Frankie and Johnny Page #5

Sorry I'm late. Get off my back.

I think we should go to your place.

I think so.

I really like you

but does it have to be tonight?

Who says?

- I'm OK.

- Are you OK?

You got something?

- You mean rubbers?

- Yeah.

- Talk about a mood changer.

- Well, do you?

The truth is I didn't think this

was going to happen on a first date.

I just didn't think this...

The truth is, it's not going to.

- No.

- It's OK.

I don't know, I just...

If I'd brought something,

what would that look like?

It would look like I was planning

to do it with you.

No, it's OK. Maybe this

is just not such a good idea anyway.

Come on. I'm being penalised

for respecting you.

You're not being penalised,

you're just not getting laid.

Wait a minute now.

Is this about getting laid?

- Let's talk about...

- No. How about I make us a sandwich?

- You want a sandwich?

- A sandwich?

I hate wearing goddamn rubbers,

pardon my French. I know you have to.

I never thought I'd contemplate

sleeping with a man

who said "Pardon my French"

all the time.

Done.

I'll never say those words again.

Where do you pick up

an expression like that?

- This is good. You made this?

- No, my mum.

- Sh*t.

- Let me see that.

- It's all right.

- I'll get you something.

Just keep pressure on it. Don't

let any blood spill on the meatloaf.

I don't think this is gonna work out.

I can't hear what you're saying.

I'm a BLT-down sort of person,

I think you're looking for

someone a little more

pheasant-under-glass.

- What are you doing in there?

- I'm just looking for Band-Aids.

- What are you doing?

- Come on in. Sit down.

I know first aid.

Give me your finger.

Give me your thumb.

I'm 42.

- I'm 32.

- Really? You don't look it.

- I'm 44.

- Honest?

I'm gonna be 46 this year.

What do you want for your birthday?

I want to stop bullshitting

about things like my age.

I'll be 35 on the 11th of November.

You're a Scorpio?

Look in the medicine cabinet.

I have some.

I didn't want you

to get the wrong impression.

- They're behind the blue...

- I got 'em.

Is it on?

Not yet. You can't just

put it on until it's...

No, I know.

You know, I wouldn't have gotten

the wrong impression.

Let me hear you. I wanna hear you.

Come on, baby, let it go. Let it go.

Come on. Let it go. Come on.

I need eggs over-easy

and a roast chicken.

- Here you go.

- You wear bandanna, I wear bandanna.

So, the baby's coming soon?

Know what is it yet?

- Twin boys.

- Twins you got?!

- Can I touch?

- Yeah, be my guest.

This one just kicked the other one!

Cora, I never see you like this.

People think I'm a tough b*tch

but it ain't true.

Sh*t like this chokes me up.

Frankie, come here, touch the baby.

No, that's OK.

My hands are dirty. Next time.

This is your last chance.

I am never getting pregnant again.

You said last time!

Flora, the blue, remember?

Blue is for the morning.

The red one is for the evening.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome. Two eggs over-easy.

Hello to you, too.

I see you made it home all right.

Yes, I made it here this morning,

had time enough to put this together.

- Nice.

- I slept like a babe.

So, I saw you over there,

you like kids?

- They're OK.

- You look someone who likes kids.

Yeah? So did my father.

What does somebody

who likes kids look like?

I need an order

of liver and onions... Captain Ahab.

Thanks for loaning me the car, Nick.

He's lending me his car,

I got an errand to run.

- He's lending you his car?

- He likes my cooking.

How about we talk a walk?

I think we should.

- No. I gotta eat.

- We all gotta eat.

We'll eat. How about

I make a little picnic for us?

What's the menu?

Whatever you like.

You like tuna fish?

Tino tells me you like tuna.

- I'll make a tuna casserole.

- No! Not casserole.

- Tuna fish sandwich.

- I am defined by my tuna sandwich.

I take the tuna out of the can

and I work it between my fingers

till it's real soft.

I'm back.

It is kinda scary, you got to admit.

Two people coming together is scary.

You can't deny that it's happening.

I'll tell you how I really feel.

I feel like you're too needy for me.

I just feel like you want

everything that I am.

I do.

Nick tells me guys ask you

out and you keep saying no. Why?

I'm retired from dating.

What does that mean? Something

happened when you were a kid?

Why is it that any time

a women doesn't want to get involved,

men think it's because

they were messed with as a kid?

They were messed with as a woman.

I'm not gonna mess with you.

Do you like my tuna?

Yeah, it's good.

You didn't graduate high school,

so what? You can go back.

Go back? I don't think so. I had one

highlight in high school, one.

What was that?

I played Sister Sarah

in our production of Guys And Dolls.

No kidding.

- Frankie and Johnny.

- I've heard the song.

- We were a couple before we met.

- Didn't they kill each other?

No. She killed him.

You got the edge there.

Come on.

What are you doing tonight?

- It's my bowling night.

- Great! I love bowling.

No. It's a league and besides,

you have your errand.

- After my errand.

- No. I need a night to get over you.

OK, I'm on Meadow Brook. 14...

Meadow Brook.

111? What is 111?

So, am I close? There it is.

Let's bowl.

Now, concentrate, Cora.

Here we go, Frankie.

Need this spare, honey. Go!

Watch this. Watch! Beautiful!

- Hell.

- Great, Nedda.

- It was two.

- It was better than last time.

- You see that?

- Where'd you learn to bowl so good?

Altoona, PA.

That's about all I learned.

You're from Altoona?

I think I'm going to have

some kind of fit.

I was born in Altoona.

- Very funny.

- No! Are you kidding?

I was born in St Stephen's Hospital.

We lived on Martell Street.

I suppose you went

to Moody High School?

No, because we left when I was eight.

I went to

Park Lane Elementary, though.

Are you really from Altoona?

Why would anyone pretend

to be from Altoona?

To keep up this silly coincidence

theory. Don't encourage him.

My mother ran off with a guy

she met at an AA meeting,

my father took us to Baltimore,

to his sister.

- Cora, it's your turn.

- No, this is better. Go on.

She couldn't cope with us

so they put us in foster homes.

Now, I'm 18 years old

and I'm with the carnival.

This guy, Mr Memory, he's 85

years old, he's got a memory...

Instant recall, he's got things

in his head - entire books,

- palindromes, speeches...

- What's that?

Something you can spell backwards

and forwards the same way.

- Madam.

- Otto.

Boob, b-o-o-b.

- Puppy!

- Close enough.

Anyway, the old guy says to me...

Are we bowling or what?

Sorry. Shall we bowl?

That's why he has such a good memory.

He can't bowl in those shoes.

What is wrong with him?

I'm gonna use my own little ball.

Come on, Frankie, pull another one!

- How you doin'?

- OK.

You all right?

I know I wasn't supposed to come.

I don't know how you feel about it.

- It's OK.

- It's OK?

Really?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes