Frankenhooker Page #2

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There we go.

Nice and slow.

That's very good.

That's it.

That's it.

Very good.

Nice and easy.

Very nice. Very tidy.

Very neat.

You like that Beaujolais don't you?

I got big news honey.

And it's the reason for

this celebration tonight.

There's a storm headed our way

It should be here in about two days

and I want to be ready for it.

If everything goes as planned

and it should..

It'll be a whole new look for you.

As a matter of fact, it'll be

a whole new you.

Let me show you what I mean.

Isn't she gorgeous?

Maybe teddy isn't your style, eh?

Okay.

What do you think?

Honey-pie, can't you picture

yourself in this body?

Kneeling on Ma's couch

in the basement.

How about the crawling cat, eh?

How 'bout this model?

A visit to the sweet shop?

I can make you into anything you want.

I can make you the centerfold

goddess of the century.

I just need the live parts.

But enough excitement.

How about a little dessert?

Something I wrote for you.

A poem.

Warning!

Contents under pressure.

By...

Jeffrey Franken.

My heart is packed

so full of love for you.

That I dreamed I exploded

Like aerosol cans sometimes do.

I blew with such force

that my bones became shrapnel.

And leveled the town

except the small chapel.

My teeth flew like bullets.

I didn't know what was happening.

They killed everyone in sight.

Except for the Chaplin.

And then, thanks to him,

we were happily wed.

Even though at the time, I...

think we were both dead.

The end.

I know it's not the best

poem in the world, but...

I want you to have it.

Goodnight Elisabeth.

I 'll Se you tomorrow.

It's six hundred volts more

or otherwise there's gonna be...

spider veins or I might get stuck

with a chicken leg.

No, that's...

How can I have gone too far?

Now I'm nitpicking.

I gotta have more wattage.

Otherwise I'm not gonna be happy.

I can't...

I don't wanna...

I can't.. I cant fell guilty now.

I don't wanna feel guilty now.

I just...

I just wanna make life.

I mean, you know.

I just wanna bring you back Elisabeth,

you know.

I mean in order for you to...

to live, I mean, somebody's gotta

take your place, you know?

I mean somebody

has to die for you to live.

Gettin' a cluster headache.

And as you can see

from this lovely map right here

we have some very exciting weather

arriving here in about two days.

More thunder and lightning and electricity

than you've ever enjoyed before.

Haha, very spooky.

Very spooky.

And just right for you

mad doctors out there:

It's great.

Two days.

Two days.

I gotta find her fresh parts

in two days.

OK. I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna do it.

I just gotta relax.

Relax. The key to this whole

thing is relaxation.

Relax, Calm down

and relax.

I can't relax.

Just gotta get right up from here.

Some people need drugs...

Some people need booze...

I just need a little surgical assistance.

Five-o-seven?

No, twenty-one, no...

Twenty-two.

Goodnight twenty-two.

OK. I gotta get

some...

Stewardesses.

Stewardesses.

Take the Van Wyck express way

out to Kennedy airport.

I'll walk on to the plane.

I've got a maintenance uniform on.

Girls! Ahh, there's a screw loose

in the luggage stool.

You gotta follow me and get off the plane.

I'll get them in the back of my van.

I'll tie them up

with the extension chords.

It's no good. That's not gonna work.

It's ridiculous.

Nobody's gonna believe that.

I don't care how stupid they are.

OK.

All right, now we try this again.

Now we're gonna come up

with something here.

The hole is already bored.

That..

That's it.

Okay, okay.

Why, it's..

It's so simple.

If I need female body parts...

Then I'll buy female body parts.

And there's a place across the river

where there's thousands of women

Anxious to sell their parts.

With no questions asked.

Of course with the right

amount of cash.

I do have my Christmas club account.

Ohh, this is...

Very busy here tonight.

This is like a smorgasbord here.

What a bufft.

Now, these legs are very nice.

Yes...

This might be easier than I thought.

Oh my god,

now this is..

She's nice.

A little lopsided though.

Come on now.

She's not gonna work out.

Very nice!

Oh, there is something very interesting.

OK. This is it.

I think this could be the block.

All right.

OK. This is it.

I've got it now.

Now, this is the block.

I'm...

OK.

Ride behind.

Nice and easy now.

OK.

Hey! You looking for some action?

Or a date?

Hey you!

Need some company?

Are you lonely?

Come on. Come on.

Hey! Goin' out?

Want a date?

Some action?

Company?

Are you lonely?

You look Ehh..

You.. You look great. I...

I'm not used to seeing a...

You're a Jersey Boy.

Aint 'ya?

Yeah, Jersey.

Right over the bridge.

Ehm.. to the left.

Well, you just take

a couple of deep breaths.

And relax.

Tell me what you want.

Ehm..well..

I'm looking for a couple of girls.

Ehm..That have the right..

Nice parts. I..I..

I'm looking for a lot of good parts.

Honey..

In case you aint noticed..

I not only have all the right parts.

I've got all the right places.

Sh*t, you got 'em all right.

You Ehh..You...

You're right. You're right.

You're right.

You got money?

Money? Yeah yeah.

I got Ehh...

I got..I got some. I...

I went to the bank.

Oh! Whoa!

Now you're talking.

Pardon me Jersey Boy.

Hold on. Wait a minute!

Wait a minute.

I'm not ready yet.

Well, let me in!

Look at you!

Don't wait up.

Not in front of everyone.

Stop it. I'm not ready.

I..I..I'm...

I need a few more girls.

How many more?

I don't know.

Yo! Amber.

Come over here!

What's all the fuzz?

Jersey Boy here

needs twosomes.

No no no no.

Jersey Boy doesn't want that.

Ehh...

Ahh...

I wanna..throw a party.

For my brother.

He's sick. Ehh...

I..I'm gonna need about Ehh...

Six or seven

Of the most beautiful girls

you've got on this block

Yourselves included.

See, I wanna..I wanna

have sort of like a beauty contest for him.

Oh! And you get the winner.

Right?

Well, Ehm..

I'll make a new woman of her.

It'll cost ya.

Oh, money...

Money is not a problem.

I got money.

Well lover. We can get you

all the girls you need.

You better check it out

with Zorro first.

Zorro?

Zorro.

Zorro.

I don't want any trouble.

Hey Spark.

Hi honey!

What can I do for You?

Where's Zorro?

He went to the back a while ago.

I aint seen him since.

Thanks.

This suck.

You need to go to the men's room.

I don't have to go.

I left my money in the bar.

Coming through.

I'm all right. I'm her Doctor.

Gotta get back there somehow.

How are you?

First time here.

I gotta go underneath here or..?

...and he says "how come you

don't do business with me?".

..And I've got the power of almighty hell!

Wait here a sec.

Here, Jersey Boy.

How do you do?

Zorro here will fix you up.

Get you everything you need.

See you later guys.

The Last diet.

Yeah, seems like there's a lotta

folks on it at these parts.

Abby tells me you're holding a party.

Need a lot of girls.

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