Fotograf Page #5

If only my simple "Thanks" could

resonate in his ears like a fine gem.

- Sis, what are you mumbling?

- Those are all my cousins.

Nice to see you, Holy. Excuse me, Auntie.

- Holy.

- All are the Holy here.

How can you let him photograph you

naked? Such a disgrace.

What do people say about it?

Being naked isn't bad.

That's the way God made us.

So what? You're some model?

A respectable girl doesn't do that.

And you call yourself a good Christian?

Oh no...

What did you promise me?

Leave my mom alone.

You said not your sister,

but nothing about your mother.

Mommy...

The Holy.

Absolutely all the Holy are here.

Hello!

I'm here regarding the f***!

What?

Said the Count alongside...

What? I'll kill you.

It would be a beautiful death, if you'd

crush my head with your beautiful derrire

Jesus really loves you, doesn't he?

A good Jewish boy worked hard for love.

Let's sing.

What kind of man are you?

Come on, let's sing along:

My dear travelled...

What? You know it.

- So, let's sing along.

- ...my sweet maiden, to Bavor.

Tra-la-la to Bavor.

Tra-la-la to Bavor.

And she tore her box,

her gash, her hole, her twat,

the beaver near her butt over a pail.

Tra-la-la over a pail,

tra-la-la over a pail.

The sauerkraut is sour, the carrot sweet.

The front is hairy, the butt sleek.

And I plough my dear alone.

What...?

Jesus'n'Mary.

- Flowers.

- Yeah. Stay outside.

Marketa?

How do you feel?

Hello.

Give me...

I'm going to see the doctor.

- Come with me. Don't stand around here.

- Yeah, yeah.

I'm sorry, you feel worse.

You have the rest of

Jan's negatives, return it.

- It would be beneficial for us all, no?

- Out.

Out!

- Are we expecting someone? -That could be

the crew, about the documentary.

- No.

- What "No"?

- I'm not here.

- It's agreed upon.

- Don't open. I'm not home.

- How can I not open... Jan...

- I'm going to open it. It's agreed upon.

- I'm not here!

Hello and welcome. Come in, please.

Jan!

- Here is where you should set up.

- Jan, come and join us.

He's probably hiding. Jan!

Jan, come on! They're waiting.

Welcome, ladies.

I apologize. Today it won't work.

- We must move it to another time.

- Another time? But we're agreed on today.

- I'm not feeling very well.

- You can't do this to us. Ms. Liba...

- I'm telling you I don't feel well.

- Ms. Liba, please persuade Jan.

- We don't have another day.

- I apologize, Jan isn't feeling well.

We have a family problem.

Jan has a seriously ill wife.

Jan, I don't want to ask you

anything uncomfortable.

Just maybe about

your childhood and adolescence.

Childhood? That terrible time,

which everyone adores?

When everyone orders you about and

you understand nothing? No, thank you.

- I apologize you have to go.

- Your childhood...

- I'm not well. Respect that.

- You think that was caused by the war?

That was but one thing. The second thing

was my tremendous desire for p*ssy

but it never occurred to any owner of

p*ssy to comfort me by spreading her legs.

Would you spread your legs for me, ladies?

It takes so little to make you happy?

Sometimes yes.

What are you smiling about?

Wait a moment.

I truly apologize. Please don't be angry.

Here's a present... as an apology.

My, it's magnificent.

Really, I can't accept this.

If you like this, take it. I'll scribble

something for you next time.

I accept it with your promise that

next time we'll get through the interview.

I promise we'll get

through it next time. Good-bye.

Miss director! I apologize

but I have to take back the painting.

Tomorrow it's traveling to an exhibition.

I can give you this smaller one instead.

It's of the same value.

Thank you. But please, the interview.

I'm counting on you.

- I'm thinking about it. Good-bye.

- Good-bye.

Jan, you specifically said

that this painting is good.

I gave her the one you don't like much.

- How could you take that liberty?

- What?

Because of your welfare.

You can't hand out all your stuff.

That's not your thing! So, I give

someone a picture and you take it back?

What are you thinking?

When I return,

it'd be better if you're not here.

"Jan, I love you."

Jan, don't be angry.

I don't want to stalk or disturb you.

You've never stayed anywhere all night.

Are you okay?

I don't give a damn.

The night is beautiful!

- And where are you?

- I don't know where I am.

- Really, where are you?

- I don't know.

In the matrix of Prague,

where I was born,

where I experienced

so much evil and so much good!

I'm coming for you, OK?

Just tell me where exactly you are.

Where am I...

There, where princess Libuse foretold.

I see a great city!

Incidentally, did you know

that Libuse was a man?

- So where should I go?

- I'll find out. It's just here.

I'm looking now. Wait a moment.

It's... what is this?

By, by Foot... futil... hills.

By foot... by Foothills, Liba.

What? By Foothills?

I don't know that.

Look at the tram number.

Or, at least what the next stops are.

Fragrant, Pungent.

Standing, Dangling. Wait.

Jan, please, for real.

I'm in Nusle.

No, no, no. Liba, I'm in Liben.

Jan...

I've been looking all over for you.

You're soaked through. Come on.

Get this car going. Let's go.

Come on, quickly home.

Let's go!

- You scared me.

- We're going home!

TWO YEARS LATER:

I'm here.

I have an idea.

I should use an artist's name.

Why?

Why? To be more fine, noble.

A few bucks and it's done.

I'm thinking of Rachel.

That's a beautiful name, Rachel?

You?

You think for a few bucks

you'll be someone else?

- What?

- An artist's name? What do you know?

What do you have against it?

You're butchering such a beautiful name!

You know what?

Show me how you're constipated.

Push it! Show me how you're constipated.

How I can show you I'm constipated?

Push it!

Show me how you push when

you're constipated. I need to shoot this.

Jeez, stand up and show me

how you're constipated. Squat down.

Squat down and push.

Jeez, push! Push!

You see, it... I give you a... Come here.

Sit here and push! Do it!

Great. Truly nice.

You know diddly-squat.

Rachel.

- You know what I need?

- What?

More than your artist's name?

I need that you finally...

...lick Katka's butt.

What?

Jan, leave it.

- I like you.

- You spoil everything!

Like... like...

I need passion that can crush a rock!

Everyone's full of sh*t about morality.

Everyone's so virtuous!

F***ing hypocrites,

with heads full of perverse images,

and they are offended by me!

Liba.

Liba. I badly need you to call your mom.

I need your mom to come here.

Why? I don't understand.

I need her to get me past this loneliness.

Can you arrange for your mom to come?

- Hi.

- Ciao. What are you doing here?

I was passing by. It's nice here.

Really, beautiful things.

- Why'd you come?

- I want to talk to you about something.

- It's sometimes difficult with Jan.

- You're not serious.

Now you're going to cry here

and I should comfort you?

We can be friends, since we're family.

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