Four Boxes Page #3

where something hidden is,

things you hate but need,

in your area,

like, uh... new tires or...

vacuum-cleaner bags.

Those bran breakfast muffins,

sh*t like that.

Hatebutneed...

dot com.

Mmm...

poor guy.

Hi, Trevor.

He'll wake up.

I gave him a noctizine.

- Yeah, baby, yeah!

- Mm!

Yeah!

Yeah, baby!

Yeah, baby, yeah.

Righteous.

Trevor G. rocks my world.

Yeah!

Yeah, baby!

Yeah.

Righteous.

Ow.

Oh, my goodness...

Jesus and Joseph.

I'm numbly.

- What's up?

- You guys gotta look at this.

- Okay.

- Okay.

Crap...

He hurt her.

Should we tell someone about this?

Just watch, guys.

That's what the Internet's for.

Rob, I swear to God,

you are so twisted.

What?

Why's everybody against me here?

I can't believe I'm still hungry.

Here, have some Pop-Tarts.

We're busy watching this.

I don't want Pop-Tarts.

I want a frickin' McMuffin.

BFD, spaz!

So, go get one!

- Christ!

- Guys!

I should write a song about

how big computers are in our lives.

Oh, my God!

That's OOC!

Who loves computers

more than you?

My brother!

Oh, man...

What happened?

What happened?

Dah...

There's someone at the door.

I think it's the police

checking for a gas leak.

You mean the fuzz?

Yeah, he must've caught his chemicals

on some kinda sensor.

Come on, man.

Find her, hurry.

- Guys.

- Oh... my... crap.

This is insane.

Dudes, what if this is real?

Then it's awesome.

Rob, you're like a person

I don't even know sometimes.

Oh, yeah? Who cares?

Guys.

It's gotta be a joke, though, right?

Sh*t's real, Rob.

Some sh*t's actually real.

Don't get too, like, theoretical.

I'm just saying

it doesn't seem that likely...

that some lady

doing regular voyeur,

taking her clothes off, whatever,

splits and these two terrorists

show up and start building bombs

and killing people

while the cameras are on, does it?

God. Think sometimes, Bambo.

Guys, maybe that's it.

Maybe they're trying to terrify us...

I mean, terrorize us...

about how sick they are...

and how smart and all,

they are.

How many bombs they made.

So, uh... they make up this crap

about a naked woman,

or they actually get

a naked woman...

what better way

to attract attention...

and then they move over

to this stuff...

when they got a big audience.

Entertain 'em...

terrorize 'em.

That actually makes

a lotta sense.

So, it's about terror.

Big surprise.

What isn't nowadays?

- Bullshit.

- September 11th?

That was real, right, Rob?

You gotta remember, some stuff

is, like, actually happening.

Yeah, well, if it's happening,

don't worry about it.

Somebody else

is probably watching this sh*t.

Somebody else will figure it out.

Amber, wild wings, come on.

You're not staying here.

I gotta crap, Rob.

- I think there's something...

- This crap's real.

There's something

that we missed.

It's Friday. We were supposed

to be done with this job by now.

Amber!

- Let's roll!

- You need to step off, yo.

Shower, Rob.

Shower, shits, and wedding...

that's my life.

Yeah, so?

Meat- lover's pizza, "Halo 3"...

and "let me cum on your tits"...

that's my life.

Yo.

Rob...

I figured something major out.

Oh, yeah?

What you figure out, buddy?

The cylinders, the killer things,

are in people...

dead people in coffins...

being shipped home to be buried.

They dig them up

when they get where they're going,

and they get out the killer things...

the cylinders.

They put them in tail pipes.

Uh... there cities

marked on every box,

and they're going everywhere,

'cause they're impossible

to trace through the coffins...

and through

the people in the boxes.

Oh, man...

Cars are the killers.

And everybody dies.

Okay.

- Oh, man.

- What?

Well, everybody's gonna die.

Trevor!

What's the most...

pervasive thing you think about?

What do you mean?

Like work?

No.

Like for me, it's...

being afraid.

You know what I mean?

No.

Afraid... life's just gonna be

more of the same.

Like stuck...

Mother!

Hey.

So, what did we miss on the site?

What's up, douche?

- That guy's called Ziploc.

- Hmm.

Are you mad at me?

I'm mad at myself.

I act like such a kid.

- What'd I miss?

- Cleaning the place out.

That's Ziploc.

Nice name.

Maybe we'll get to see

if that guy finally gets offed.

This is the best sh*t

ever on the Internet.

Oh. He feels bad. Poor guy.

'Cause they're gonna do him.

Rob, 'cause he made something

that's gonna kill people, probably.

Or not.

I mean, why is he crying?

That's weird behavior,

if they're filming this to, like,

try and terrorize people.

Mmmm...

he looks depressed.

I know how bad he feels.

Look, he's doing

something up there, see?

Hmm.

What I love

about Internet shows is no ads.

Let's hope that's not

the end of the story.

'Cause that sh*t

was weak as crap.

Although half the time, I love ads.

I don't know.

I'm going for a run.

I need to work off some of this

Monterey Jack, for Christ sakes.

Oh, I guess I'll go with.

William Zill.

"Basement ceiling.

Red key".

We're in "Four Boxes".

- What's up?

- Rob, you're cracked.

- Rob, where are you guys?

- Keeping it real, Amber!

You guys gotta get back here

right f***ing now.

- Uh-huh.

- "Four Boxes", uh...

it was a fake.

It was a set.

They took it down.

You won't believe this.

You're not gonna believe this, dude.

It's a house.

It's this house.

We're inside of "Four Boxes".

- Right.

- And I'm really freaked out.

You guys got to get back here

right f***ing now.

I guess they f***ing

taped it... earlier.

It's this place, hombre!

N.J... no joke.

I found the cash

in the suitcase.

I... which I guess is what Ziploc

was looking for at the end.

Yeah, Rob.

F***ing real money

hidden in the ceiling.

And if the cash is real,

then Ziploc's real,

and he's gonna be coming...

'cause of the f***ing note

in the ribbon...

typewriter ribbon.

So, you guys gotta get back here

right f***ing now.

Okay, okay, okay.

Um, if the...

if the MF-ing website

was filmed here,

then, um... the cameras

are there and everywhere.

So, the action we were watching...

wasn't live.

It was taped.

And Havoc didn't know

he was being filmed.

Or he did.

Why would Havoc film this?

To terrorize people.

He's a f***ing terrorist.

He's a f***ing terrorist.

We're in Havoc's house.

Oh, my God.

Ziploc in this house.

Oh, f*** me!

Rob!

I'm scared.

Okay, okay.

Good.

Um...

"Silent/Microphone".

Rob switched that when we got here.

What's that?

It's a "Live Webcast".

We've been watching a webcast?

Okay, switch it to "live".

Oh, f*** me!

Send the police right now.

It's an emergency.

I'm at, uh... I'm, uh...

William Zill's house,

uh... at Deer Run Lane,

and there's, uh...

a Middle Eastern man...

wearing a turban,

and, uh... he's got no face,

and he's... he's, um...

uh... he's a terrorist!

So, come now.

Please! God! Hurry!

He's a f***ing terrorist!

Oh, f***.

Don't come down here.

Come on, come on, come on.

F*** this!

Okay.

Here we go.

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