For the Boys Page #2

- "Stuff Like That There." Go, go, go.

- Corporal. Band person.

D flat, not E flat. He didn't hear me.

I've been up two days.

How do I sing an E flat?

You could sing in L, they'll love it.

What's the matter? You OK?

I'm fine, I'm fine. England, right?

All right, enough of this.

Now, guys, a little girl

who can make grown men cry...

Our own little bit of lend-lease,

the amazing Miss Victoria Lee.

Hi, boys.

Great.

Sensational. Sensational.

She's here. She's getting dressed.

- Loretta, my hair.

- You look great.

Let's go over these lines again.

- That's him.

- That's him.

He's coming over here.

- Hello. Dixie?

- Yes.

- Hi, I'm Eddie Sparks.

- I can't believe I'm seeing you in person.

They love you so much.

Gosh, you're amazing.

- Just a kid from the Bronx.

- Imagine.

So what are you gonna sing, sweetheart?

- "Stuff Like That There."

- Like...

- I don't know that.

- It's an up song. It's bouncy.

Bouncy's good. So did you ever sing

in front of a real band?

- Did you ever hear of Tommy Dorsey?

- Dorsey? Of course.

Me too. Great band, huh?

That's a joke. Actually,

he did ask me to tour with him once,

but I have a little boy and my husband

is a combat photographer in North Africa...

Are we really gonna do a comedy routine?

Piece of cake. Just read the cue cards and

when in trouble you throw it back to papa.

Yes, sir.

Boy.

That is quite a dress.

Well, this is me in my dress.

- You're gonna be sensational.

- Thank you.

Sam.

- Get me a backup.

- What's up? She looked nervous.

- Nervous? She was like a horse on fire.

- Well?

She's no Greta Garbo.

Sam, could you give us a minute, please?

- Eddie, Steel Pier, Atlantic City, 1931.

- Don't start.

You were wearing the check suit.

I said lose it.

You were doing I don't know what. I said

"We're gonna write you..." Look at me.

Who am I? Come on, Eddie.

The writer. Why do they call them writers?

Cos they're right, right?

You're a smug bastard.

I should have dumped you years ago.

- You still got the check suit?

- F*** you and your cousin.

Niece. And she's gonna go all the way,

with or without us.

- Damn. Look at this.

- What?

- I think I'm gonna puke.

- No. A couple of deep breaths.

- What is it, butterflies?

- Elephants.

Here, take the edge off.

Better?

- What is that?

- Nazi tank fuel.

Grows hair all over your pinamunda.

I know, I need some rest.

- OK, take a look.

- Oh, Loretta.

- I look human. Thank you. You're a genius.

- You're on next.

- What, now? Oh, God.

- Honey, it's a bunch of horny guys.

- How you gonna lose?

- In that case, let me at 'em.

- Maybe we can pin it.

- It's too far gone.

You're on next. Holy Moses!

What happened?

They're gonna take me outside

and shoot me like a deserter.

Larry! Stretch.

Someone who just flew

over from the States to be with us.

Let's give her a big welcome.

A great, great singer.

Miss Dixie Leonard!

- Guess what.

- What?

She's not ready.

Isn't that like a dame?

If you guys took this long getting dressed,

we'd all be speaking German by now.

- Don't you have another dress?

- Don't you wanna try and help?

- Captain?

- Who, me?

- Yeah, you. Hi.

- Hello.

Hello.

You know, there is one piece of

women's apparel I don't quite understand.

The one with the straps,

the buttons, the hooks.

- It's a brassiere!

- It's harder to get off than a parachute.

That's why I always offer to help.

Well, hi.

Hello.

Thought you'd never get here.

So sorry. Little trouble over

the Channel, you know, old pip.

Really?

Righto. We were halfway to Belgium when

we ran out of "gas", I believe you call it.

That's funny. You don't look like

you'd ever run out of gas.

Are you trying to get

into my flak suit, honey?

I'm just trying to debrief you.

So, a plane without any gas.

What did you do?

Do?

Yeah, do.

To keep up morale and all that.

Well, my copilot, lovely young boy

but terrified half out of his wits,

you know, nervous, terrified.

I said to him

"This one's going to take

a long, hard, pull."

So I did!

For two hours.

Two hours alone with you...

that boy deserves a Purple Heart.

It was purple all right,

but I don't think it was his heart.

I think I've gotta take a cold shower now.

How about a song before we all get arrested?

I'd love to.

Here she is, direct from the convent,

the wonderful Miss Dixie Leonard.

I want her and her mouth

on the next plane outta here.

All right, OK, all right, all right.

So are we being attacked?

I always like to know these things.

- We lost power. Give us a minute or two.

- Why you gotta yell?

Well, alone in the dark

with thousands of men.

There is a god after all.

- Come on, sweetheart. Sing!

- Yeah!

There's only one thing I like to do

in the dark, honey, and it ain't sing.

Oh, my.

Well, if you feel that way about it.

"PS I Love You" in A.

- Is that for me or the guy on the generator?

- You!

I love you. I had the best time.

Thank you.

It was... It was...

Mr Sparks.

- Is there something wrong?

- Yeah, honey. You. You're wrong.

You got a toilet for a mouth.

I don't appreciate it.

A lot of these boys are gonna die

and you wanna send them off

with a bunch of cheap-ass

dick jokes, is that it?

- No, sir. I just thought...

- You thought?

If you haven't got the class,

you oughta have the brains.

- OK, Eddie, enough.

- What?

- You made your point.

- There are a lot of writers without nieces.

Eddie.

How about that?

The fabulous Dixie Leonard.

Really nice work, Dixie.

How about a hand

for the very lovely Vicki Lee?

Not to mention my number one man,

Wally Fields and the boys.

Well, that's our show.

I hope you liked it.

You.

- No autographs, fellas.

- Sam, it's all right.

Just a few.

Eddie, that new stuff I put in tonight,

did you like it?

Not now, honey. That's it.

I don't need this.

I've been working in clubs since I'm 16.

Dixie, when I first started with Eddie,

he fired me every day for a week.

- It's a squall. It passes over.

- He's a racehorse. It's a different set of rules.

He knows what happened out there.

He's no fool.

- He's an evil, sadistic son of a b*tch.

- He happens to be right about the dick jokes.

He kept setting me up.

What did he expect?

Come on, Dixie.

You panicked and went for the crotch.

We get to the hotel and you apologise.

What did I do? I got a few laughs,

I brought down the house, I topped him.

- You're supposed to.

- We're gonna build the act around that.

- What are you talking about? There's no act.

- No act, huh?

You two are gonna be an industry.

- She sings pretty good. She does funny.

- Yeah.

- Funny is money.

- Yeah.

- Welcome to jolly old life as usual.

- Come on, Wally, let's go get stupid.

- Dixie, honey, I wanna buy you a drink.

- Go with them. I'll be with you in a minute.

We'll be under the bar.

Wake us for the armistice.

Hello, Reg. That's the Dixie Leonard

I was telling you about.

Listen, Eddie.

Me and Dixie just had a long talk.

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