For the Boys Page #3

She feels terrible about what happened.

I think we should just

clean the slate and start over.

Why?

Did you tell him?

- You tell him.

- Tell me what?

The two of you are gonna be bigger

than Burns and Allen.

Bigger than Hope and Crosby.

Bigger than all of 'em.

I got all these advisors. Who's the guy that

goes out and gets the laughs every night?

It's you, Eddie. You are the one.

And that's why

I'm gonna go bring her over.

I wish you wouldn't do that.

Want some aspirin?

- Come on.

- No, I don't think so.

He feels terrible about what happened.

He just needs you to break the ice.

- Go on, Dixie.

- Go ahead.

He's disconsolate. Come on.

What would I have to give you

for one little kiss?

Chloroform.

Eddie, you remember Dixie Leonard.

Yeah, I remember. So...

So...

You have something to say?

Yeah. I don't like

the way you talk to my uncle.

What is your problem, lady?

My problem, Eddie,

is you can't walk all over people.

It makes a bad impression.

- I guess that's what's held me back.

- That's what's held you back as a person.

Oh, God. Right through the heart.

I mean, if I had one.

That's enough. Sit down,

have a drink, for Christ's sakes.

No, I'm gonna get some sleep.

I'm sorry it didn't work out.

Dixie.

I give up. What do I have to do?

You could try saying you're sorry.

Apologise. Go fix it.

Let us pray.

- Two-bit Napoleon. I bet you he wears lifts.

- You can't take him personally.

- Him and Hitler have the same agent.

- Good line.

- He's just like all the rest of them.

- Give us a song, Eddie.

I apologise.

- Just relax and follow my lead.

- Yeah, right off a cliff.

You just let me teach you

and nothing'll stop us.

We'll be bigger than Burns and Allen,

bigger than Hope and Crosby.

We'll be bigger than all of them.

OK.

- Oh, my God. What's that?

- It's an air raid.

- What do we do?

- Do? Nothing can happen to you.

You're with Eddie Sparks.

And he was right,

You could feel it, He was invincible,

Nothing could happen to you

if you were with Eddie Sparks.

He just had magic.

And how they loved him, those boys.

Airfields,

camps,

hospitals.

He was something.

Generous...

stingy...

infuriating...

brilliant.

A world-class,

solid-gold son of a b*tch.

Liked the ladies, did he?

He screwed everything that moved,

between Portsmouth and Yokohama.

Really?

No, honey, not me.

I was married.

Back then you... you didn't do it

with someone else if you were married.

Yeah, I think I read

something about that.

Who was he? Your husband.

Michael.

Five, six, seven, eight...

- And duck.

- Oh, gosh.

- Am I too far?

- Algeria's better than Palm Beach.

You get a better class

of scorpion in your tent.

I was nowhere near your tent.

- How about that desert sun, Dix?

- What's the line?

- My sunburn got a sunburn.

- I hate that.

Would you mind awfully

if I worked on it with Art?

- Not awfully.

- Eddie. Eddie.

Why don't we take five?

The sun was so hot that I saw a Nazi pilot

putting nose cream on his Messerschmitt.

- They found him.

- Great.

Sergeant Michael Leonard,

combat photographer, attached to 3rd Army.

- That's him.

- Had to pull some strings.

- He'll be here at 1630 hours.

- What does he know?

- Just to show up.

- I tell you what, I owe you one, pal.

Wait, wait, wait.

Here you go.

Thank you.

I'd like to introduce you to the only

two-star bachelor in North Africa.

- And a very big fan of yours.

- Hi.

Indeed, ma'am. Indeed.

Did you ever see the inside

of a general's command tent?

- No. Am I gonna?

- She's such a kidder. Go on.

So tell me, General,

how did you get all those stars?

Well, you gotta earn 'em, honey.

Wait. You only got two cameras?

I got two cameras on the platform.

I got a handheld over here.

- Listen...

- What's the matter with you?

Why don't we tell her?

Are you nuts?

I want those first reactions on film.

The real thing, no acting.

She sees him, he sees her,

they run, they embrace, they kiss.

You gotta be kidding me.

That's dynamite.

It's a million dollars' worth

of publicity, Sam. A million. Please.

Code three.

Algeria's a better place

than Palm Beach.

You get a much better class

of scorpion in your shorts.

- How about that desert sun, Dix?

- It's just terrible,

The other day I saw a Nazi pilot

putting nose cream on his Messerschmitt,

Dixie?

He's on his way down.

It's a pleasure working with someone

who can make General Patton blush.

- Sergeant Leonard, Sam Schiff.

- That's my wife.

Eddie Sparks'... producer.

- Code three, code three.

- OK, fellas. Code three.

Dixie, it's me! Michael!

Dixie, it's Michael!

It's me! It's me, Michael!

- Oh, my God. My God, it's Michael.

- Merry Christmas.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we have a little surprise.

A certain sergeant

who hasn't seen his wife in a year.

Come and get her, Mike!

Hey, sarge.

Hey, sarge, break it up here.

Sarge, for some reason

I get the feeling she might like you.

I'm a pretty great guy.

People ask me "Eddie, why do you do it?"

Why?

They say "You could be back

in the States

with your lovely wife,

beautiful three daughters."

They too understand

that we're here for moments like this.

That's why we're here.

Whenever freedom's at stake, we'll be there.

Sing him a song, honey. He's earned it.

This is presented on behalf of the president

of the United States and a grateful nation.

Thank you.

Do you wanna come with me?

What do you say?

Come on.

- That son of ours is really something.

- What happened?

Last night I'm tucking him in bed.

He says "Is kissing dirty?"

- What'd you tell him?

- Only if you do it right.

Hold it. Dixie, the line is

"Only if you don't brush your teeth."

- Yeah, but my line's funny.

- Here we go again. What do you wanna do?

She can't say that. She can't say it.

You wrote the line. You tell her.

- Censor says no, Dixie.

- Screw the censor. Maybe that's the answer.

What do you say, Jack?

Four o'clock, Hotel Edison, Room 809?

Let's everybody take five, OK?

Dixie, it's me, for Christ's sakes.

Leave me alone, Eddie.

I don't wanna talk about it.

- What are you gonna do? The way he says?

- Yeah.

- Harold, take a hike, will you?

- It's Danny.

He's cutting school,

he doesn't come home at night.

- He's 12 years old. He's growing up.

- Eddie, stop. Just stop.

Dixie, Eddie, look who's here,

Oh, my God. Eddie, look. In the fish tank.

It's... the sponsors!

Gentlemen, may I say...

your coffee, I can't live without it,

because it's not just coffee.

It's nectar, it's ambrosia,

it's really like a drug, isn't it?

You probably do put a little narcotic in it,

I've gotta have that coffee!

Sorry, Dixie. We're out of time.

Everybody be back in 30 for air.

Eddie, your wife and daughters

are in the greenroom.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- Mummy, may I have a pretzel, please?

- No, darling. You'll spoil your appetite.

- Hello, Daddy.

- Hello, my angel.

- Hi, Daddy.

- Sweetheart.

So, how was traffic?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes