Forgetting Sarah Marshall

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Good for you, Pete. Good for you.

Access Hollywood spotlight

on sexy crime fighter Sarah Marshall.

Hi, everybody, welcometo Access Hollywood. I'm Billy Bush.

Each week, millions of viewers love to watch

Ms Marshall's brainy sexpot character,Maddy Stark,

alongside Billy Baldwin'sdark and brooding,

hard-to-love lead detective, Hunter Rush.

- And this isn't your jurisdiction.- I just made it my jurisdiction.

Can you say "catfight"?

Off-screen, Sarah cosies up

to her successful composer boyfriend,Peter Bretter.

He's no household name,

yet Bretter's dark and ominous score hasset the tone for this gruesome juggernaut.

Take a look.

What do you think?

I think it's gonna be hardfor her to re-enter the pageant

without a face.

Looks like the sky's the limitfor this adorable couple.

Anything could happen.

We got to do somethingWe got to do something

Before Mother Earth gets any more hurt

We got to do something

We leave you tonight with the newestsmash single from Infant Sorrow.

Lead singer and notorious lothario,Aldous Snow, begs us to change

in his environmental anthem,We've Got to Do Something.

I hope, for once, we all hear the message.Good night.

Mr Prime Minister and Mr PresidentYou better see that it's not only me

No, a mob is rising in sizeAnd they've been dying to scream

Hey, baby.

Just working.

Salad.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally.

I didn't realise thatyou were gonna be back so early.

Great. I'll see you in a bit.

Okay, bye.

It's time to do something

Someone should do somethingWe got to do something

And that someone is you and youAnd you and you

I pray it ain't all lost and gone

I pray we might learn right from wrong

And I pray this broken daywill not last too long

Hey, you got here fast.I got a surprise for you.

Peter, as you know,

I love you very much.

Are you breaking up with me?

- Pete, are you...- I just need a minute.

Okay.

Please don't go.

Why don't you just put on some clothes,and we can sit down and discuss this.

No. I can't do anything right now.

I'm so sorry, Pete.

I'm in love with you.

Why don't you justput some clothes on, okay?

I'm not going to go put clothes on.

I know what that means,if I put clothes on, it's over. Okay?

Excuse me.

Let's talk. Let's talk about him.

I feel...

I've been feeling

for a long timethat we've been growing apart.

We're leading different lives.

Who's the dude?

- Who's the dude?- What?

No, that's not what this is about.There's no one else.

I know what's happening here. I really do.

You've been working so much lately, that wehaven't got to spend much time together,

and you're forgettingwhat it's like to be with me.

But maybe, if we just held each otheror something,

you would rememberwhat it's like to be with me.

- No.- Just hold me.

Please. Here we go.

There's someone else.

I'm sorry.

We don't hang out in places like this,Liz and I.

Why did you take me here?This place smells like stripper's perfume.

I'm gonna get herpesjust from sitting on this couch.

- Sure you okay, bro? Yeah?- Yeah.

Yeah. You don't have to keep asking me.I'm good.

- You're out!- Thank you so much for this opportunity.

- Auf Wiedersehen!- Auf Wiedersehen!

MAN ON T. V..:
Thank you. Thank you all.

Auf Wiedersehen!

I feel really good. I feel happy.

Maybe you should workon the Dracula musical.

Look, you've been working on it for a while.It'll help your mind. Be creative.

- Think about you.- I think I need to f*** somebody.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

You're not my stepbrother any more.You're a step-stranger.

- Why you talking like that?- Brian!

You don't need to putyour P in a V right now.

No, I don't.I need to B my L on somebody's T's.

That's disgusting.You don't need to be doing that.

And if anything,you should leave your P in the V

and blow it inside the V,so you can have a B-A-B-Y

and be a normal person.

I'm leaving, man. I'm out of here.

She's f***ing somebody.Okay, Bri? It's all I can think about,

is that she's out there,

and until I do the same thing,I'm gonna feel like I wanna die.

So just talk to girls with me tonight,all right?

All right. All right, I'll help you out.I'll talk to girls with you.

So, Peter, what do you do?

Musician.

He's being modest.He works on a show called Crime Scene.

Oh, my God!

- It is what it is, you know?- No, I love that show.

Wait, Crime Scene: Scene of the Crimeor Crime Scene: Phoenix?

- Scene of the Crime.- Oh, my God! I love that show.

I find you both very sexually attractive.

Let's pump the brakes. Okay?

I think that having sex with either of you

would be a great treat for me.

You are so funny.

I just got out ofa five-and-a-half-year relationship,

so I'm not looking for anything serious.

- Just sexual activity.- Let's wrap it up, buddy.

You wanna come home?

I'm sorry, you're cracking me up.

- Oh, yeah?- Yeah.

Do you wanna come home?

Stop it, seriously.

- That was fun.- Yeah, yeah.

Overall, I think that went really well. Yeah.

I want to have sex with you!

- Are you crying?- What? No.

I'm sorry that I'm being so weird now.

No, that's okay.

You've been weird

pretty much the whole time,so it's not unusual. Okay.

Last night, like some sort of idiot, I had sexwith this woman who I barely even know.

I used a condom, but

I'm really scared that I have an STD, Doc.

Peter, I'm a paediatrician. Have you noticedyou're sitting on a fire truck?

- Right.- Little kids running?

- Yeah, this is new. I like it.- I'm kind of backed up...

Could you take a look at my penis?

Go ahead. Let me see it.

- Sorry.- That's all right. Take it out.

Good.

- You barely looked at it.- It's a good-looking dick, Peter.

- Beautiful dick.- Do you think maybe while I'm here,

- I could get some blood work?- Peter!

Your girlfriend dumped you, right?Are you hurting? Are you hurt?

Stop it. Stop crying. Use your dick.Keep f***ing. F*** everything that moves.

Just wear a condom.

Listen, I'm backed up,I got a lot of kids. I gotta go, okay?

You want something?You want a balloon? You want a lolly?

I just came!

Hi.

Hi.

- Hi.- Hi.

Hi.

- Hi.- Hi.

Okay, do you mind not saying thatover and over again?

You can gag me.

- You brought a gag?- And handcuffs.

Do you wanna gag me?

Kind of, now.

What've we got today?

Just a walk and talk at the lab.

That's what 20 years on Vice will do to you.

What've we got here?

The victim's penis was foundbehind the AC unit.

Ouch!

Can you say "dicksicle"?

Let's do this.

Okay, I'm ready.

The victim's peniswas found behind the AC unit.

Just go with the usual stuff, maybe.Something dark and ominous.

Like losing your penis is a bad thing.

Oh, you want dark and ominous.

Come on, I got Allman Brother tickets,I gotta get out of here!

That's what 20 years on Vice will do to you.

What've we got here?

Peter! Peter, Jesus Christ!

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