Found Footage 3D Page #3

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Carl:
What? What?

Mark:
Do you hear that?

Carl:
Hear what?

Mark:
Shh. Listen.

Carl:
What the f*** is that?

Mark:
I don't know, but

where's your sound gear?

Carl:
It's moving.

Whatever it is, it's

f***ing moving.

Mark:
Moving?

Lily:
What are

you guys doing?

Mark:
Shh.

Lily:
What are you doing?

Mark:
Shh, listen.

Andrew:
What's goin' on?

Carl:
Some creepy f***in'

sounds is what's goin' on.

Andrew:
That's fine,

sh*t, it's country noises,

just go back to sleep.

Carl:
That was not a

f***in' country noise!

Andrew:
No, no it wasn't.

Lily:
What are

you doing, Andrew?

Carl:
Hey, what

are you doin'?

Andrew:
It's fine,

don't worry about it.

Carl:
You don't

go investigate!

Have fun out there.

Andrew:
Mark.

Lily:
Shh, you

guys aren't seriously

going out there are you?

Mark:
Yeah, I guess

he wants me to film

our last moments for posterity.

Andrew:
Stay close.

F***, f***!

Mark:
What?

Andrew:
Was that a deer?

It was a deer, dude.

Mark:
Awe man.

Andrew:
Dude, Jesus,

what the f*** was that?

Awe f***, man.

Mark:
What was that?

Andrew:
Hello?!

Mark:
Andrew?

Andrew:
Okay,

okay, okay, shh, shh.

Jesus.

Oh no.

Oh come on, f***.

Oh come on, man, come on.

Andrew:
What the f*** is

that? What the f*** is that?

Aww!

Sh*t!

What the f***? Derek?

-Ow. Dammit.

Oh f***, you broke it.

Andrew:
We broke it?

-Yeah, look at it.

Jesus Christ.

Did you guys hear

those creepy sounds?

Andrew:
That's very cute,

that's very cute.

-Hey, don't tell

anybody else, okay?

This is our little

creepy secret, alright?

I just wanna set the

vibe for the shoot.

Get the tone right, okay?

Andrew:
That's

terrific, cute.

-Hey, the first scare is

always a false scare, right?.

Lily:
Did that come out

Derek:
It sure did.

A little maple syrup stain.

-Hi mark.

Lily:
My arm's

about to fall off.

-It doesn't feel heavy at

first, does it, but then...?

Lily:
Uh-uh.

-There it is.

-Okay, good, you guys getting

the editing bay set up?

-These are so gross.

Jesus!

-So, basically, the script was

written by myself and Derek.

-Uh..

-What?

-Nope, nothin', nevermind.

-No, what?

-No, it's just, i

mean, you came up with

the back story for

your character.

-I wrote several

finished scenes.

-You tweaked some of what

i had already written.

-Can we not do this

on camera please?

-Anyway, so yes, we

play a husband and wife

who come out to this

cabin in central Texas

that she inherited

from her great uncle--

-and my character is a

documentarian, a 3D enthusiast,

and I work too hard so my

wife resents me for it,

and with our relationship on

the verge of disintegrating

we come out here to reconnect.

-But of course, they find

more than they bargained for.

Andrew:
Really,

the way I see it,

it's as much about

the deterioration

of their relationship as

it is about anything,

you know, supernatural.

The ghost, or the monster,

whatever you wanna call it,

is a metaphor, although,

there are rumors that the

house is actually haunted.

Mark:
Haunted by what?

-So, apparently, the previous

owner of the house, who's--

-my character's great uncle.

-Yes, he murdered his wife,

and then dumped the body in

the lake behind the cabin.

-So, there's a hint

that maybe there's--

Carl:
Wait, wait a second.

This is a true story, isn't it?

For real? Seriously guys,

you brought us to a

cabin that's haunted

in the middle

of the woods

where a husband

murdered his wife

to shoot a movie about a

husband murdering his wife

at a haunted cabin in the woods?

-Yep, yep.

Carl:
For reals?

-Yeah.

-Do you mind if we actually

do the interview, Carl?

Carl:
Sure, no, go ahead.

-Pull up your pants.

-Seriously, though... am i

being a big wuss about all this?

-Um...

-I actually believe

in all that stuff.

I've seen a ghost.

-For real?

-Yeah.

When I was a little kid.

Right hand to god.

That's something you don't

ever really forget, you know?

And what is this by the way?

Are we suddenly a

British production?

The spec-tre of death.

Are we gonna see this

movie in the the-atre?

-Yeah, it's

terrifying actually.

I was reading it at night,

which is a big

mistake, and yeah,

I had nightmares, really

really awful nightmares.

So I guess it's doing what

it's supposed to be doing.

-Because we want them

to establish morning,

so I think the natural

light works here.

-I think this will be great.

-Carl, does it work for you?

-Hmm, the fridge is

gonna be a problem.

Andrew:
Why?

-The hum. We'll have to

unplug it during shooting.

-So, in every

found footage film,

we have to answer two questions,

the first of which is

"why are we filming?"

"What excuse do we

have for having

a camera document everything?"

That's usually answered

pretty early in the movie,

usually the first scene,

which we're actually

about to do right now.

Mark:
And the

second question?

-The second question

is exactly the same

as the first question

but for the third act.

It's usually "why the f***

haven't you put the camera down,

and run the hell away?"

If you answer that one wrong,

the whole third act just

completely falls apart.

Mark:
So, can you give

us a preview to the answer?

- Actually

no, not at the moment.

Mark:
Why not?

-There's no ending.

It actually stops

dead on page 71

in the middle of a scene.

I don't know if he has

an ending in mind,

you know, if he's just

trying to keep it secret

like they do in the

big tentpole movies,

the ones that people actually

give a sh*t about seeing.

-Yeah, no, we don't have

an ending right now,

but that's okay.

I mean, hey, worked on

apocalypse now, right?

What?

-Really?

Coppola?

-Yeah.

-You're comparing

yourself to coppola?

-He doesn't have an ending.

It's great, no, it's

good, it's good.

I don't mind, I do, well, hmm.

-Oh, oh, yeah, that

makes sense now.

-I'm gonna do it like this

so you can see my profile.

-Here we go, spectre of death,

we're about to shoot the very

first scene of our movie.

Scene one, take one.

Action!

-That's good, right?

Derek:
Oh, she loves it.

This woman loves cleaning,

she can't stop cleaning.

Thank you Derek, for

bringing me to a dirty

old cabin in the woods.

-Thank you Derek for

bringing me to a dirty

old cabin in the woods.

Derek:
You're

welcome, anytime.

-Babe?

Derek:
Yes.

-You promised you

weren't going to bring

that stupid camera.

Derek:
Whoopsy.

-We're supposed

to be on vacation.

Derek:
I know, we

are on vacation though.

This is in fact our

vacation video.

This is you, this is

the sink, this is us.

-It has absolutely

nothing to do

with that stupid ghost--

Andrew:
Sorry, wait,

cut for a second.

Derek:
Yeah, we dropped that.

Amy:
What?

-We don't have that.

Andrew:
Did you

not get the changes?

-No, what changes?

-Lily gave you the

pages yesterday, no?

-I left them on

your sleeping bag.

-Well, you don't just leave

a script laying around,

and hope that people see it.

Mark:
I'm sorry.

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