Freaky Deaky Page #7

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sh*t, but how he knows sh*t.

Check it out, it's...

The same thing's what I'm saying.

This motherfuckers just like

an attorney, man.

See it?

See that?

Man, you ain't supposed

to have that thing.

This is the part

where you fellas run.

I'm gonna count to two.

One.

Two.

Juicy.

Who is it wants my leg busted?

It's Donnell, right?

Are you pretending

you're invisible?

All right, I need an answer,

so let me show you what Clint

would do, okay?

Okay!

Juicy.

Juicy!

It's Donnell, right?

Say it.

It was him.

You know,

you could have just told me.

Save me from having to

f*** up your car.

What, this?

It's not my car.

WOODY:
I can't sleep.

DONNELL:
Maybe a drink will help.

Hey, partner.

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar!

How'd you get in here?

It wasn't hard.

Was it?

You wanna tell me what

you're doing here?

We're here because

you f***ed up.

Wait now.

First, let me run upstairs,

get the man settled with a nightcap.

Bring our stuff in.

All of it?

We're going to use it,

aren't we?

SKIP:
Woo-hoo!

Your boy Skip's kind of an outpatient,

is he not?

Yeah.

Whoa, hey, hey!

- Don't bring that sh*t in here.

- It won't hurt you.

All we need is a place to stash it

and by Monday morning,

I promise, it'll be gone.

You have a gun in the house?

Come on.

Put that sh*t in the garage.

SKIP:
Yeah, this is good.

This stuff needs a cold

dry place.

Highly volatile.

Jesus... Oh, sorry.

Put that sh*t over

by my golf shoes.

Easy does it, easy...

Okay, okay.

Boom!

A gun, sweetheart?

Used to have one,

didn't need it.

Too bad, could have used it.

- You wanna know why?

- Tell me.

Your buddy the cop is gonna

come looking for you.

The kids you sent to do

a job on him blew it.

Good night.

Oh.

- Hi, this is Greta Wyatt...

- Hey...

Leave your name and number,

please, after you hear the beep.

I will get back to you.

(BEEP)

Uh, Greta, hi, it's Chris.

Listen, I really need to talk to you.

Good morning...

I was listening.

I was hoping it was you.

Um, hey.

I tried to call you earlier,

but nobody picked up.

You changed your message on

your little answering thing, huh?

I think I may be retiring

Ginger Lenova.

You know there's nothing wrong

with Greta Wyatt, right?

Look, can we get

together later tonight?

They found my car,

I gotta go pick it up

and then I gotta take care of

something at Woody's.

- But I'll call you after?

- Sounds good.

- Chris?

- Hmm?

Uh, miss you.

Miss you too.

Stay put, okay?

I Will.

Morning.

Woody!

Hi!

Mwah.

Aw...

Oh, you don't remember me?

Aw...

Oh!

Robin.

How much do you need?

Let's celebrate.

Donnell, get some food

for later.

Mr. Chinaman.

We don't need Donnell.

What'd you bring him in for?

I don't know,

I thought it was a good idea.

Did you decide where you're gonna

put the dynamite?

As soon as I

figure that out, it'll be easy.

Look, as soon as Donnell gets back,

why don't you take him to the bathroom

or someplace, huh?

You do what you're good at,

I'll do what I'm good at,

maybe we'll get lucky

and pull this thing off.

Luck has nothing to do with it.

Can you believe this guy?

Beautiful.

Well, while you were

upstairs getting laid,

I was down here taking care of the stuff

you asked me to do.

So can I have

my piece of candy, mama?

Where'd you put it?

Don't worry about it, but you're gonna

love how it works.

(DOORBELL)

GRETA:
- I'm sorry to barge in like this.

DONNELL:
- Well, you here now.

I just want to

talk to Woody a minute.

I want to give him back his check.

He's right there, go ahead.

Mr. Woody!

Look who come to see you.

Over this way, Mr. Woody.

Look, it's Ginger.

I should have called,

I'm sorry.

- I have to go.

- No, hey, hey, he's waving to you.

Better get out the pool,

Mr. Woody,

you gonna be

all wrinkled like a prune.

You might as well make yourself

comfortable, sweetie.

- You want something to drink?

- Okay, one drink, please.

I bet I know what she'd like.

GRETA:
I wanted to give you

back this check.

GRETA:
Chris, hi.

I was thinking,

I don't want Woody's money.

It feels gross.

I'm gonna give him back his check

and call off the wedding.

That was a joke.

Anyways, you said you were

going over there,

so I guess I'll see you in a little bit.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Sh*t.

WOODY:
violet or perceiving it

with sonar...

- Flying.

- You would be... It'd be dark.

If you were a person and then

you were a bat,

you'd see the same thing

that a person would see, but...

- But you'd be a bat.

ROBIN:
- You would.

Oh, good one.

When you're speaking like...

(COUGHING)

A different perceptive element,

so if you can visualize that,

you'd be perceiving this,

but you would be a bat.

(DOORBELL)

Where's Greta?

You mean Ginger?

Oh, she out there.

Greta.

What's wrong with you?

- What did they give you?

- She fell in the pool.

- She tripped.

- She tripped.

Yeah, sh*t, that's what she did,

she tripped.

She tripped.

You give her acid?

I didn't give her anything,

Skip did.

Hey, no, it was only a half one.

She wanted it, ask her.

You tell her what might happen?

Look, she's fine, don't worry about it,

don't sweat it, man, it's all good...

DONNELL:
That wasn't bad.

You slipped it to her,

didn't you?

Ask her how she feels...

just go ahead, ask her, ask her.

Don't f***ing move.

Are you gonna

take that from him?

Will you just stay out of it,

for Christ's sake?

How do you feel?

I'm just a little tired, that's all.

Did he tell you what

he was giving you?

I don't know, he just gave me a drink

and he said...

I don't know what he said.

Sit tight,

you're gonna be okay.

We'll be out of here soon, okay?

Come on, Officer.

You need to get that edge

taken off, man, have a drink.

Have a seat by your Ginger,

Robin will read you something

that will enlighten you

while I go throw this in the trash.

Sh*t.

Okay, okay.

What to do?

Leave the motherfucking house.

I come back from

Mr. Chinaman, I don't lock it.

Motherf***er.

Motherf***er.

CHRIS:
To conspiring

to extort money.

The only difference is you're doing it

with paper instead of a bomb.

All right, what's the problem?

Think it'll be contested?

Fine, let's wait and see.

It's done...

I want to get this party started.

Catch!

- Skip.

- Give me your gun.

Come on, you're not serious.

Deadly.

Give me your gun.

That's it.

Robin, take his gun.

Let me have it.

It's big.

Now, you are gonna be spending

the night tonight

so we don't have to

worry about you.

In the morning, fine,

you can leave, no problem.

Is this how you do it?

Do you feel lucky, punk?

(THUNDERCLAP)

MAN ON TV:
Anyway, I thought it would

be a good idea

if we could get Burt to recreate

one of his stunts for our viewers.

Good idea.

Hey, Burt! Burt!

Ladies and gentlemen,

Burt Reynolds!

Say, listen, knowing how you

do all your own stunts...

BURT:
Yes, I do.

Yeah, I know you do and we just saw 'em

and they're great

and I thought it would really be nice

if you could recreate something

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