Forget Paris Page #4

What did i say? Just because you're havin'

a bad game, don't take it out on me!

- You're outta here, kareem!

- Are you nuts? This is my farewell game!

- Good! Well, let me be the first to say "farewell."

- No, no, no, no!

You're nuts, man!Really?

What are you laughin' at?

- Nothin'.

- No? That's it! Technical! For lying!

- Are you crazy?

- Am i crazy?

You're outta here too!

You're throwin' me

out of the game?Take a walk, isaiah!

What the hell's goin' on? You don't run

this league! Nobody paid to see you ref!

Nobody paid to see you do anything!

Get outta here, laimbeer!

This is not over!

I'm gonna see you again!

Good, because

i'll still have this!

Big deal!

You're outta the game!

You're terrible!Get off the court!

It was horrible.

He snapped.

You're out! You're out!He threw out

both starting teams,

A coach, a trainer,

kareem's parents...

And the guy who puts cheese

on the nachos.

They had to take mickey out

in an armored van.

He had committed the

cardinal sin of refereeing:

He brought his personal life

onto the court. I can't believe it.

The league suspended him

for a week.

He was in bad shape.

So what did he do?

What are you doing here?

What is with this airline?

Now they lost my mother.

Get over here.

I have five brothers.

All older.A little princess.

Yeah. Yeah.

They were all high school wrestling

champions, so they had the wrestling ears.

I just remember, "no potatoes, mom.

I gotta make weight."

After the match it would be, "he pinned me!

How did he pin me?"

So it was necessary for me to live

in a completely different world.

But why france?

Why here?

You know the madeleine books, where the little

french girl goes off to boarding school?

Well, my mother bought me the

whole set when i was young,

And...

I think i was

madeleine.

She made me the hat

just like her.

I used to walk around wichita

talking with a little french accent.

Everybody thought i was crazy,

but i ended up here, so...

Are your folks

still around?

My dad is,

but my mother died when i was in high school.

I wish she could've

seen me here.

What?

It's just your face.

When you were telling me the story,

you just looked so beautiful.

Stop.

Hey, ellen,

let's sit down for a little while, okay?

All right.

Ellen, i don't know if this is

just the right time for me,

Or how we met,

Or just how wonderful

you are, but...

I really love you...

And i want us

to get married.

Oh, mickey,

i ammarried.

Wait, is this again to see

if i'm paying attention?

No. This part was real.

What?

When, in the last

couple of months?

No, no, no.

Two years.

Where is he?

We're separated.

I mean, we might get back together, but...

But you...

you're here with me.

I-I'm confused.

You'reconfused?

You're...

All the time we're together,

you never said anything, you never implied...

Well, i'm not like you;

i can't tell everybody my whole life.

Okay, but hit an occasional highlight like,

"i'm married."

You don't do this

to a person, you know?

You don't walk around being fabulous

when you know you're not available.

- How do you think i feel?

- I don't have a clue!

Let's recap, okay?

Here's what we know about you:

You're from wichita;

you got five brothers with bad ears;

You're great in bed;

and, oh, yes, you're married!

I'm overflowing

with facts!

Why don't you just sit down

and shut up for a second.

I'm in trouble here.

I'm trying to decide if i

should salvage a bad marriage.

I've fallen in love

with someone else.

I just think my problems are

a little bigger than yours,

So let's have a holiday

from sarcasm, all right?

You love me?

Is he french?

Yes.

Is he handsome?

Yes.

Is he rich?

Yes.

Does he have a sister?

Ohh!

If you got him,

what do you need me for?

He doesn't

make me laugh.

No?No.

He makes me miserable.

- Well, i can do that. Ellen, give me a chance.

- No.

Ellen, please.I can't, mickey.

Ellen, where are you going?

Ellen!

So, what happened?

He came home again. Alone?

Alone. Only this time,

he's determined not to eat his heart out.

If she's not available,

she's not available, period.

He'll just go back to seeing

the women he was seeing before. Who was he seeing?

oh, mickey was seeing a

wide variety of interesting women.

So, mickey, am i

going to see you tonight?

- Mickey.

- You call me. - Tonight.

It was a rich, full life.

Then one night, mickey's

in charlotte, north carolina.

It's an off night,

so he's all alone.

Just him and the guy coughing

in the next room.

Hey! Attack of

the phlegm creature!

You ever think about

going to a hospital?

Come on, cough it up.

Spit it up already!

Coming up next,

more women's bodybuilding.

Too much of a good thing.

He called her?

No. He called me.

I was in bed...

Hello.Uh, reading.

Andy, how're ya doin'?Mickey! Where are you?

You know what? I don't know.

I have to check my itinerary.

Yeah, i'm either

in denver or charlotte.

Yeah, i got a room

next to doc holliday.

- Mmm!

- Do you remember that fourth grade substitute teacher?

Remember she crossed her legs

and we went nuts?

Remember she had the garters, hooks and the

whole thing? We didn't know what it was.

Uh, miss... pitter.

Oooh, bam! You're right.

Miss pitter.

How'd you remember that?

Why, did you run into her?No, i was planning on

masturbating later,

And i just wanted a name

to go with the picture.

Mickey,

are you all right?

No. I-I...

I'm really lonely,

i don't feel good and...

Well, um,

could i call you back in a few minutes?

Could you hold on

just a second?

I want to talk to you, but i got this professional

cougher here who wants to fight with me.

Hold on just a second.

All right?

Listen, you've been

keeping me up all night.

I just want...

What are you doing here?

Do you sleep

with the window open?

Uh... yeah.

I don't like it.

You're gonna have to stop that.

Okay.

Do you squeeze the toothpaste

from the top or the bottom?

Uh... top.

Well, don't do that.

I hate that.

If you ever use my car,

You better put the mirror and

the seat back where i like it.

Don't use my razor

to shave any part of you.

If you ever start

to lose your hair,

You'd better not grow that long

thing down from your sideburns...

That you wrap around your head,

'cause it's disgusting.

Don't ever hand me food and say,

"taste this. See if it's bad."

All right.Okay? Okay.

Wanna talk about religion, politics,

whether you want kids or not?

That crap'll all work itself out.

We've handled the big issues.

All right,

i'll marry you.

I love you.I love you.

And that was it.

You listened the whole time?

Yeah. It was beautiful.In a minute.

Oh, honey, that was nice.

That was

a really nice story.

It's so romantic

when she comes back.

Hey, hi!Liz, what's the matter?

What happened?Nothing.

Why does every woman

you're with end up crying?

They don't.

Will you sh...hi.

I...no, no, no.

Andy was just telling me

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