Four Christmases Page #2

I know it's been three years.

I wish I would've

called you sooner.

But Kate sent all

the gifts and stuff to you.

Okay.

That's Merry Christmas

in Burmese.

All right, I'll tell her.

I love you too. Bye.

Learned

"Merry Christmas"?

I gotta take everything

to the next level.

Come on, let's do this.

I'm excited.

Attention, San Francisco

passengers.

All flights

have been grounded...

...due to

weather conditions.

Sir, excuse me.

Your flight is not going out.

But what I can do

is get you set up for standby...

...on the first flight

to Fiji tomorrow. Okay?

Tomorrow won't be great.

We've scheduled

the couple's massage...

I'm sorry, sir. I don't make

the fog, I deal with it.

The best I can do is get you

a suite at the Radisson.

They have lovely accommodations

next to the airport.

You promise?

At the Radisson?

-Did you hear that?

-Brad.

No, that's terrific.

Would it be possible

to take us out...

...and get us McDonald's

as desert?

I'll start missing

flights often.

With this kind of

red carpet service.

-Terrific. A suite.

-Brad, please.

That's not helping, Brad.

Is there another airline...

...that you're affiliated with?

Like a sister airline?

-No, I'm sorry.

-Do you have a cousin airline?

How about one your

airline's filled out before?

The FAA has ruled that bay

area fog is simply too thick.

No flights are coming in

and no flights are going out...

...until at least

tomorrow morning.

Let's see how travelers

are coping in all of this task.

We have a couple over here.

Excuse me, sir?

Where are you headed

for this Christmas?

We're live on the air.

You look

dressed for vacation.

We're taking...

And we take the trips.

We'll take a different trip.

What he's trying to say is

that we plan a trip every year.

This is actually

ruining our Christmas.

You must be pretty upset.

Are you visiting family?

This is Kate.

Hi, Mom.

I know, Mom. All the flights

were cancelled.

-They're not...

-It's Dad.

They're not sure

if it'll be today.

You want me to answer it?

Do I answer or no?

Do I pick it up or not?

Yes, I know. I understand

you have feelings.

What? What do you want me to do?

I don't know what this means.

He's gonna

give you a big hug.

-I'm not hugging anybody.

-He's excited.

-We'll see you at noon.

-Noon?

Kate, are you crazy?

Did you commit us to go?

What did you want me to say?

They saw us on the news.

We're not

inoculating babies in Burma.

-No...

-We're stuck here.

What did you say to your dad?

I told my dad that we'll

be going over there.

Don't compare

your situation.

-You kidding?

-There's new stuff...

...that you're missing.

My Dad's a unique

animal. Your mother's not.

My dad, your mom.

My mom, your dad.

Great.

We'll see

Know what this means?

What you committed us to?

I know exactly

what this means.

Brad.

Baby.

I don't want to fight.

I don't wanna fight either.

-I hate this.

-We never fight. I'm sorry.

I love you.

This is what our families do

and what happens.

Mother makes me crazy

when I talk to her.

You're right.

Here's all we got to do.

Get through this

Four Christmases...

...as quickly and as painlessly

as possible.

Exactly. Promise me that no

matter what happens today...

...we'll still

have each other.

-Honey, of course we will.

-Okay.

If one of these

houses gets too intense...

-...we'll need a strategy.

-Yes.

We'll need a word that

means it's time to leave.

A safe word,

what it should be?

It's a good idea.

Mistletoe.

-Mistletoe is really good.

-Okay.

By the way, my father's house

can get uncomfortable.

Please do not feel embarrassed

if you feel the need...

...to pull the cord early,

say Mistletoe...

...if this house

gets too uncomfortable.

-Okay.

-Even if we're there for 10 min.

All right, I'll let you know.

I'm looking out for you.

Be cool.

I'm gonna go see

your dad and your brothers now.

Unless you're too weird

with it, then we're out.

-I'm going in.

-And going out would be...

-Mistletoe.

-Done. Let's get out of here.

Brad, we're going in.

Let's go.

Son of a b*tch.

The TV stars actually came.

-Merry Christmas.

-Merry Christmas, Dad.

Merry Christmas.

Good to see you.

-Thanks for having us.

-Good to see you.

-Come on in.

-Okay.

Let's... Let's celebrate.

Okay. Sounds good.

That's a lot

of presents you sent.

You're trying

to outdo us?

The biggest

one is for you, Howard.

Yeah? What is it?

I'm not gonna tell you.

What, are you crazy?

-Bro.

-Hey, buddy.

Baby!

Kate, these are my brothers:

Denver and Dallas.

-Hi, nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.

You must be Orlando's girl.

Orlando?

We're named after the cities

in which we're conceived.

I'm Denver, that's Dallas.

And this is Orlando.

Orlando?

My given name is Orlando.

But I changed it to Brad.

I'm Brad.

What?

Well, Merry Christmas

one and all.

-Ordeurs for anyone.

-Come on.

Who are you trying

to impress, Suze?

We also got beer in the back.

Ladies first.

Thank you so much.

What is this?

Is this cheese?

Yeah, spray.

Spray cheese from the famous

family of aerosol cheeses.

Give me a hand.

Here we go.

Do you have something

to say about my wife's cheese?

Hump it! Hump it!

I haven't seen

that in a while.

Shut it, soldier boy!

The spray cheese!

The spray cheese!

Bring it home, soldier boy.

God, honey. I'm so sorry

that you had to see that.

Let me

apologize for them.

If you wanna say "Mistletoe"

'cause it's too heavy, I get it.

I get it. Don't feel weird.

Need to get out, let me

know about your comfort zone.

That was weird.

Can't believe you didn't

tell me your name.

-What are you saying?

-l...

It's crazy.

We've been together for 3 years.

I don't know your name.

Isn't that odd?

No, it's not. I hated my name

so I changed it.

Don't say:
"My name used

to be a**hole, but it's Bob."

-Just:
"My name is Bob."

-Maybe to a stranger...

...but to somebody close?

You say your real name.

I don't want to get into

this now.

This is what I was

afraid would happen.

This is isn't us, it's them.

We're letting them in.

Your name isn't a**hole.

It's like your middle name.

Don't wanna be

blindsided again.

Very funny. Go ahead

and take a shot at me.

I have to deal

with those Neanderthals.

I gotta take it from you.

No, you shouldn't. You shouldn't

let them walk over you.

Kate, they're trained

USC fighters.

Know pressure

points on people.

You're twice their size.

They're semi-professional

cage fighters.

Like one person comes out,

one doesn't.

A cock fighting

but with dudes.

-Said they're personal trainers.

-They're dude cock fighters.

Like what you see on the PPV.

Exactly. Except they don't

actually get paid for it.

They brawl

in people's backyards...

...and they upload

the footage to YouTube.

Honey, my childhood was just

like "Shawshank Redemption".

Except I didn't have some kind,

older, soft spoken black man...

...to share my struggle with.

But you're not

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes