburst quilt

across her bodice,

offset by subtle hues

of aubergine and brick.

This ensemble comes complete

with easy-access pockets.

Thank you, Mary.

Notice the fabric as she walks away.

It reminds me of corn,

swaying in the gentle summer breeze.

How about y'all?

Well, next we have Sarah.

Talk about versatility.

This quilted smock

in royal blue and rust

becomes an instant sporty classic,

appropriate at a barn dance

or on a milking stool.

Now you tell me.

What Amish girl could ask for more?

Excuse me, sir.

We're trying to locate these two people.

Can you please take a look

and see if you know them?

Thank you very much.

- We're getting nowhere with these.

- Yeah.

I just got an idea, sir.

Oh.

lnteresting approach. Here's another.

You see, my way, we double our chances

in half the time.

Don't be discouraged. It took years

before my mind started working this way.

Little Anna Yoder.

She's the picture of youthful exuberance

in her bright yellow sundress

and azure underlay,

making those baby blues just sparkle.

Doesn't it just scream

daffodils and sunflowers?

Or not?

Thank you.

- What happened to him?

- He couldn't take the pressure.

Emma was so disappointed.

He was to wear her men's colours.

[Caroline] Now we have Martha

in a very conservative number.

Now, I ask you a question.

ls she going to church or...

[gasps]

...to a picnic?

You tell me!

Wherever she's going,

she's gonna have a great time.

Thank you, Martha.

Um... I also have clothes for you men.

Unfortunately, male models being...

you know, what male models are...

[audience] Coh!

Here comes Jacob Yoder.

Whether he's on his way to town

to purchase grain,

or he's shearing his sheep,

he always looks his best

in his blueberry work shirt

and his blackberry suit.

Almost good enough to eat.

Thank you, Jacob.

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