Four Christmases Page #7

-Beef.

Can't say "beef"!

I'm not saying the things!

-Get that? Just shush.

-Can't say "shush."

Okay, Mom,

I can say "shush."

-You can't say "shush."

-Kebab.

It's kebab.

It says I can't say "shish"!

Shish. Shish. Shish.

I'd say it,

I don't have it.

There's this thing

so that I can't see what it is.

Let's just move on.

Our time's up.

What's this attitude?

I don't have any.

I've shut down.

She buzzes me,

I'm trying to explain to you...

...how to play the game,

you don't get...

...the best ways to play

and I'm shutting down.

I wanna talk to you

about something.

I know what you want

to talk about.

You do?

I don't want you to apologize

because love...

...means never having to say

"I'm sorry." You know?

For the record,

I do forgive you.

When you're

playing board games...

...you shouldn't go so

conceptual, go more literal.

-How else will...?

-No, Brad.

I took a pregnancy test today.

You took what?

I took a pregnancy test today.

At my mom's.

It was in my sister's bag...

...I was in the bathroom,

I was late...

...and I thought I should

probably take a test.

-Honey, you pulled the goalie?

-What?

Can't pull the goalie

without checking.

I did not. That's not

what this conversation is about.

What?

What am I missing here?

Relax, Brad. It was negative.

I'm not pregnant.

Why don't you just hit

me with that from the start?

Instead of making me take laps

around the anxiety pool.

What is this reaction?

If there's one thing

we've learned...

...from being

around our families...

...it's of the dangers

of procreating.

That's not the things

we want in life.

Brad, I realized it today.

I thought

I'd always known...

...I didn't want to have kids.

Took this test...

...I'm waiting for

positive or negative...

...and I thought...

I felt...

...different. You know?

I felt hopeful.

Maybe it would happen...

...and we'd be forced

to get over our fears.

We've spent so much time...

...creating these boundaries

and making sure...

...we don't limit ourselves

with responsibility...

...and I don't wanna

live like that anymore.

That's not loving at all.

-ls that an eighties song?

-No, Brad.

-An eighties song?

-I'm tired of being one foot in.

I want us to be open,

love each other...

...however it's going to be.

If it means...

...we get married or

if we have kids...

...I feel like that's okay.

I wanna be in a relationship...

...that goes

where it needs to go.

Okay. I'd like the relationship

to go to Fiji.

Brad, this is very important.

I wanna have this conversation.

I don't want to.

I don't wanna have it.

I feel the same

when we first met.

I've been honest.

I don't want a conversation

about it...

...because I don't want

those things.

Okay.

You don't have

to come in.

I'm not going

to let you go in yourself.

I'll have my sister

drive me back.

We'll go

and I'll drive you home.

I'm not gonna go

and pretend...

...we're something we're not.

I can't do that anymore.

Listen to me, please.

Let's not overreact to this.

I'm not overreacting, Brad.

I get it.

I'm the one changing

the rules.

If you don't want to change

them with me, I understand.

I just can't do this anymore.

Honey?

Coming in?

Hey, Dad.

She made it!

Auntie Kate!

Auntie Kate!

Merry Christmas again!

Hi, Kasi.

Merry Christmas.

Come see the cool stuff

Grandpa Creighton got me!

Okay.

Hi, I'm Cheryl,

your dad's girlfriend.

-Nice to finally meet you.

-Excuse me.

-Hey, Kate!

-Hi, Mom.

I got a Dora the Explorer

backpack...

...a matching Dora thermos,

a big girl necklace...

...and princess shoes!

Hey, guys!

Hi, Auntie Kate.

Where's Brad?

Kasi, why don't you go

tell grandpa thanks...

...for all your new toys?

You'd better go or

I'm going to tickle.

Go!

This is amazing.

Dad and Mom

in the same room?

They hated each other.

They've been getting together

for stuff since Kasi turned one.

It must be really nice

for Kasi.

It's really nice for everyone.

-Where is Brad?

-He's not going to make it.

If it's all the same...

...I'd really just rather

not talk about it.

-I'm sorry. I didn't realize...

-It's okay.

It's not something I want

to get into right now.

We won't talk about him.

I have a great idea!

Internet dating.

Do it. It's great.

You just pay 20 bucks,

you put in your profile.

Susan, next door, did it.

She found her husband.

It's great.

He doesn't have a job,

they're on it.

You should do it!

-I'll think about that.

-Yes.

I'm gonna take a minute.

Okay. I got your back.

Gotcha.

Thanks.

Hi, kiddo.

Hey, Dad.

Did Brad leave to get

a jumpstart...

...on inoculating babies

in Burma?

What?

Maybe he's making

sock monkeys...

...for foster kids?

Or weaving ponchos

for pregnant women...

...in the Yucatan?

So, I guess you knew

we were lying?

Oh, boy.

Unfortunately, I've had

a lot of experience...

...bending the truth

to avoid my family.

And I'll tell you, honey.

I would give anything...

...to have that time

back again.

I would too.

It's taken me a lot of years...

...and several divorces

to learn that...

...nothing really beats

being honest.

Honest about who you are,

what you need...

...all the rest tends

to work itself out.

I was honest...

...and I think he was too.

It wasn't

what I wanted to hear.

Cheryl made the dressing...

...and I did some

of the cooking too.

I put the ice cubes

in the glasses...

...and salt

in the saltshakers.

All right, well.

Not long ago, I wouldn't

have been able...

...to put this group

of people together...

...in my wildest imagination.

The changes we've all

been through...

...the little hurts

we've given each other...

...we hope we're forgiven

for them.

We thank you, dear Lord...

...because there's nothing

more important than family.

-Amen.

-Amen.

Amen.

What the hell

do you want?

You forgot your tampons?

I didn't forget anything.

Just came by to see you.

What for?

You already destroyed

my TV and family room.

You want to bust up

my kitchen as well?

Look, I'm sorry

about that, Dad.

I didn't mean to do all that.

Where's tiny?

She didn't come?

Kate...

...she's not with me.

Finally smelled the pathetic

on you, did she?

No. In fact, she said

she wanted to get...

...more serious with me.

She said that...

...you know,

she loved me...

...wanted to see herself

having a family with me...

...having kids with me.

Congratulations. That's what

you wanted to hear?

-I said no, Dad.

-You what?

I told her I don't want

to get married.

Are you shitting me?

I'll be damned.

I'll be damned.

That's my boy.

I always knew you were

the smart one, Lando.

Your mind and spirit

are strong, like mine.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

It's always the one

you fight with the most...

...who is the most like you.

Why are we standing

out here for?

Let's go inside, have a drink.

Man to man.

Father to son.

-Right. Merry Christmas.

-Merry Christmas.

You're a big boy now.

Let's go in.

Take appraisal of the damage

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