Freak Show Page #2

"Zelda Fitzgerald,"

"The Teapot Dome Scandal"

and "The Picture

Of Dorian Gray."

Now, there's plenty of time

between now and October 18th.

Don't let me down.

Have a great rest of your day.

Class dismissed.

The ladies who lynch.

- Hi!

- Hey.

It's Billy, right?

Yes, it is indeed.

Well, we just wanted

to come on over

and say "Hey."

- Hey.

- Hey.

We all might've gotten off

on kind of the wrong foot

seein' as you are,

you know, the new queer.

I mean, um,

I mean... I mean, kid

on the block and all.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Just, we're not really

used to people like you

around here.

- You mean amazing people?

- No.

I mean, like, boys

who dress like...

- Fashion icons?

- No, she means...

Legends of the runway?

Girls. She means boys

who dress like girls.

Anyway, don't mind her.

We were actually just

wondering if, you know

you'd like to help us

with our style

seein' as you've got it

all goin' on.

Absolutely, it'd be my pleasure.

How about we start right now?

Okay, Sesame.

Ditch the sweatpants.

Like Lagerfeld said

"It's the ultimate

sign of defeat."

Pretty funny, isn't it, Tiff?

Almost as funny as those wedges.

What are you trying

to do with those things?

- Kill a family of rats?

- Don't you dare.

One must always dare, darling.

Or else we'd all end up

looking like you.

Well, this has been fun.

We should do it

again sometime, okay?

Kisses.

I know I just signed

my own death warrant.

But sometimes, you just

gotta dress a b*tch down.

What is it this time, Bloom?

I am being

practically terrorized out there

and you won't lift

a fetal pig's brow

to stop it.

Is someone teasing you?

Yes, uh, Bernie, Bib

Tiffany, Lynnette Franz

all day, every day.

Aren't you being

overly dramatic?

Normally, I would take

that as a compliment

but, no, I'm not, look at this.

Mr. Reamer.

You have to transfer me

out of that class.

Nothing I can do.

So, you're just gonna

sit there and watch

like a good German?

If Mr. Reamer won't

transfer me out of Biology

I'm gonna get myself

kicked out of Biology.

How?

It's Lindsay Lohan

that gets kicked out

of all those four-star

hotels and strip clubs,

not Taylor Swift.

The pussiest pimple gets popped.

Okay.

Billy, you're starting

to scare me.

What're you gonna do?

I'm gonna get popping.

What?

Weeks rolled by

as I slalomed through

the daily shitshow

of masticated spitballs.

Total war.

What're you lookin' at, f*ggot?

You, Bernard.

The f*ggot is clearly

looking at you.

If you losers

can't see..

The hash-fag.

Life is hard, Billy.

Yes, but it's beautiful too.

Don't you know

your queen?

Whipped

Should we slow down, Muv?

Heaving

Slow down?

Oh-ho-ho.

To slow down would be

a fatal mistake.

Don't you know

your queen?

Cracked

Peeling

Slop on that gunk.

Hide that desperation.

Goal?

To erase Billy Bloom completely.

Let someone else

take over for a while.

When Billy looked around

and saw all he created

he said..

"It is good."

It is very good.

No family is safe

When I sashay

That's messed up.

What are you doin'?

Hey hey hey hey

Hey hey hey hey

Hey hey hey hey

Don't you know

your queen?

Gleaming

Wrapped

in golden leaf

Don't you know me?

Rank

Ragged

Skin sewn on sheets

Are you happy, Billy?

Me?

I've never been happier.

...the barracks

It's hard to be happy

when you're

a chrysanthemum in a coal mine.

You know what I mean?

Into the fold

Marry

No family is safe

When I sashay

Hey! Move!

Listen, I've gotta

prepare you

for this world.

The world can be a cold,

hard, humorless place.

No! Move!

That's why..

You must always

let your fancy roam.

Yeah, I want you

to learn to take

a deep breath.

- And if life kicks you..

- Muv.

You just kick harder!

Higher!

Higher!

Higher!

Muv.

Higher! Higher!

Muv.

Mr. Bloom.

Hey, Mr. Bloom,

I think he's wakin' up.

You're still

in the hospital, son.

You were in a coma

for five days.

Where is Muv?

She was just here.

Well, she couldn't make it, son.

Probably blacked out in a ditch.

- What did you say?

- Uh, she sends her love.

Welcome back, Billy.

You gave us all

quite a scare there.

How many fingers

am I holding up?

- One.

- Good.

Any blurred vision?

Headaches? Nausea?

All of the above.

Could I get some

lip gloss please?

When can I

take him home, doctor?

In a few days.

Your son has multiple abrasions

contusions, concussions

organ trauma and hemorrhaging

that we need to keep an eye on.

Well, I guess they

didn't like the dress.

Billy is quite

a fighter, Mr. Bloom.

The good news is

he is going to mend

with at least

a month of bed rest

and a little physical therapy.

You will feel quite dizzy

for a while

so just..

You take it easy, okay?

What happened?

Sir, do you mind if I tell him?

Of course not.

Uh, could you guys,

uh, give us a minute?

I'd... I'd like

to hear this, um, alone.

I'll give you

five minutes, okay?

And check his vitals and, uh..

Get the boy some lip gloss.

Hey.

Hi.

You know, you've got

a great dad.

He's been so worried

about you, Billy.

Me too, I've been here

just about everyday.

Most days, anyway, and..

I've been talking

to you non-stop.

Did you hear me?

No.

I even got you a..

Fashion magazine.

Ooh..

I'll just leave it here,

alright?

So, there were these guys

just texting sh*t about you.

And I... I didn't really

think much of it

'cause everyone's been

talking sh*t about you

since you got here.

They have?

Billy, come on.

When you didn't

show up to Bio lab

and, and

neither did... did

Tim and Sal

and those a**hole

sophomore jocks..

Uh, look, Billy, I tried.

Like I really, really tried...

Flip..

It's... it's... it's okay.

I am not mad.

I'm grateful.

You saved my life.

Really?

Really, really, really.

Alright, well,

I gotta go, alright?

Where are you going?

Football practice.

You're..

Oh, you're good, buddy.

Doc said you're gonna be

good as new, back to..

Think fast, Bloomy.

Think fast.

Doctor!

What happened?

- What happened?

- I... I don't know!

Thank you, Flip.

Okay, you're home now.

And I better get goin', so..

What? No, no, no, no, no.

Stay here, you just got here.

Yeah, well, I just,

I just figured, you know

you'd want some rest

or... or call,

call your friends.

- Or something.

- Relax.

You can't catch

multiple contusions.

Florence will make you

something to eat.

I... I... I just

wanna thank you

for everything that you've done.

Yeah, you know, Billy,

I appreciate it,

I... I do

but, I'm not, I just,

I really... I really

better get going.

Bye.

Holy..

You're an expressionist.

Huh, I see.

Well, yeah, I'm not

a total caveman, Billy.

You know, when I saw this,

this was part

of an exhibit

at the Met in New York.

Yeah, it was on loan.

Daddy likes to spread the wealth

but not the hugs and kisses.

I told my dad that

I was gonna go see a Mets game.

And he bought it.

Oh, were these

the extra glitter?

- I love it.

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