Forces of Nature Page #2

- Oh, baby, come to Daddy.|- Well, take it easy, Jack.

What I wouldn't give|for an ass like that.

- Huh? Here we go.|- Hi.

- This is me.|- Really?

Well, this is your|lucky day, sweetheart.

We got just about enough room|tor one ot you, darlin'.

Must be destiny, huh?

- Careful.|- Okay.

- Excuse me.|- Yeah.

- Sorry.|- Hmm?

I was reading what you were writing. My|eye just kind of wandered over. Sorry.

Do you work for Hallmark?

Even if I had seen you looking at it,|that wouldn't bother me.

Well, I don't care either.

I'm absolutely tascinated you|can't admit you saw me reading it.

If I had seen you reading it,|I'd be perfectly happy to admit it.

Then why did you|close your computer?

I'm known to do that|trom time to time.

I'm a rebel. I'll open it,|then I'll close it again just like that.

Don't get next to my fire,|because you'll get burned.

This is not working properly.

Stewardess, this isn't-|Miss? Thank you.

You're a little jumpy|tor a rebel, aren't ya?

My seat belt's|not functioning properly.

He's a scared flier.|Jack Bealy, Snap-On Tools.

Sarah Lewis.|And you are?

Ben Holmes. Really,|I'm not that scared.

- Jack's- - I can assure you|absolutely nothing is going to happen.

I speak from experience.|I was a tlight attendant. There you go.

Oh, yeah?|In one ot those little uniforms?

Please stay calm!

Oh, my God!

Hold on!

Oh, my God!|This is a disaster.

- Daddy.|- Oh, for heaven sake.

- Let's go live-|- On the other hand,

you can never have|too many ot these.

- It's tabulously colorful.|- Give you that.

How tar do you think|I could throw it?

Don't you dare, young-|Give me that now.

To the hospital for minor injuries.

Ceramic clown trom the?

- Brewsters.|- My God! That's Ben!

There's no official word|on the cause of the crash.

There may have been|a foreign object-

Let's get some help!

She hit her head.

Everyone's pretty shook up.

We had a couple ot passengers go to|a local hospitaI with concussions.

Oh, my God. There he is again.

Call me!|Oh, Ben! I love you.

Call me! No. Go back.

There you have it.|The latest information-

Hello? Ah, Ben!

Hi, honey. Yeah, I'm fine.|No, I'm okay.

I'm a little trazzled.

I mean, I was|in a plane crash.

This place is a nightmare.

People are running around.|I guess they lost everything.

I don't care about any ot that.|I'm just so happy you're okay.

I- I-I just wish that-

- Ben! Ben, listen.|- TelI him, um-

- What happened?|- You just get yourself down here sate and sound.

The thing is, I'm a little bit scared|to fly before I was in a plane crash,

so I don't teel|much like getting-

- Jesus!|- You are a god.

- You are a god amongst all men. Do you realize that?|- I'm on the phone.

- Sorry.|- Do you mind?

- What in the hell?|- Just one ot the passengers.

- He saved my lite!|- She's kidding.

It's a joke.

I'm gonna get a rental car|and drive down there, okay?

I'll call you w-w-when|I have a finalized plan.

Okay, great.|Thank you, sir.

Sorry. I couldn't|contain myself.

It's amazing when you think about it.|We almost died today. Dead.

Isn't there a rent-a-car this way?|Are we goin' the right way?

It I died, how|many people would care?

I mean, really care.|You'd have your shares of "What a shame.

What a waste.|She was so young. "

- But no real crying.|- It might be in that terminal.

No eating disorders,|no attempted suicides.

Nothing.|Absolutely depressed.

You know what?|I'm thoroughly depressed.

I just need to shake it otf.

So what were you thinking?

I was thinking how it would attect|our trequent flier miles.

What do you do|tor a living?

I'm a, uh,|jacket copywriter.

Huh. What does that mean?

- Means I write jackets to books basically.|- Oh.

Do mostly fiction,|but I do some nontiction.

You do blurbs. You're a blurb writer.|You're a "blurbologist. "

I'm a jacket copywriter.

As you can imagine,

- due to today's minor incident-|- Oh, sh-

Nada cars. Non cars.|Cars nyet.

You should have called|as soon as you got otf the plane.

Why didn't I think of that|when I was unconscious...

and bleeding trom the head?

So, cars nyet. We can check|the other airports though.

No, that's all right.|You can go ahead.

I'm not that big a fan ot the idea|of getting on another plane today...

or tomorrow or ever,|it that soon.

But you go ahead. I think I'm gonna be a|ground transportation kind ot guy trom now on.

I'll be right back.

How ya doin'?|Did ya get a car?

- This is Vic. He's gonna give us a ride.|- All the way to Georgia?

Sure. We split the cost|ot the car, the gas, whatever.

- Great.|- Good. Let's go.

- Okay.|- Wait, wait, wait. We don't even know this guy.

- He's Vic.|- Oh, he's Vic.

Great, he's Vic.|He chops us up, leaves us in the woods.

That's why I asked that you|come along to protect me.

How do you know|that I'm not dangerous?

I said, hallelujah|to the 16 royal fins

You're gettin' down|on your knees

And it's time for|your sickness again

Come on and|tell me what you need now

Tell me what is|making ya bleed

We got two more minutes sayin' we're|gonna cut you what you need

What's your story, Ben?|What's down in Savannah?

- My wedding, Vic.|- No kiddin'. That's great.

- Isn't that great?|- Yeah, it's a blessing.

- First marriage?|- That I know of, yeah.

Yeah, I was married once.

One day I walk into the house|and I hear the shower runnin'.

I had Chinese tood with me, figurin'|it would be a nice romantic surprise.

She starts singin'|in the shower.

What's that song?|"Up in the sky"? "Up with the eagles"?

- '"Wind Beneath My Wings. " Very touching song.|- "Wind Beneath My Wings. "

Suddenly there's another|voice in the shower with her.

- Oh, no.|- A baritone.

Uh-oh.

Now it's a treakin' duet.

So I walk in the bathroom and|there she is... with my brother.

- Oh!|- I grab my brother and throw him through the window naked.

He broke his leg|in two difterent places.

Dare we ask what,|uh, became of your wife?

I put the wind beneath her ass|and sent her packin'. Divorced her.

She never got a penny,|the lyin', whorin', adulteratin' pig.

What about you, sweetheart?|What's your story?

I'm going down to visit my brother|and hang out with my nephew.

That's nice. Kids.

- Yep. Got any?|- Nah. But I see 'em all over.

Come on, come on

So what else have you|jacket copywritten?

What else did I do?|The low point of my career was...

I did the blurb|tor a thriller...

about a woman-|an archaeologist-

who tinds love|in the pyramids.

It was called|Me And My Pharaoh.

- I have that book.|- No, you don't.

Yes, I do. "A scintillating tale|ot erotic mummitication. "

I wrote that line.

Oh, my God! That's|why I bought the book.

Anybody who could tind embalming|either scintillating or erotic...

had to be read.

- It was brilliant.|- Well, you know, I mean, it's all about adjectives.

I was gonna go with "engaging tale|ot erotic mummitication" tirst.

- But then I said, no, scintillating.|- Right on the money.

It's still selling now,|but at least I get to write.

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