Frat Party Page #7

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(chuckles)

- (hip-hop music playing)

- (people moaning)

(rock music playing)

I can't fly that slow!

# Come on, let go, so I have to show you

why I'm going, showing #

# Everybody's knowing

that it's so sad #

# It's so bad #

# I used to be #

# The one who #

# Had to #

# Criticize me #

# And it holds you... #

- (hip-hop music playing)

- (both giggling)

- (moaning)

- Oh, God.

I'm bigger than a tree.

I'm bigger than Tommy Lee.

I'm hung like a motherfucking

baby donkey.

Shh. Jesse.

(laughs)

Jesse?

- Oh, sh*t!

- (moaning)

Sh*t! Oh, no! No!

No!

(grunts)

(rock music playing)

Dude, where's...

where's my cell phone?

It's probably in the back, man.

Sh*t, dude.

Where's my cell phone?

Dude, check in the back.

# I stared the Devil in the face

until I went blind... #

Bro, I didn't call Adriana!

- (huffs)

- I didn't call Adriana.

Hey, it's not a big deal.

You're going to go down there

and marry her. You have the rest

of your life to fight over it.

Okay. I need your cell phone.

Dude, she can wait.

We're gonna be there in a couple hours.

She probably

thinks I'm not coming.

Mac:

Of course, you're coming. It's ridiculous.

- Just give me your cell phone.

- I can't let you use my cell phone.

I'm over on weekend minutes. My mom's

gonna kill me if I use them up again.

Adriana's gonna kill me

and I'm gonna kill you.

- Just let me use your cell phone.

- Dang it, Duff.

Just try and make it quick.

No lovey-dovey smooshy crap.

Duffy:

Give me that phone, man.

# Here we go again... #

There's... there's no bars.

- There's no bars, dude!

- Shake it.

I'm not... shake... what?

Shake the phone,

sometimes the bars come in.

The antenna's a little weary.

- (grunting)

- Now check.

No bars, dude.

Drive... drive this... here.

- Hold on.

- I'm just trying to...

just try to like...

- Drive!

- I'm driving!

Duffy:

Mac, your phone is dead.

(crickets chirping)

(crickets chirping)

(whirring)

(dialing)

(sighs)

Come on.

(sighs)

Michela:

No answer?

Sh*t, Micky.

What am I gonna do?

Sorry.

Maybe he's still on the plane.

(sighs)

He'll make it. His phone battery

probably just died.

Oh, God.

You don't understand, okay?

The phone is ringing,

he's just not answering.

I'm sorry.

He'll make it.

Oh, sh*t, Micky.

What am I gonna do?

He'll make it.

(bells tolling)

Adriana:

Sh*t!

Sh*t.

(crying)

He's not answering.

I'm sorry.

What am I going to do?

Marry Stefano.

- Are you kidding me?

- Just do it.

Papa wants you to.

You love him.

Adriana, Stefano

will never marry me.

This is insane.

Do it! Everyone is coming.

Duffy... he didn't show up.

He blew you off.

If you show up with Stefano,

people will embrace it.

You know they will.

They want you to marry him.

What about his family

and friends coming to the wedding?

- His parents...

- How many of his friends are coming?

- How many?

- I don't know, like 10 maybe.

Oh, okay. And how many

are coming for you?

- Do it.

- Oh, God.

Do it!

(screams)

No! You know what?

- I'm just calling it off.

- Are you kidding?

- No.

- You can't call it off.

You cannot call it off.

Papa will kill you.

(rock music playing)

# Something in your eyes #

# Tonight #

# Something that says #

# You'll give it away #

# You don't need any reasons... #

Dude, it was right there, man.

(laughing)

We did it.

- (laughs)

- We made it, bro.

So stoked.

Dude, that beast is nice.

Duffy:

Who needs a red-eye flight?

Hey, do you have any mouthwash?

Uh, no. Why?

You're good, right?

My mouth tastes like

a used sporting goods store.

It's probably 'cause you had that Chinese

ball-gag in your mouth all night.

- That's a good point.

- You always were a slow dresser, man.

Don't hold us up.

This is your wedding.

You were always

a fast undresser, buddy.

Dude, you been working out?

Those pecs are looking really ripe.

Thanks, bro.

- (buckle jangling)

- Was I snoring?

I don't know.

I was asleep too.

- What?!

- I mean, uh, yeah. You were really loud.

- I turned the radio up.

- You didn't wear your contacts today?

I mean, I'm driving.

Why would I wear contacts?

- Exactly.

- Then I've gotta see better.

Dude, those bridesmaids

better be gorgeous.

I heard Italian chicks

suck good dick.

Well, they're all rich.

They're good cooks

and they have fat asses.

I should be the one getting

married anyway. Look at me.

I look better than you in that.

Come here.

Do ya? Yeah, straighten

that up a little bit.

- Okay.

- Eyebrows?

- Fix my eyebrows up.

- Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, that looks good.

Don't you think?

(choir vocalizing)

(Adriana sniffling)

(grunts)

(crying)

(rock music playing)

# I've been coming #

# I've been coming after you #

# You got me coming out #

# You got me coming

right after you #

# Uh-oh, uh-oh... #

Sh*t. Come on.

Adriana!

- God damn it.

- Father:
Adriana!

- Adriana.

- Stop calling him.

I don't understand it.

It just keeps ringing.

- What are you going to do?

- I don't know.

- Tell him. Tell him.

- No! No!

Papa, everything's going to be okay.

Duffy's on his way.

There's just something

wrong with his phone.

- He dumped you.

- No, Michela. Okay?

No, Papa. He's on his way, okay?

He'll be here.

Marry Stefano, my love.

- Adriana:
No, Papa!

- Just do it, Adriana.

You know you like him.

- Go ahead and marry him.

- Adriana, listen to your sister.

He's here.

He wants to speak to you.

Papa, Jesus.

- Adriana.

- Hello, Stefano.

Look, I'm here for you.

Mm, thank you,

but I don't need you.

Duffy's coming, okay?

Well, I'll wait until

the very last minute.

I'm dressed and ready

to be your husband,

so if you decide

you want to marry me today,

I'd be honored to do so.

(gasps)

Thanks, um,

I really appreciate it,

but that's just not necessary

because Duffy's on his way.

- Well, I'm here for you.

- Mm.

Adriana, you should

consider Stefano's offer.

He's a good man.

He'll be a good husband.

Duffy, he doesn't show up

at the wedding.

He's not here

and we're ready, so...

No, Papa.

He's coming.

- I hope so.

- Yeah.

I hope so,

but Stefano is here

and we're ready.

It's time. It's time.

L... I think he'll be good

for the family,

good for the company,

he'll be a good husband for you

and I approve of him.

- I approve of him.

- Yeah.

I know.

I know, Papa.

(sighs)

(grunting)

- I hate you, Duffy!

- (laughing)

- (chattering)

- Shut up!

I can't believe it.

I'm so nervous. I'm not nervous.

Shh. You look great, man.

Dude, you are getting married.

I'm so proud of you, man.

I know I gave you a hard time for this,

but you're doing

the right thing, man.

- Think she'll forgive me?

- Does she love you?

- She loves me.

- Than she'll forgive you.

Go make a wife out of her, man.

(laughs)

(silent)

(murmuring)

Great job there, son.

We want to thank you

for inviting us to your wedding.

You are welcome.

How was it?

Duffy, you really screwed

the pooch on this one, honey.

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