Frat Party Page #5

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right here because...

I really do love her

and as much as I love

Jesse Jane,

I need to go and, uh...

She's... she's a really lucky girl.

- You think so?

- You turned me down,

so yeah, I think so.

Thank you.

I'm gonna, um...

I'm gonna go.

- Okay.

- Thanks for coming.

- And, uh...

- Thanks for not coming.

Would you sign

my fridge? Please?

- Sure.

- There's a Sharpie in that mug over there.

Okay. I will.

I'll sign you fridge.

- Can I kiss that bunny?

- You wanna kiss my bunny?

Yeah. There you go.

- I always wanted to do that.

- (giggles)

- I'm gonna get married!

- Whoo-hoo!

# I can survive #

- # Ooh #

- Hey, Duff.

- Hey. Hey hey.

- Where's your girlfriend, big boy?

- She's actually not here.

- Oh! Lucky for me then.

Yeah, no no no.

Actually, I'm getting married.

- I'm getting married tomorrow.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- Shouldn't you be at the rehearsal...

Yes! L... I should.

I should be there.

So, l... I'm going right now.

Yeah, I'll meet you upstairs.

Yeah? Upstairs.

Holy God.

(cheering, shouting)

Mac!

Mac!

Come on, boy!

(smooches)

Come on!

(whistles)

Damn it!

Get over here!

Did you see me sucking face

with that hot chick?

Shh! See that guy? Him.

That dude right there

does not belong here.

Mac:

What... what?

That's Adriana's ex-boyfriend.

It's her sister's...

Duff, did you f*** her?

- No.

- No?!

- No!

- No?!

- No, d*ckhead!

- Dude, I would've f***ed her!

- I know you would've...

- You didn't f*** Jesse Jane?

- I spent all my money on that chick.

- Way to go, bro.

By the way, Mac, the girl you're

making out with has herpes.

Anyways, follow me

(French accent)

To the sex dungeon.

Yeah, like big-time herpes.

I got it from her.

Can I go back up there with Jesse Jane

then? 'Cause it won't matter.

Duffy:

Come on.

- (industrial music playing)

- (Chad humming)

- (industrial music playing)

- (Chad humming)

Man:

Oh, wow.

Duffy-Duff, meet Jennifer,

your sex dungeon goddess.

Jesus, Chad.

L... you look so...

(grunting)

- Oh, sh*t.

- Oh, man!

- I can't watch.

- Damn it.

- Oh my God.

- Damn it!

You literally just made him

ejaculate in his boxer shorts.

- Mac:
Oh, God!

- Clean him up.

I'm gonna do that.

- (groans)

- Sorry, Mac's always had a thing for you.

(chuckles)

Yeah.

Both:
L...

- I had no idea, Jenn.

- Yeah, well, I figured

I'd never see

these guys again, so...

I'm more surprised

to see you here.

I thought you were...

I thought you were getting married.

I am, tomorrow.

You know,

you should've married me, Duff.

I mean... Kelly?

Lily? And Adriana?

Are you serious?

I am the one for you.

Um, that was like

three and a half years ago.

I know, but it's always

so good to see you.

You just gotta let it go.

Okay, look, why don't we do

a little goodbye present?

Say, a little sadomasochistic

present from me to you?

- Um...

- Come on, what do you say?

That's really sweet.

Could you do me a favor?

(stammers)

Oh, yeah, you want sex, no whipping.

(laughing)

- No sex...

- What?

...unfortunately.

Um, I need you to do me

a big favor.

- Um, okay.

- Okay, there's this guy.

- He's spying on me, all right?

- (laughs)

- Seriously?

- Yeah, seriously.

It's weird, I know,

but Adriana's family...

probably her dad...

hired this guy Stefano

to come and, you know,

spy on me.

And why would

they be spying on you?

I don't know, nervous

about the wedding I guess.

(laughs)

No,

probably because you skipped out

on the rehearsal dinner.

(laughs)

How did you know about...

it's not... it's not a rehearsal dinner.

It's actually a family...

That is what it's called, Duffy.

That is what happens

the night before the wedding.

It's a rehearsal dinner.

- I'm allowed to miss it.

- No, you're not.

Would you help me out, please?

So, you want me to lure him in

and tease him

and then tie him up

so that he can't leave, right?

That's exactly what I was gonna say.

That's so weird.

- Oh!

- (whip cracks)

- Ow!

- That's exactly why I'm the one for you.

That's not the one at all.

Duffy! What the f***?

I give you this

leather, hot piece of ass

and you talk?

Treat her like a piggy bank

and put things inside her. Look!

- Don't you see?

- There's this thing.

- Chad Chad Chad. Okay, cool.

- What?

I need you to do something for me.

I am doing something for you.

Look at this hot piece of ass.

- (giggles)

- Yeah, all right.

You guys can hook up

whenever you want to,

but for now, I need you to go

and find the Stefano guy,

bring him here

and introduce him to Jennifer.

Oh, I hate that guy.

I saw him upstairs. He's an a**hole.

- Yeah.

- I was gonna say something mean,

but I'm scared of people.

Well, you know what?

Don't worry about it.

- I'll change his tune.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

- So, I'll go get him

while you

kind of do things to her.

- Give me a few minutes.

- All right.

- We'll set it up.

- You know what I'm talking about?

Hey, hide your panties.

- Still wet.

- Hi, Jenn.

Uh-huh.

So, when he comes up,

I want you to just like tie him up...

- Yeah yeah yeah...

- Seduce him a little bit.

This is gonna be my plan.

We're gonna undress you.

Take it off, take it off.

Okay. So we're going

to get you undressed.

- Okay? Help me.

- Sorry. Sorry.

- I'm still...

- Do it before he gets down here.

- I want him to see you.

- That's a good idea.

- Yeah, it's gonna be perfect.

- Okay.

Because I want him to see exactly

what we're going to do to him.

- Okay.

- He has to believe it.

- Okay, cool.

- Okay.

- Are you ready?

- These come off too?

Yeah, everything. Shoes.

Take 'em off.

- Okay.

- Okay.

- This sounds like it...

- No, I promise. I promise.

Take your socks off,

it looks terrible.

- Duffy:
Um...

- Okay. Okay, now...

this is the best part.

So, I'm going to tie him like this.

I'm going to show you, okay?

So, come stand right here. Okay?

Now, I'm gonna

put your hands in here.

- Okay.

- Like this and then we're gonna go...

(chirps)

Tighten 'em.

- Yeah.

- Go like this. Gonna pull 'em up.

- (Jennifer chirps)

- Yeah.

- This is gonna be awesome.

- 'Cause then he can't do anything.

I know, it's perfect.

And then, your other hand.

- Oh, both hands.

- Oh, yeah.

They can't be free.

Come on.

- Duffy:
I get it though.

- Right? No. We have to do it.

- He has to see...

- Duffy:
Be like practicing or something...

That's right.

- Back?

- Tighten that sh*t up.

- Ready?

- Yeah, okay.

Okay.

We can pull out our toys

and we can decide

everything we want to do to him

when he comes down here, right?

Well, l... I already know

what I want you to do...

- Like what? You tell me.

- I want you to tie him up like this.

- Uh-huh?

- And I want you to speed-bag his balls

like you're a boxer,

just boom boom boom.

- Ooh, I would love to.

- Okay.

And then maybe you can

pour some hot wax on them.

- Uh-huh.

- Maybe take that shovel off the wall

- and shove it up his anus.

- Okay.

- Not supposed to grab that.

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